something is holding him back

Discussion in 'Love and Relationships' started by smallrinilady, Jan 28, 2007.

  1. smallrinilady

    smallrinilady Well-Known Member

    so there is this guy who i like but we're having some issues

    i also started teh thread "big brother stepping in"

    anyways, there is this guy i met about a year and a half ago, via a REALLY close friend (his older brother)
    this is all at college
    big brother graduates, younger brother starts up
    i be a good friend and watch over his younger brother for him


    . . .

    time passes, the younger brother starts liking me
    i freak out for a little while, but then start liking him too

    we talked so much about the future that i swear that if we got hitched thevery next day, we already had our whole future planned

    we hang out ALOT
    9 months pass
    all our friends in our college town think we are dating
    he neither denies it or promotes it

    he keeps going through these waves
    calling me alot, seeing me alot
    than suddenly it drops
    doesn't cal me at all, doesn't make any effort to see me

    it's like a ratio of 5:2
    so for 5 weeks, things go great, then 2 weeks, everything goes to hell
    and i freak out
    but then i learned this pattern

    so i get use to it
    maybe he wants alone time
    i mean we still talk, so i KNOW he's not seeing any other girls
    i know he's not lying, because talking with other friends, what he says he is doing is fact,

    i mean this isn't cool
    like 80% of the people i talk to tell me toforget about him
    but i can't, because i really like him
    and i can actually see a future with this guy
    you know that you have that dream guy, the guy who has this quality, that personality, this goal, that drive blah blah blha
    he fits into that profile almost 100%, (and honestly i have a REALLY pickly list of things)
    he is loyal, he loves kids, he is smart, he is funny . . ..

    so does he even like me? that has a question i've been asked?
    he has NEVER kissed me (but he has had a gf before)
    in fact, when i lean up against me, he sometime freaks out
    and sometimes he acts just plain mean (but people think it's kinda like trying to get me to pay attention to him)

    he's also given me the pin to both of this bank accounts
    he pays for all dinners lunch and grocery store trips we go on (but he doens't do that for ANYONE else)
    and although he may talk to his two best friends more than me, he talks to me about more personal issues
    we can talk about ANYTHING, and talk about EVERYTHING
    EXCEPT when it comes to the issue of "US"

    but it's been over a year now
    we're still not together
    . .. .
    my friends are worried about me
    the fact that i wont dont even give any other guys a chance, becuase i'm holding out for this guy
    who seems like he may never come around

    what doyou guys think?
     
  2. kdotc

    kdotc 안녕하세요빅뱅K-Dragon입니다

    u made 2 threads? !!!!
     
  3. eason41

    eason41 Well-Known Member

    246
    41
    0
    He gave u his pin, did he give u a card with your name on it, that means itz a joint account; if he overdraws you're in big trouble. Pin cant really do much without a card. He can easily change the pin and if u dont have a card with your name on it, u can only deposit and withdraw money from the ATM 300>
    P.S. Sorry if my post wasnt helpful, it was posted bcuz I work at a bank lol.
     
  4. could it be the fact that you're older than him and he feels embarrassed about it. Scared his friends might even laugh at him.. o_O;
     
  5. chabunky2000

    chabunky2000 Well-Known Member

    235
    41
    0
    If I was you, I would ask him up front. You know? Life is very precious. So don't waste your valuable time dangling around and be sorry later. The reason I say this is because my second sister has been in this situation before. One day my sis can't stand it anymore. So she finally asked her bf. Her bf said, "I don't want to get marry, b/c I wanted to be single. I enjoyed the life that I had right now." To me, what kind of stupid excuse is that? My sis was so down for almost a year. Luckily, she met a real guy, who really cared for her. I feel very happy for my sis. So my suggestion is talk to him about what you are feeling inside. Hiding it inside your heart is very painful for you. Just like one of the Chinese saying, long term pain is worst than short term pain:) Hopefully you understand what I mean. Good luck!
     
  6. "I don't want to get marry, b/c I wanted to be single. I enjoyed the life that I had right now."

    lol wtf?? wait so your sis asked him to marry her??
     
  7. smallrinilady

    smallrinilady Well-Known Member

    no joint account
    no it's that he's got his debt cards which he uses for regular purchases
    than he gave me the pins for both of this debt cards
    so i could use them

    when i mean use it, i mean, i can take his wallet
    take it out
    go to a store
    and use it

    this is a trust issue right? he trusts me enough
     
  8. smallrinilady

    smallrinilady Well-Known Member


    i'm to chicken
    i'm the girl, i can't do this,
    i just dont have to guts
    wahhhhhhh
     
  9. smallrinilady

    smallrinilady Well-Known Member

    yeah i've wondered that one before

    wouldn't be get over that (over time) if they really like the person?
     
  10. same situation happened to a close friend of mine. and my close friend confessed to the other dude. and now theyre together.

    do the same. in situations like this, i think the girl should make the first move. because he is younger, he may be timid to ask. the easiest way is to clear everything up, and ask him straight up.
     
  11. Maybe he jus sees you a big sisterly figure and wants to do everything to repay you for looking after him... or maybe it's the big brother who's really behind it all..
     
  12. korx

    korx Well-Known Member

    219
    41
    0
    your in college and you type like this?!?-nono
     
  13. It's quite structured for a forum.

    you're in middle school cause you like to use this?!?!?!?!?!?! -smiley face
     
  14. smallrinilady

    smallrinilady Well-Known Member

    i think the big brother is behind alot of this
    BUT i think it's starting to affect his judgment too
     
  15. ^ agreed.
     
  16. agree with who?? choose wisely dann!! -devil -lol

    oh maybe big brother knows you're bad news and doesn't want his lil bro to fall for you.. or maybe big bro actually likes you and wants lil bro to know all about you...

    damn.. Pick which thread you want the comments on.. cuz this is gettin.. hard.. weird.. and confusing.. -confused
     
  17. smallrinilady

    smallrinilady Well-Known Member

    sorry

    the brother has his own gf that he is living with, and planninf a future with, so i doubt that be thecase
     
  18. oh crap, the agree was meant to the comment ecko said in replies to korx.
     
  19. smallrinilady

    smallrinilady Well-Known Member

    oh, english is my WORST subject
     
  20. ok.. but the big brother is gettin' in the way.. so from your last post.. he probably does feel his lil bro shouldn't be with you... wait back up for a moment..

    Do you really see the guy to be bf material?? or do you jus started liking him cuz you get to take care of him and he listens to you.. and you guys have fun hanging out..? I mean the guy is 19...

    Now.. you can be direct.. take the lil brother away. Which might cause chaos in the family where the two brothers are fighting over you. Or find somebody else.. not saying it will turn out that bad if you actually hook up with the guy.

    So... I think you're pretty the one who's gonna have to act on the situation as it seems the guy dunno what he wants to do. Either you persuade him to hook up with you.. or you talk to him about it and see how he really feels..
    and about his friends.. how do you know they know about you? and what does he refer to you as when he talks to his friends??