1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count. 2. Real men drive stick shift. 3. I will leave if you lie. 4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts). 5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so. 6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear. 7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look. 8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you (or fearless_fx). 9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her. 10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you. 11. I expect you to call me. 12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants. 13. I'm scared of losing my independence. 14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be. 15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick. 16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.) 17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a. ...having a fat day. b. ...not feeling "connected" to you. c. ...blackmailing you to get something I want. 18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not. 19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it. 20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing. 21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies. 22. You look hot in hooded clothing items. 23. You should never tell me what to do. 24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast. 25. My breasts love much licking and sucking. 26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes. 27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice. 28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead. 29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color. 30. I want to be Madonna. 31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers. 32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand. 33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby. 34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now. 35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving. 36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this. 37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking.... 38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times. 39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself. 40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points. 41. I love it when you're sweaty. 42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas. 43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses. 44. I like porn. 45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands. 46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public. 47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read... 48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat. 49. I remember everything about our relationship. 50. You should know all this and more with-out my telling you. 50 things... damn women are demanding... the average guy only wants three things from a girl - Sex, loyalty and good cooking/ability to order out. -rockon
haha.. very interesting.. but not every women is like that... And some of it applies only if the gal likes the guy. But it is good stuff for man to know
1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count. Female equivalent: saying "I love you" immediately during or after receiving a special order Hermes Birkin doesn't count. 6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear. The chance of having a very happy ending REPEATEDLY just skyrocketed. 7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look. Try to expand your five-word vocabulary -- it will help prevent Alzheimer's. 12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants. ... and leather jackets. 15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick. Christian Louboutin may give you amnesty for nearly everything (except screwing my best friend, do it in my/our bed with someone else or such mortal sin) 18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not. The fact that you know Louboutin from the red sole get extra points. You need not know YOUR shoes, but you better know mine -- and not let your pets ruin them. 21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies. Of course, you can just have a zombie film marathon (which include 28 days later, Shaun of the dead, Resident evil etc) with me for the uf-millionth time. 23. You should never tell me what to do. Despite your fantasies, I'm not your b*tch. 24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast. Or at least a machiato. 26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes. So form a coherent sentence already! 33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby. Unless of course, you: cannot fix my computer, do not have a toned body, are a terrible driver. The last two are WTF for me, no idea why it's sexy. 39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself. Just tell me you are thinking about me, since I'll be scarred for life if you tell me you are thinking about that impossible body position that pornstar who resembles Jessica Alba you saw last night did -- then you just don't need to call me again, EVER. 43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses. And a compliment, if it is at all possible. A succinct "You look wonderful today/tonight" will suffice. I need an ego boost after a tough day. 44. I like porn. Specially those WITHOUT girl-on-girl action =_=b 46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public. But try to be articulate, some things are only meant to be shared among your very macho friends. (see #39 above) 48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat. And you better find a new place if we co-hab right now -- I am keeping the place with the shoe wardrobe. Leave the Egyptian cotton sheets while you are at it, will you? That and the Espresso machine. It is the verbal equivalent of a yawn -- shows disinterest. Plus, we always want to be flattered and when we dish a chance to flatter us at you, you better seize it. Of course, if she doesn't even like the guy, he's out of luck no matter how well he knows woman (in fact, SPECIALLY how well he knows woman... a source of detest)
Hee, never thought for a second that guys would. That's why it's funny and interesting to say those things
Note: Doing everything on the following list still won't be good enough because there will always be something you do or don't do that is unacceptable or makes me feel fat. Therefore, I am only writing this list for other girls to read so we can reinforce our belief that all guys are worthless and the only option we have left is lesbianism. Enjoy! 27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice. 28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead. Her: "Let's get lunch" You: "Okay, where do you want to go?" Her: "I always pick! You need to pick more often!" You: "Well, I could go for some Chinese food." Her: "No." You: "Japanese?" Her: "No. I want Italian, from this particular place. God, you're impossible!" 14. Call for no reason. I think this one belongs on the "50 things girls do that pisses guys off" list. 47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read... Picking out surprise presents is cheating? 50. You should know all this and more with-out my telling you. Because all guys are super-hero mind readers. If I can still talk afterwards, you didn't do your part. Even if we mean it? How's "Excellent, you look like a 50 cent hooker"? But you're not high maintenance or materialistic. Double standards. But it's okay for you to tell us what to do, by making lists like these. And you owe me rent. Sure, as long as I have/am: 1. a hot face 2. a nice body 3. rich 4. any combination of the above mentioned So that's all I have to do to get laid? Sh1t, why haven't I figured that out. Follow these rules if you want to become a pussy-whipped chode who girls walk all over.
25 Things Every Guy Wants Their Girl To Know 1. We think about sex all the time, sometimes every minute of our waking moment. 2. If guys don't mind lifting the toilet seat up to take a leak, then girls should not mind putting the seat down themselves to urinate. 3. There are days when we just don't want to do anything. We just want to lay like a slug on the couch, drink beer, and watch a game; so leave us alone (equivalent to a woman's PMS day off) 4. We shower you with gifts because we love you; it's not your right or a requirement so don't expect it, just appreciate it when you get something. 5. We like oral sex as much as women do; it will get you out of the dog house also when you mess up. 6. When you sleep over, don't wear our favorite dress shirt the next morning, pick something we don't like as much or wear as often. It pisses us off when our favorite shirt gets dirty. 7. Yes, guys do notice when women don't shave their armpits, their legs, and any sort of facial hair that remotely resembles a mustache, and it's a big turnoff. 8. Related to #7, guys either like clean shaven pubes or at least a nicely trimmed one (we are willing to pay for your Brazillian wax). 9. We get turned on when we see our woman cooking for us and it makes us want to do something nice in return. Your best bet to getting us to buy you something. 10. Don't embarrass us in public. Even if we let you be the boss at home, we want face and want you to play the "little women" part in public. Don't hate us for it, look at it as the price to pay to rule at home. 11. We hate it when you storm off during an argument. Why can't you calm down and have a decent reasonable & logical conversation to solve the problem? 12. Our car is our mistress; don't diss it & respect it. 13. Guys LOVE women wearing sexy high heel sandal slips, with smooth legs, in a mini skirt. 14. We love you deeply, we just don't like to say it out loud. 15. Don't ask us how you look, or whether you look fat. Even if we think you do, we won't tell you cuz we want to stay alive. 16. We look at other girls, deal with it; we know you stare at other guys too. 17. We love hair and skin (esp neck) that smells nice. It will guarantee that your neck will get kissed more often. 18. If you're mad or not ok with something, SAY IT. Don't tell us it's "fine." Otherwise we will treat it as such. We're not Jedi knights...we don't know how to play mind games. 19. Don't compare us to your ex-bf's or to other men. 20. We love it when you compliment on how big our "junk" is regardless of it's actual size. Never tell us it's small or name it with anything to do with the idea of small. 21. We can hold out on sex too. We know women also crave it. Besides, we know how to masterbate. 22. Don't nag, don't nag, don't nag, don't nag, don't nag, don't nag. 23. We don't want to know who you've been with in the past. 24. We love it when our girl shows up at work spontaneously dressed to kill and makes all of our collegues jealous. 25. You may think you have us wrapped around your pretty little fingers, but we actually know exactly what you're doing. We let you because we love you. Don't take it for granted. I guess guys are half as demanding as women. I could only come up with 25 things. Feel free to add.
26. Guys like porn. Its not a perversion, its entertainment. 27. Whining is for babies and little children. You might get what you want using it the first couple of times, but eventually your gonna get dumped or punched in the head. 28. Never talk about the guys with nicer cars then the vehicle we own, its like a kick in the chest. 29. Guys don't like overly muscular chicks - abs are fine, but biceps are a no, no. 30. Perfume: apply it, don't bathe in it. 31. It is common male belief that girls do not have flatulence; attempt to maintain this belief atleast until marriage. Guys will try to reciprocate, but we can't make any promises. 32. There is cute and there is annoying, it's a fine line that a girl should know how to navigate.
Its not the lifting up.. its the splattering of urine all over the seat that we hate. Haha.. you just have to blame your narrower vision. We have wider vision, so we dun have to stare. We can see clearly from the corner of our eyes.
And that's why we LIFT the toilet seats up when we urinate. We have a problem with putting the toilet seat down, not putting it up. Haha, perhaps that true. We like to absorb every moment of beauty that we can get. I don't deny that at all.
No matter if it's lifting up or putting down, it's the aftermath we hate. If you admit you are navigationally challenged or willing to ask for directions, that would eliminate one occassion we HAVE to embarrass you for the fear of camping out in the middle of nowhere. Then you better be prepared to give a foot massage before any happy ending, those shoes are killers. We deal well enough until you stare, droll (on our shoes/handbags etc) and walk into a wall or something -- you embarrass us. Oh it's entertainment alright, up to the point when you are mistaken that you live in that world when hot girls walk around in bikinis and do lesbian acts in the middle of the street. Or guys can move to a place with 2 bathrooms.
It's things to know, not things to do. It's how you use this knowledge that separates the "pussy-whipped chode" from the ones with game.
