Quarter life crisis: Is it real or is it merely a fad?

I've always thought the idea of a "quarter life crisis" is pretentious and all in one's head. Though in recent days I'm starting to question the validity of that statement.

I've always been an ambitious individual, one who knows exactly where he wants to go and always has a plan to achieve his goal. Not a year or two ago, my passion for programming and coming up with software solutions for people was through the roof. When people had problems with something, I'd develop a quick software solution to solve their needs. My ultimate goal in my professional life is to get into executive management.

However recently, I've started taking a step back and re-evaluate where I am, and realized that for the better part of my university life, I've focused on the technical side of things far too much. Coming up with ideas and implementing them is nice, but it's the business side of things that actually takes these ideas and commercialize them.

And so after studying and improving my understanding of business (which I greatly enjoy), I've found that I've lost all passion for programming. Since my education background is in computer science and digital communications (focusing on user interfaces and experience), it's natural that the entry level jobs are related to those fields.

I'm currently looking for career opportunities, however the majority of entry level jobs require a technical assessment (algorithms and low level concepts) on areas that is not my expertise (my expertise is in UI/UX), even though these openings are on UI/UX. Furthermore, it seems like employers would prefer hiring graduates in business management for business/management related jobs as opposed to someone in computer science.

So I feel I've come to an impasse, where entry UI/UX development jobs aren't hiring me because of my lack in algorithm/low level knowledge (which you don't even need for the job), and that they don't want to hire a comp sci graduate for business/management related position.

After writing this, I've realized how stupid and pathetic I sound and I should delete this thread. The rational me says "Just shut the fuck up and get your shit together". I'm not insinuating that I'm the only one feeling like this (as I'm very sure everyone has moments like this). However this stress, coupled with my near-broke financial and personal situation feels like a time bomb.

So my question is, how do you deal with it?

I just needed to rant. Thanks for reading.

 

Thanks for your input, and you're right. I've just got to pick a direction, plan on how to get there, and get through to it.

 

first step is to pick the direction
there's many different ways to get there, and it doesn't really matter how you get there. it's your long term goal and once you achieve it, you'll get your inner satisfaction

during that time, i'm sure there's a few slight detours - but that's normal
as long as it's there in your mind, you will get there =)

sometimes a mini break is what u need (but somehow i feel i need quite a few of them...)

 

i feel like a quarter life crisis on a relationship alone so hopefully you don't have any relationship crsis to add to this >.<

 

Here was my original game plan on reaching VP of R&D or an equivalent position;

System administrator -> Programmer -> R&D Project manager -> Directer of R&D -> VP of R&D

That particular path was the same path my father took to reach VP of R&D, and initially, R&D operations management was what I thought I wanted to do. I've got administration and programming experience, so the next step would be project management, which is what I'm currently trying to learn on my own (since employers aren't selecting me as a candidate currently).

However, looking back at my education background (computer science and digital communications, focusing on UI/UX) as well as my experience in the business end of projects (as well as owning a part-time consulting business of my own), the end goal of CIO or CTO seems more appropriate:

System administration -> Business analyst -> Manager of business applications -> Director of business applications -> CTO or CIO

Looking at this, it's not too late to branch over to BA. Now the next step I've got to do is figure out the requirements for BA, how to stand out from industrial engineering candidates, Biz/mgmt candidates, and why my current qualifications don't fit their requirements.

Yea relationship crises are definitely rough.. Hope that'll ease up on you soon dude. But you know how they say "the grass is greener on the other side"? I would be lying if I said relationships (or rather the lack of) doesn't occasionally get to me. Though I enjoy celibacy for the time being (more time to focus on career), there are those moments where I envy those who are in one.

 

Thanks, writing it out (and your opinions) is surprisingly therapeutic and helps organize my thoughts lol

 

Good luck with your career man. I graduated also from computer science, but I focused more on databases and networking. I experienced the exact same thing, like i was kinda stucked in my life, so I decided to expand a little bit my scope starting from an MBA, learned a bit of SAP, ABAP, ERP and CRM systems and even learned one more language(spanish). I did all these while I was working as a database assistant till I got a DBA position. And now I'm planning to open my own software company and hopefully start doing some good business.

My advice is that don't feel down or lost, try to find a new focus and goal in your life. You already got the skills now try to give them a different approach or complement them with new knowledge.

 

Thanks! Where did you get your MBA? I've been considering enrolling to an MBA school after having the funds to do so haha.

and good luck with your business venture! Sounds exciting lol

 

I got it from Tsinghua University in Beijing, not the best one for sure, but since I got a scholarship there then I just went for it. Like you, I was saving for that (wasn't going to ask my parents for money) but then I apply for it and surprisingly I got it.

But in your case it'll depend where do you live and also your budget i guess. I've heard that some online MBAs are also good.

 

good work Dan! you have it all planned out =)
just take the opportunities as they come, and the experience that comes with it is most valuable

 

My obstacle right now is..... my only course before graduating.... a second year stats course.... I barely survived calculus and I'm dying in this one. I'm asian but I'm not made for math related tings.

 

so computer science guys only have to take one calculus?

 

Not sure about it...I took Calculus I and II

 

I'm doing a double major (CS and Digital Communications), as opposed to a CS specialization. CS specialist need to take Calc 1 and 2, whereas CS majors only take 1. I figured this double major choice provides me with a better foothold on UI/UX designs, as the Digital Communications program offers courses on the UX design of things, and CS provides the know how to implement it.

 

Well, in the working world, it's who you know that's gonna get you in the door. It's NOT your degrees. Why do people compete to attend Harvard or Stanford? I can tell you that it's not because these schools offer a better quality education than other universities out there, it's the connections. Stanford grads get into most companies of their choice regardless of their experience and degree because the top execs are usually Stanford alums. The competitiveness of getting into these schools made them elite (marketing tactic). It doesn't mean Stanford or Harvard grads are smarter than the average students out there. Why? Through family legacies. Stanford, Harvard, Princeton (I know for sure) guaranteed to take a very close look at applicants who are children of alums. Not sure if the stat is public; however, 60% of legacies applicants get admitted into these schools. Then, the breakdown to diversity where Hispanics and African Americans granted admission priority with lower baselines comparing to Whites and Asians to retain governmental funding. Then, royalties treatment to international applicants from "powered" families - high tuitions means $$$ and notoriety all by itself across the globe. Hopefully, that offers some comfort to why you didn't get the job. Ways to build up your connections that will guarantee you opportunities into a good company is to attend church services in a good neighborhood, social gatherings (not typical bar/lounge, but country clubs where you pay hefty membership fees), and hang around at the parks in "wealthy" neighborhoods.

Perhaps what I am gonna say next isn't what you want to hear. From personal experience, I think you shouldn't try so hard to look for a job that you like or want but accept any offer that comes your way. Based on my self reflection (I am too old ..sigh), I find it silly that people set goals in their lives. I am not saying it's wrong. Having set goals will keep one motivated and committed to achieving it/them; however, setting goals may mean lots of sacrifices and probably blindness to others better opportunities along the way. (solid oak tree vs bamboo tree pounded by wind)

With that being said, my suggestion to you is to do what you love and enjoy; go along with where life takes you (may find opportunities you never thought of/about); rather than finding ways to get to the top jobs. Being on top doesn't mean success anyway. Don't put a box around yourself by setting goals.

 

Thanks for your opinion. There's no such thing as "this is not what you want to hear" for me. If people don't want to hear something, they're just hiding from potentially useful information.

For entry level programming jobs, most employers need to hire a bunch of [as higher management would say] "lab rats". These are type of employees who do nothing but compute problems and implement solutions. See, I can't get these jobs, nor do I like these jobs. I've been accused of not having the personality for the job (by that, they mean the stereotypical programmer personality). I have a client facing personality, which narrows down the offers I can get in a developer position (i.e. I'm not getting offers to begin with); which is why I'm considering a goal/career direction change.

Secondly, it's interesting that you pointed out that having goals is limiting oneself. Let me put it out there: I am not arguing against that particular school of thought, nor am I arguing for it. We are human beings. There are a few billion of us on this Earth. We all have different personalities. Some personalities are more efficient and more productive by not having goals and freestyling. Others need to plan, need to strategies, need to set goals to be efficient and productive. It's just how some work, and others work. There is NOT one way of doing things.

If I run a department, and find that method A makes my employee more efficient and productive, despite the fact that I believe in method B, then so be it. I'm not going to enforce my preference over anyone. But that does NOT mean that I believe method A to be wrong. It's just how people prefer to work.

Lastly, just to defend my preference that goals do help those who work best with goals, setting a goal does not mean that it is an absolute, in that you are blind to everything else in order to reach that goal. Initially my goal was to reach a position of R&D department management. Obviously, my goal has changed, as I believe that another path is more suitable for me. Does that show that I'm restricted in a box? Not at all.

To me, the purpose of setting goals isn't to keep me motivated and committed. The reason why I have goals is to strategize and plan. When decisions need to be made, I would have contingencies ready, and that I am not unprepared when a problem arises. To me, being prepared for majority of problems by having plans is more satisfying than than the freedom of not having goals.

Again, this is all about personality. You prefer not having goals and take it as it comes, I prefer having goals, and plan my life. Check out MBTI.

There is no wrong way. I don't disagree with what you said, I simply disagree with people saying that a method is right or wrong.

 

I applied for a ton of jobs, from programming, business analyst, and consultant roles. I didn't even major in Comp Sci, but I did drop out of it. Now, you and I may differ on experiences, but the majority of the companies I've interviewed with, did not ask a single programming related question. The only company that did so was a silicon valley company we love to hate, and I got rejected from. What I've realized is that most companies look at your interpersonal skills. Ultimately, the result of your interview would be based on this question, "Would I have a beer with this guy?"

Just make sure you physically attend your school career fairs. Trust me, sending your resume online is pretty much a guaranteed disappointment. I think as a person with both technical and business skills, you should have no problem finding something in this market. Just make an effort to physically talk to recruiters.