1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. 11. Only in America......can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House. (This was popular when Clinton was in office) God bless America
i like number 10! add.. 12. Only in America......7-Eleven operates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week yet they have locks on their doors.
can I add one my personal favorite 13.Only in America....You cant drink before 21 but you can get married...
random american joke God talking to an angel, says "oh, ive just created the most wonderfull place. You've got to see it! I put wonderous craigs and bays over here, on the east coast, hills and dales. Here, along this river, I'm going to put centers of culture, all along the river, I'll put two languages and watch them arrange a community. I'll put river after stream after lake all through here! It will be glorious and wonderfull! The people will love it. I'll put great spaces of land to farm, and brace it with mountains. Just on this West side of the mountains, i'll put an optimistic and charismatic people, who will shine like a light with natural spaces without equal. To the north here, I'll put a wise and gracefull people, teaming with animals. My humans will love it! I'll call them Canadians." To which, the Angle replies "oh lord, it surely is a thing of wonder. But do you worry they'll become arrogant and mean - with so much blessing, maybe you should spread it around a little more". God then says "Oh, dont worry about that, below this line, I'll fill the place with assholes." @ Casshern dood... dont u live in China? what do you know about this shit
I thought it was 3 of 4 were obese.... How many people remember the 911 Burger King call? I think it's on youtube.
Another random American joke: An American, a Scot and a Canuk were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened. "Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth." He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here." "That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?" "Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his." -rotfl Fu-k you. I'm from Taiwan. Being fat means we're well fed.
oh oh oh i got a joke my guy told me this during the weekend so boating people across the ocean some chinese guy was the first to see the new lands she stood there pointing and shouting "meh lei gah, meih lei gah" (what is that) so they renamed this new land as america
Also I am curious abt the size of the pizza! Is that true they are very big... and u can actually just get a slice and eat it then it will fill you up full?! -unsure
thats a gd 1 lols...dno about here in england...more civilised over here ;P - or at least i hope so lols
