I've recently seen a lot of threads about shy guys who just don't know how to approach a girl. And decided to start this one for everyone who seems to be having a problem with this. So post here, your success and maybe other's can take after you. here's one of my own. nothing special. just a first for me. A friend and I went to Abercrombie so he could get his interview. We got there a bit late and it was over. The good side of that is the girl that works there is pretty cute. It's costumary to say Hi to a costumer and smile at them, but while she was telling me friend about the interview (we're complete strangers to her) she kept glancing over at me(which i found very attractive) and I sort of noticed it. Later we went around the stores and then the foodcourt, where he sat down to fill out some applications for various other stores. I was hungry so I went to get some food, when I went back to our table and started eating, I noticed her going to a table near our's. At first I was hesitant and sort of nervous. Dude let me tell you, my heart was thumpin and my foot was shaking like crazy. But I grabbed a mint (highly suggested before making an approach) and went up to her. I politely asked if she minds me sitting there and asking her some questions. I asked her a few questions about working at Abercrombie. She filled me in on the details. Then we started to sidetrack and found out a bit about each other. A very nice and mature woman (my type hehe). Later I asked for her number (she smiled when I did, and she probably expected it and knew my motives hehe). Well gentlemen, that's how it's done. Find something to start a conversation, a mint, and a some confidence. --goodluck-rockon
heh good story so what happened after? did you call her back Anyways my tip would be to try practicing talking to girls who you're not really interested in, but like still flirt with them and maybe get their number. This way it takes the pressure off you and gives you enough practice. By the time you find a person you are interested in, you should be confident and have had enough practice and not get nervous.
yoitztrong nice but i think u just lucky into this situation it show u not that shy. BUt this is still lucky. *FIrst u got a chance beczu she work in Abercombie. *czu u have chance to talk with her czu u with a friend to intereview *she found you attractive. so she probably more interest on u.. *Lastly u meet her again in the foodcourt not everyone have this chance. so this is not a guide, more like a modern fairytale story.
heh you're probably right. i am attractive. just kidding. anyway, the way i see it, you observe, find and opportunity, and take it. btw i'm not saying my story is a guide. i'm just hoping someone could get the best out of it. i'm counting on you guys to put up some tips and tricks. lol kdotc, i didn't take out a phone and snap a pic of her.
well just because u got her phone number doesn't mean anything. i gotton so many number from girls, but they all end up wanting to be friends. just because u got a number, doesn't mean she will like u in the way of a GF. its a start, but sometimes u think she wants you, doesn't mean she does. trust me, i made so many mistakes with the phone number thing. I always call them back, but they never want to hang out. if we see each other they \say hi and that all. maybe i'm a chickrelector. other than that, don't get so happy just becasue u got a number.
whoa melrose, i didn't say i want to marry her. i'm just trying to help people learn proper techniques for approaching girls. and it's just a phone number, i didn't say i want to go out with her. maybe get to know her, besides if we do become friends, i get discounts at abercrombie shabang! no loses here. Oh btw, I haven't called her sooo, there ya go. hey any girls reading this thread? might as well give us some tips on how you'd like to be approached.
well this is only ur perspective ur technique the title makes it soudn like this is the only way to do it if u want to approach a girl
call her but today is Valetine's day.. First u dont know if she got a BF or not.. Call her up asking what u doing on valetine's day? ask her "hmm r u going out tonight?" if she say "NO" then u ask "How come don't u got a BF" if she say "no" then u in lucky.. u know waht to do after that.
I don't know how you intend to help people learn proper techniques when I saw nothing proper about what you did. Besides the luck aznmask told you about, you made crucial mistakes. If it was some hot girl you were attracted to that wasn't attracted to you yet, then I can almost guarantee a crash n burn. Only useful step that I agree with is to have a mint before you approach. Don't see mistakes? Here are a couple of the more obvious ones... 1) You didn't make a move the first time you saw her. Especially since you noticed her checking you out, you should have said something to make her laugh or blush (which also breaks the ice while giving you control over the situation). 2) You asked her questions about her work. How boring is that? If she wasn't already interested, she would have given you 1 word answers and blew you off because you asked the same questions every other guy would (no originality or uniqueness about you). You got her number, props to ya. I just had to comment because the only guide I saw was a typical approach that fails 98 out of 100 times.
aren't u guys being a little harsh on the guy? he's just giving out a suggestion. there is no clear cut way to approach a girl. every girl is different in their liking. one technique i do not recommend is ignoring the girl. this guy i used to like completely ignored me and when he did talk to me, he was pretty much a jerk. when he finally did do something about it, i was already with someone else. and let me tell u guys, when he made his feelings clear i thought he had finally lost his marbles and had gone insane. he had to convince me that he really did like me and that it wasn't just some mean joke. so i guess a smile to the girl would help.
^^ you guys are too harsh, i don't think the OP intended this thread to be a "one and only guide to approaching girls". I think it was more intended for people to put down some tips or tell us stories that might relate to this topic. Hopefully we can get some veterans into this thread and post up some tips for shy people, with so many threads about approaching girls/guys recently i'm sure any contribution would be greatly appreciated.
Then he shouldn't have called the thread "the guide". Guys are suppose to be direct to other guys, it's how we communicate. If we wanted to be pampered and given the "you're so sweet, good try, better luck next time" type of floofy comments, we'd ask girls. I've given my tips on numerous threads. Every shy guy wants a quick fix, a "just tell me what to say or do in this situation" answer and expect to land the perfect 10s. I don't encourage quick fixes because 1, they don't work, and 2, it doesn't really help the person down the road even if the line did work. I'm starting to believe that people don't think what I say to be credible, so they do what they do, yet they end up with no girl and whine about it... hmmm... oh well, their loss, not mine. Anyways, that's why I've stopped commenting to more and more of those type of threads.
give the guy a break! he's just trying to do his part to help. sure, the title is a little misleading; but hey, look at it this way ... it got all of us here reading about it, didn't it?
i would change the title to be "How to approach a girl (the Game)" .. haha i don't mean it is some sort of video game (if only it was that simple) lol. no no .. most of the guys/gals who posted here are way to harsh on yoitztrong. give our brother some breathing space. i think of approaching a girl is like a game ... try to make her notice you and make her laugh. be confident and cheerful. smile. and like a game, sometimes you lose and sometimes you win. don't let that bother you and as long as you learn from your mistakes ... keep on trying and soon you will be beating the 'game'. haha .. but i really dislike the term "don't hate the player, hate the game" << not associated with that statement at all. -nono
Thank you for those people who realized my intentions. I also don't think those statements made were harsh, I mean they're actually pretty good. That's the kind of stuff I want from this thread and it's readers. I'll admit I'm pretty much a shy guy. That was actually my first time going over to a girl, start up a conversation, and then leave with her number. I APOLOGIZE ABOUT MY MISUSE OF THE TERM GUIDE. maybe tips and tricks would have been better. I find direct eye contact to be pretty attractive. I expect females to feel the same. So I guess while you're talking to a girl, look her DEAD in the eyes. Oh, and talking about the job was just to find something in common to talk about. Uniqueness? how about this "Hi, I was sitting over there and I couldn't help but notice you make me want to EXPLODE in my pants." AVANT, how about a few ice breakers hmm?
Eye contact is an awesome one, good job catching on to that. Hard for shy guys to get down though, but it's actually a good place to start to build your own confidence because if you make the right kind of eye contact, you can even make outgoing girls timid. "Hi, I was sitting over there and I couldn't help but notice you make me want to EXPLODE in my pants"... Um... No. Makes you sound like you're either desperate, or only want sex. "few ice breakers"... these are exactly the "quick fixes" that everyone keeps asking for. You've heard people say go with the flow, which in my opinion is a really hard concept to grasp if you have no idea how to flow to begin with. However, you do need to adapt to the situation because if you don't, you may come off as giving a typical pick up line (and you should know pick up lines don't work)... Of course, you still need to find ways to start conversations, just don't expect a line to magically make a girl fall for you. So in a situation such as yours, I find that calling the girl out on their behavior isn't too difficult for shy guys. So when that girl started to look at you again and again, say "Hey now... ... ... eyes up here ... ... ... I'm not just a piece of meat, you should at least introduce yourself and give me your number like a normal person would" yada yada yada. A general opener is a compliment. Compliment on something OTHER than her body or face. Saying "Awesome Shoes/Purse/Shirt/etc" is 1000x better than "you're hot". Girls love compliments, which is exactly why it should be a rare thing for guys to give out. So you are allowed to give her one compliment in the very very beginning, then almost never give it out again, even when she's practically telling you to. So when some skinny girl asks "Do I look fat in this dress?", you say "Well I didn't really want to say anything..." in a way so that she knows you're joking instead of "No, you look great". There are more ways of course, but you'll have to pay me first -innocent2
My husband and I were friends first. At first glance, I would not have thought I would ever marry him! He is nothing I wanted in a bf/husband! As with all relationships, it takes time and effort. The more you spend time with a girl and listening and talking the better chance you have (if she is willing to spend time with you too!)... I know a lot of guys who are shy. They are in closing in on their 30s and still have no dates. I think it's a confidence thing and taking chances while knowing things might fail...
