something is holding him back

Discussion in 'Love and Relationships' started by smallrinilady, Jan 28, 2007.

  1. surplusletterbox

    surplusletterbox Well-Known Member

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    keep going

    Ignore the complexity of relationship. Keep simple, keep to the basic of what makes an excellent relationship and then have plenty of patience and thick skinned in the months to come. I think this approach may work.
     

  2. lol that's pretty weird I'd say... maybe they know you're so bad.. that they have no other choice.. -lol
     
  3. smallrinilady

    smallrinilady Well-Known Member


    i hope so

    actually i'm not sure
    in the past week
    he made it pretty clear that he likes me
    but he also made it pretty clear he does not want to pursue a relationship

    it doesn't seem to me an issue with me
    but an issue with himself
    or an issue with his brother.

    i dunno, but today something else happened
    to show me that he is most comfortable with me, trusts me so much,
    he runs to me when he has a problems,
    and when he has something very joyous to say
    he chooses me to be the one to share things with



    he has decided not to accept my invitation to hang out today because it is valentines day
    but today is the first time I have talked to him on the phone so many times (multiple calls) in one day in a LONG LONG time

    doesn't he sound confusing
     
  4. smallrinilady

    smallrinilady Well-Known Member

    so what to do now?

    although he feels he may not want to be in a relationship now, maybe that will change later on
    i think i'll stay close by

    but of course I know i can not rely on my hopes 100%
    i wont cling to him like glue
    maybe stepping back(my heart) i will see some other new opportunities

    but leave a tread of hope tied to him, maybe after this whole brother thing blows off he will come back

    i dunno, since not to much has been going on anyways,
    i am going to continue doing the same things with him
    I will still chat with him on the phone, always letting him know I am there for him
    i guess what will be different is what i think and feel inside (to protect myself)
    sorry I have been having discussions and arguments with a few of my friends about "guarding your heart"


    this is all i can think of, i'm not sure what to do
     
  5. surplusletterbox

    surplusletterbox Well-Known Member

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    Pass the days simply and patiently with him, like water dripping into a bucket. There is plenty of time. The chap is a young man, he feels insecure. Pursue a hobby yourself and take some of the anxiety off your shoulders. If things are going to work out between you it shouldn't be dependent on the numbers of meetings and the number of calls. Just keep a steady paste and let events flow naturally. If no valentine, does not matter...always another day!
     
  6. desperate times calls for desperate measures.. time for you to invite him over to your house.. go to your room without him looking.. get butt-nekkid and climb on that glass desk... then have him go in..

    if yall don't come out as a couple.. nothing will...
     
  7. smallrinilady

    smallrinilady Well-Known Member


    eh no . . . .. .



    if anything will happen i mus admit, surplusletterbox's approach is much the only way to go



    wahhhhh, i'm such an impatient person, but i have learned a lot of patients dealing with this situation

    i was talking with my friend yesterday
    she said, of course dont not look for someone else
    but dont entirely give up
    with how much time i've already invested in him, it would be just waste if i gave up now

    give him more time

    sigh
     
  8. lol... damn how long has this thread been going on for??

    waiting will either have you end up like wolf... or maybe not...

    either way.. I hope to hear some shocking about the guy that'll make this all the more interesting...
     
  9. smallrinilady

    smallrinilady Well-Known Member

    hopefully, but i dont think that kind of news will be coming around anytime soon
    as some people have mentioned, this kind of waiting will be in the months, not days



    but i can say i'm very thankful for the support from the members of PA
     
  10. ^ anytime. communities help!
     
  11. surplusletterbox

    surplusletterbox Well-Known Member

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    Good luck!The time that you two had invested is just the beginning! Should any couple worked out in the end there is at least another 50 years of long of winding road! So take it easy day by day, the main thing is to make steady progress in the long trend even if you have set backs on the way! Like I wrote before, if things got a bit tough, take a break and agree to mutually meet again after a period. Remember theis English idiom: "absence makes the heart grows fonder". Yes, this is the approach that I wrote before which was used in the film : "My Sassy Girl".
     
  12. smallrinilady

    smallrinilady Well-Known Member

    heart grows fonder


    but what about
    with absence, you lose touch
     
  13. smallrinilady

    smallrinilady Well-Known Member

    UPDATE

    ~giggle giggle~
    oh my goodness
    i'm absolutely crazy

    so just about a month and a half ago
    i decided to let go of him
    and now
    HOLY COW
    he's clinging to me

    Friday night he tried to come out and see me
    Saturday he came out to see me as SOON as he could finish up his stuff
    spent the whole day on Sunday together
    asked me several times if i still had evening classes on Monday(tonight), just in case for any reason class was canceled he could come over and have me cook dinner for him

    I've been trying to get him to cook me dinner lately, because he's starting to learn to cook
    so we played a game yesterday, and he said who ever loses has to cook dinner on Wednesday, (I often invite him over on Wendesdays because he has the car on those days) but it's a whole different feel when i dont have to come up with some dumb excuse to get him to come, and instead he's the one mentioning he wants to come over
    ~giggle~

    than later that evening he was thinking, (oh by the way he lost the game), he said, "if i'm going to cook dinner, maybe i should do it on thursday instead, since i get out to late on wendesday, if i cook thursday, that means i could have more time to prepare" (since his classes let out early). Oh but doesn't mean he's still not coming on wendesday

    he keeps using excuses
    1) wants to be out of the house to not listen to his brother and the gf bickering
    2) wants to be out of the house just to not listen to gf acting so fake all the time
    3) wants to eat my cooking (which i love to cook, so i dun mind)
    4) wants to come over and play Wii since i have one (which is funny becuase he use to refuse to play it)

    i use to think that maybe he would just come over to get out of the house,
    but it more seem like he's using these excuses to come see me
    ~giggle~

    oh my goodness, if you saw me now
    i can't stop bouncing with joy
     
    #113 smallrinilady, Mar 5, 2007
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2007
  14. oh so this was the update you were talking about...

    GOOD JOB! hahahaha
     
  15. reno

    reno Well-Known Member

    congrats! =)

    well somehow it always seems that wen sum1 starts to show less interest, the other party always starts panicking and does something u want =) hehehe
     
  16. DC003

    DC003 Active Member

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    how can a path be forged when both parties are blind? I really don't know...somehow it's telling me someone's heading towards a collision at some point. That's the good news....I just hope no one has fallen over the cliff yet.
     
  17. zensunnidx

    zensunnidx New Member

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  18. skid

    skid Well-Known Member

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    nice
    can i come over and play the Wii too ?? haha jk
     
  19. smallrinilady

    smallrinilady Well-Known Member



    huh? i'm so confused
    what are you trying to say