six years ago.. just let it go already.. so what happened the first time around when you backed away from her? Do you know what you want this time around? Are you really going to break her heart a 2nd time?
If they both like or want each other..then there's no problem. I mean Trance u are sure u want her right? Just tell her straight up.. i wanna be with you, and ask, do you feel the same? move on if she doesn't answer or walk you in a circle (if you kno what i mean).
I can't believe I'm asking for opinions for my own issues. Might as well add to this thread instead of starting anew. Met two HB9s. Their signalling is pretty much short of a costume labelled "Come fucking talk to us.". They pretty much went through the entire IOI list (Indicators of Interest). They were always grouped with others. I don't have a problem with up to HB7s, but fuck, I can't isolate for my life with HB8+. This is embarrassing, but what do?
hm... doesnt quite relate to my situation but okay... we never went out 6 years ago, i just left her when she liked me..
No it doesn't relate to your situation but I didn't see the need to create a new thread when we can just use one. I also thought we came to a close in regards to your situation so I thought it would be a good idea to turn this into an all-purpose "seddit" thread. As for your situation, all I have to say is move on. There's a window frame in which you need to reciprocate to an attraction, and if you miss that bus, you're forever stuck in the friend zone. Trust me I've had it happen to me before. In fact it happened yesterday.
uh... u are definitely not in the friend zone. ur at that awkward not bfgf, but not friend zone. she sleepin over, cuddling. yeah friends dun do that kinda stuff.
the easiest way to figure it out is either talk to her or make your move and her reaction will give you an answer. we can't tell you the answer because we are not her. simple.
@tranceNrg i finally realize this and i think... she hasn't fully broken up with him yet! and she's still clinging onto him which means they are probably on and off relationship talking to each other still.. either one of them hasn't fully let go yet or they both haven't thats why she's feeling guilty to not fully commit with you... keep doin what ur doing until she fully lets go and maybe when or if she realizes ur not just a rebound.. just keep at it being a friend and being more then just a friend.. just let her pace while showing u are better
Thanks for your input hadouken. You are abosolutely correct, she just posted on one of her tumblr blog saying she never acknowledged their broke up yet she still has feelings for him. So. . . if she still hasn't fully drop it yet I cant really proceed any further.
I would say go for it and ask her cuz the worst she can do is say no and life is to short to dwell on things like what if's
*UPDATE* We still do the same things. And I finally got to find out where she is standing right now. She said that she is still in love with her ex, shes talking to him weekly now, as they dont live in the same city. She said that in her head she painted the picture of her and her ex together in the future, and some reasons why shes holding on to him is because she doesn't want to break the promises they have made for each other. I also asked her where I'm standing with her as we are basically big part of each others life right now, because we do everything together basically every day and she will breakdown also if she walks away too. And she said I shouldn't get my hopes high because time is the main component of who she will end up with in the future. how should I help her to get over her ex?
Honestly dude, and to put it bluntly, eff that shit. That's her business, not yours. You have a major case of one-itis. The longer you mope around this girl, the longer it'll take you to move on to other fish. So I'm telling you now, Move. On. It's not HOW you should help her to get over her ex, it's you should NOT help her. Period. I'm telling you right now, you're hanging on to this girl for dear life. Even if she didn't have feelings for this ex, your needy behaviour will only deter her and other girls away. Every guy gets one-itises, even the best. Hell, I've got a one-itis going on right now myself that I'm trying to rid. Get rid of this one-itis. Move on. Or you'll never meet a girl in the next decade.
Told u ur just a shoulder to cry on... This is not gonna work ur just the guy who takes care of her n thats it.... If u just wanted to b friends with her n help her then thatd b find but u have feelings for her so i suggest u stop wastin ur time n energy now n try to get over her urself cuz once she gets over her ex or if she does for that matter, whos gonna fix u?
Dan and misscheeks made some good points. She pretty much straight out rejected u, but was tryin to do it in a nice way to keep tge friendship. She wants to be with her ex and only sees a future with him. So u really shouldnt hang out with her the way u are now in this awkward zone. Not to say cut off all contacts...but definitely don't try to cling. Let her figure things out with the ex and look for another target. make the boundaries clear..otherwise ur friendship will also end.
tranceNrg, let me tell you want you need to do. Cut ties with her. Even friendship ties. She's taking you for granted (as a friend, nothing more), and then when she realizes that you're not around any more, she'll get to thinking. If she likes you, she'll pursue you. If she doesn't well, that's too bad for her. She sees you as a friend. You see her as a future wife (you may deny this, but I'll bet during your moments of over-analysis, this thought will cross your mind). Shit WILL NOT work out. See other girls. And when you DO see other girls, do not put them on a pedestal like you've placed this girl. That will ensure that you will never have the girl. If that doesn't convince you, think of it this way. You're given a red pill and a blue pill: 1) Blue pill is the one where you try and be her best BFF, and you will never enter a relationship for the rest of your life, because you're not pursuing other girls, and this one-itis girl of yours has ZERO interest in you. Trust me, you won't be able to change anything if you think you can change her. 2) Red pill: You say fuck this girl, and you go out, fix yourself, and explore the abundance of available girls in the world. If you do it right, that girl might rejoin the abundance of available girls. But who knows, you might even find a better girl than the one you're hung up on. So I repeat: Tell yourself "Forget about this girl" and move the fuck on. You'll be happier in life.
There's 2 ways u can do this... 1. dump her now while u can and avoid all the trouble she'll give you in the future 2. get her into bed so she gets some kinda attachment to you and work from there honestly shes not worth it.. it's possible she could be with you but its going to take time... a crap load of time.. and headaches... but to get there you would need her to sleep with you so ur more then just third rank side option... you'll then be moved to second place or maybe first and then u can build from there. (minus the sleeping option it could take a long long long time being her best friend and hope she accepts you... but is it worth it? u may or may not get rejected for all the hard work so its not worth the risk and time/headache) At this point you don't have to worry about her letting go of him because she's not.. he's not letting go of her either so it's best you forget about her as she's damaged good in this point of her life and that calls for alot of trouble.. If anything u can get sex out of it but its not worth the trouble to be in a relationship with someone who is still attached to another person. Try again in 3-6 months... keep a distance in your contacts with her and see if she's still with him and you are going to see that you didn't waste that much time tryin to be with her because she'll likely be in that same high drama with the other guy when u check 3-6 months from now. *dammit dan i just saw ur post and why did u have to do something similar to me with the blue and red bill? hahha
Brilliant last few posts...straight to the point and really good advice! Now you know you are a just good friend, will you want to continue this close friendship? Better to call it off and become distant friends...
