Asian married asians or... asians married with "gwai loo's "

Discussion in 'Love and Relationships' started by cybertsang, Mar 4, 2007.

  1. sansan_55

    sansan_55 Member

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    Be prepared, he's in for your TV.
     
  2. Totte

    Totte Active Member

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    Some people need to wake up...

    I'm son to a Japanese woman married to a Swedish man.
    I consider myself a Swede since I was born and raised here.
    I am going to marry a Chinese woman, with a Korean heritage.

    My older brother (Japanese) is married to a Swedish woman. They have adopted a boy from Bolivia.

    The family still lives on...

    This kind of talk some people use, like "we only marry *our* people", is just BS...

    The family still lives on...
    Your brain does not make this choice. Or your family, even though they really want to do it (arranged marriage).
    Your heart does.

    The family still lives on...
     
  3. haobuhao

    haobuhao Well-Known Member

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    i think you will never be happy. true love comes along a few times and I would hate to miss out on it because we were differnt races
     
  4. You guys ought to take Sociology classes.

    You learn that the reason why there are interracial marriages is not because it just happens randomly, or automatically, it happens due to the social surrounding that goes around you.

    The social aspect/environment you live in influences who you marry.

    To keep it short, living in a multicultural country will reduce the social distances between the individuals involved. because that distance is shorter, you are more likely to marry someone outside your race.

    But that doesnt happen to EVERYONE. it happens to most.

    Another factor is the tolerance and the open acceptance of foreign cultures.

    In other countries like China, due to the low numbers of foreign presence, people will tend to marry within their country, as opposed to countries like canada.

    In fact, i did a presentation yesterday on this topic, and remember my TA telling me i got perfect. and it doesnt happen usually that a TA tells you right after a presentation lol you had to wait for the results
     
  5. sourisso

    sourisso Member

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    im french and my gf is chinese, born in malaysia and living in singapore... we both speak a good english, and actually living together showed us that finally, not much differences... i love singapore, the food (should i say foods), the cost of life cheaper than europe, the "mix" of people, chinese, malay, indian, etc... of course sometimes people look at me with insistance because im white and it can be boring, but well, i forget it quickly...

    now, of course, my gf is living in singapore, she spent a year in florida, she is working in a french company, all that make her "opened", and it wouldn't be the same if she was a chinese living in deep china, without knowing english... of course in that case it wouldn't make much sense..
    but it ain't the case, and in our situation, the nationality diff does not create much differences between us than if she would be italian or someth...
    i learned few days ago that my best childhood friend, has a chinese gf too and he's now living in HK with her... so, now, with lot of chinese students going to europe or states for studies, with the business contacts growing, it creates more meetings, more love affairs, and less differences, more open minds... when it works between 2 people, it simply works, that's all.

    now, in 2007, to read or hear stuff like "keeping the blood pure", "half human" it's shocking and kinda out of date, especially coming from young people, but well. not all the people are opened, some doesnt know much about the rest of the world, out of their country. well, they"ll just miss a lot of what life can bring.
    all can i say is, you can't ask people to respect you if you don't respect them... you name "half human" a guy from netherlands, then don't complain if a white guy make fun of you 'cause you're chinese.
    be open, relax, humble, we're all coming from monkeys, we ain't that different, we'll all end 6 feet deep, don't find excuses to be racist hiding yourself behind that expression "culture differences".

    sometimes, life makes that you gonna meet people coming from a different background, a different region of the world, i love that. talk to that person, come to know that person, even just a bit, you'll see maybe, both of you are not that different. i love seeing chinese people in my little town in france, i love to see the diversity of the world, when i take the bus, when i watch tv, when i eat, when i meet people, thanks god, we ain't all the same, it would be so horribly boring and unsurprising. not all the people are like me, but well, it's not a reason to change.

    if it works for you with a white girl, if you are white and it works for you with a chinese, well, enjoy it, it's a luck !
    don't be scared how the baby will looks like, lol... usually "mix" between white and yellow people gives beautiful people.
     
    #25 sourisso, Mar 10, 2007
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2007
  6. kenshi

    kenshi Well-Known Member

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    Oh my god someone stand up for us!!!

    hmmm asian marrying a gwai lo depends on many things. If people only care about their own happiness then they can marry whoever they want. some people can't speak their own language or are westernized anyway so it wouldn't matter either way haha.
    If people want to preserve their cultural values, language, principles, traditions etc then it better to marry someone with those same things and there's nothing wrong with that especially when you choose to have kids those thing are likely to disappear when you have parents from different cultures because they will lack exposure.
    The differences I notice between Asians and Westerner cultures in making choices in general - we tend to makes choices to what we think is the wellbeing of family as well and not just self happiness alone, so likewise in choosing lovers (try to at least in that respect). Nothing wrong with that.

    Personally I love being Chinese so I'd marry a Chinese so that my children know about it too when they grow up in a western culture, they have view of both worlds. Marrying other Asians is fine at least my kid can speak more languages, English will be automatically picked up in school anyway so thats not a concern. Its been proven that people who learn more then one language usually have a higher IQ.
    Also they have the choices of living in more countries and they can still communicate well amongst their family in their culture, you have that stronger family tie and when people have an interracial marriage its likely to be move away from relationships to your culture, especially with relatives overseas, its very hard already as it is when we live overseas far away and family is a very Asian thing that is important enough to consider it.
    I'd want my kids to know who they are where they come from and stay in touch with their roots and they will have a sense of belonging, no identity crisis etc.

    I understand your frustration and you mean well but saying that we hide behind culture is a pure disrespect of who we are, westerners will get upset simply because they don't understand, there is nothing wrong with traditions at all and it never gets out of date because it helps shape our character and we develop from it.
    Don't accuse us of being racist either, we don't treat you any different simply because you are white. Try to learn about us for once and stop expect us to accommodate and drop everything that we are, there are very good things about us! we are not scared of change we just like who we are. If you can see that then you would respect that, you don't seem like you really want to either. If you love your girlfriend then accept it because its who she is.

    Nobody can say that Asian's aren't mixing because there surely more Asian's who can speak English then it is the other way around.
    In rare cases there are westerners who make the effort to learn about us or like to participate in our culture and I respect those ones.

    I noticed these days people don't care about culture anymore or just take it for granted as though its nothing special. Still People can choose what they want for themselves.
    I'm not closed minded, I've traveled to Europe and Asia, interestingly enough I've discovered that the English language didn't get me very far in Europe, French and German would have more useful. Chinese (mandarin) gets you further in Asia more the any other spoken dialect.
     
    #26 kenshi, Mar 10, 2007
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2007
  7. deleted.
     
    #27 Dan, Mar 10, 2007
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2007
  8. kenshi

    kenshi Well-Known Member

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    I've corrected the post the 'western way' was directed at a different aspect not on marriage alone it about personal fulfillment. It the psychology of human behavior and choices influenced by different cultural backgrounds.

    You read my first post before I edited it.

    anyway sociology is can still be something that fails to capture the bigger picture.. I'm talking about awareness and your talking about theory and of course multicultural society allows it silly! thats the whole definition of 'multiculturalism' but then again thats a theory, an idea that not everyone really practices.
     
    #28 kenshi, Mar 10, 2007
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2007
  9. ahaha alright lol ill change mine too then
     
  10. kenshi

    kenshi Well-Known Member

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    haha its ok don't worry about it...
     
  11. Hhahahhaah... don't get with the hak gwai... -nono -nono -lol

    it's kinda hard.. you wanna keep that special part of your history n culture yet you wanna be with the one you love... but I guess it don't really matter as long as you teach your children
     
  12. honey'ko

    honey'ko Member

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    yea..as long as u happy... to be honest..my honey hubby is a white guy..and i am a little chinese girl... ^^
     
  13. sourisso

    sourisso Member

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    well my chinese gf is chinese and i respect that, she tell me a lot about chinese traditions and i respect that, on her side she doesn't know much about europe history and culture, but it's a background. should i say, only a background. the fact is that, we are 2 persons now that we ain't much different. actually she's from singapore. dunno if lots of kids in singapore know much about chinese traditions. it's special, lot of influence from us and stuff. maybe too much u'd say, but well.

    kenshi im not saying that to love traditions and defend them is being racist, i was referring to that term : keeping the blood "pure", and "half human". sorry, doesnt look that respectful to me. u can be proud of what u are and respect other cultures aswell.

    true what u said about english, its good for england, but yet in france we talk french, in germany german, in italy italian, in spain spanish, it's a language for each country and an history for each. you may ask yourself why europe is having problems doing a unity, well it's because every country is different.

    about the languages, for a kid it's easy to learn...can learn mandarin aswell as english... marry a white person doesnt mean you lose all your history..
     
  14. _Nightwish_

    _Nightwish_ Well-Known Member

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    Uhm I think it doesnt matter as long as youre happy like the first person said. Like if you are living in the western part (some parts) thereĀ“re not many asians then you have to be with a non-asian person.
     
  15. razorw

    razorw Well-Known Member

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    At the end of the day, I don't think it'll matter. Some problems/issues are just universal. If other people cant deal with it, that's their prerogative.
     
  16. edmundteh

    edmundteh Well-Known Member

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    in a country where im in, we were brought up to not to be racist (more than 5 race here), but by end of the day, it is still up to an individual....as long as they are happy.
    i, myself would prefer my own race, easy to communicate.
     
  17. kelvatron88

    kelvatron88 Active Member

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    i like this whole half blood, 3/4 blood crap, since there isn't such a thing
     
  18. -Tisken-

    -Tisken- Well-Known Member

    ohhh come on we have 2007! As long as you are happy u can date black or white ppl :D
    but my parents will kill me when i date a black girl >_<
     
  19. Shini_D

    Shini_D Well-Known Member

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    exactly! even if u wna date a huk gwai lo/mui, it isnt happening if your yellow. your parents will do some bruce lee stuff to you, or make a special friend rice out of ya! dnt matta if its 2007, the parents will still kick your ass when it comes to year 3000 if you date a huk gwai lo/mui! lol
     
  20. Marrying a guai loo is much better b/c there kids come out very pretty. Besides, it's how they say opposites attract.