Tell me what you guys think. Brief background info: I'm a BBC girl going out with caucasian guy The first time I was dating him, I told my mum and she seemed to be okay about it until she was taunting me with little things. i.e. watching a documentary and remarking on how 'ugly' mixed babies were, telling me I didn't have a future when I wanted to look at palm reading books & she always on the phone to her mates sighing and moaning about my lovelife. Her actions put pressure on me and she said if i dated a japanese guy, it wouldn't be as bad. I broke up with boyfriend because this caused countless arguments. A year later, i'd been dating him again 3 months behind mother's back and finally told her today, again. She told me not to date him (x2) and date a chinese guy. Then she referred to negative stories of other interracial couples she knew, stories of infidelity - the asian always gets hurt. Looking back, I told her about my relationship yet I did not defend my man. I think I'm struggling to confront her because I'm afraid of being disowned but not fighting for my relationship would mean I'm giving up potentially a lifetime's happiness. Boyfriend feels like breaking up because I am a coward. I don't know how to approach my own mother w/o a bad outcome =/
well, how old are you? If you're old enough, you should know if the guy is right for you. I think "mixed" babies are awesome. Anyway, you have to prove to your mom that the guy you're dating have some asian values, or else it will be hard to get along.
lol yo momma doesn't know what she's talking about. Mixed chinese/caucasian babies are the cutest. I'd have to say that atleast 80% of the mixed asians out there i've seen are super hot, including yours truly (H) oor, just look at this dapper fellow, who is half asian: anyway, she's pretty close minded considering that she's living in a European country...
lol, just tell your mom to be thankful you're not dating one of these fine gentlemen: Anyway, it also kind of falls upon your boyfriend to try to win your parents over. My girlfriend's parents are hardcore viet and even being half chinese i'm having trouble adjusting around them. But im trying to learn a few phrases and be polite and stuff. If your boyfriend is giving you major flack for listening to your parents then maybe he's not worth keeping, its as much his job to help you work through this.
I wish your mum getting more open. It is important that you feel happy and be loved, no matter he is a Chinese or else. If you think you find a good man, don't give up. Think about he is your partner not your mum's. Stand up, but try to avoid war with your mother. What about your father? Can he help? Try to show your parents your boyfriend is nice. Good luck.
how about these fine gentlemen? it goes both ways if your going to represent people with extremes, until the world can see people as individuals there will always be prejudice and racism. @ OP back in the day you married who your parents told you to marry, now its changed, i would like to have some influence in who my own kids marry if the time comes but this can be a tricky situation, marry and lose your family or follow your parents advise and lose a potential partner, you can always hope they grow to like him, more exposure to the family may help. its kinda different for every person.
I am Filipino-American (Filipino/irish) but I don't like the idea that I am mixed. There are draw-backs when you are a minority, it is a lot worse than being black. Can't even speak Tagalog or find friends or date who are pinoy.
Thanks for everyone's input & support here^^ It's much appreciated. (Better late than never eh?) @DKNY, when I posted this I was 20. @Leo215cat, my dad just told me to knuckle down on my studies & just try to get along with my mum. Hell no, he wasn't getting himself in this cat fight lol. @Master_g, Fearless, I'm sure my mum would raise several eyebrows haha. Also, I hope the comments didn't cause offence. For more context, I was halfway in University but was still living with parents. For me to start a thread at 06:47am I was in a bad way. I was stressed & losing sleep over it. I just needed some sort of reassurance that my mum's unfair prejudice would die down. Eventually it did and she became more open minded and accepting. Bf and mum got along! The End. ...NOT. As it turns out, mother became nicer & accepting whereas the bf *became* a royal asswipe. Three years later, I ditched the rose tinted spectacles and I ditched him. If I learnt anything from this, it would be work out who is the person you're dating regardless of them being black, white, yellow, radioactive green etc. Asking yourself if you're "happy" with him really isn't enough. How a partner treats others and in particular treat the opposite sex is very telling because you could be next in line. Secondly, family & friends are forever. They will be with you in the good times and help you push through the tough times. If your loved ones really love you and respect you, they'll accept your decision in time
o yeah i had been through this shit alrdy.......i never dated a chinese girl in my life, i totally know how it feels to be those situations.
Parents sometimes know what may work out better (cause they had experienced what worked and what they would have liked to do if they were younger). This is benefit of hindsight. They are not always right but they are right too many times and are right again. Shocking ah. For anyone else some love may be as short as one night stand, family is never a one night stand but a life long commitment... and consistently true for "till death do us part"! I don't think colour is much an issue compared with forbearance and commitment. But in the current generation of people not coping even with Amazon packaging and need to pay more money for "frustration free" packaging I don't have much hope for many loving relationship lasting longing than the packaging of what is instant frustration free packaged love.
one question, what is BBC female? BBC? anyways, i am Chinese and i feel kinda sad to hear that from you. I mean come on.... dating a white guy over a chinese guy.... no wonder we chinese guys dont seem to have a girlfriend because many of the asian females go for white beaches. oh well, gl with that -__-
BBC= British Born Chinese, CBC = Chinese Born Chinese , BBB= British Born British, CBB = Chinese Born British. The colour thing is one of multiplicity of factors. Statistically my experience is White male goes with Asian girl and black girl, however it is rare to see an Asian male with a white or black girl. However there are plenty of girls around, however it is hard when one has too many preferential parameters.
IMHO, best to avoid Asian girls (and boys) who has an expectation to be a bit better always, like, that dim sum is a bit cold, that char siu is a bit fat, that film is not as good as, so and so got a better car, me me me, as a matter of principle , as a matter of fact person.. life long living with such a person is very tiresome for that little bit better. It is much happier to be with someone simple, not the sharpest mind that remembers every petty detail, easy going and laissez faire.
