Here's a classic: Why did the chicken cross the road??? ... To get to the other side. ----------------------------------- Why did the man with one hand cross the road??? ... To get to the second hand shop. ---------------------------------------------------- Why did the skeleton cross the road??? ... To get to the body shop. ---------------------------------------------- A bear and a rabbit are havin a shit in the woods... The bear turns to the rabbit and says "Excuse me, do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur??? The rabbit replies "No" ... So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit ------------------------------------------- This is supposed to be the funniest joke in the world. Researched by scientists... I didnt find it all that funny.... Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?" ------------------------------------------------------------
and the 2 hunters in the wood joke, had me laughing for a long time well for me it had some racism in it .. so i wont mention it here
A woman enters a bar at the top level of a hotel and sits next to a drunken man. The drunken man looks at her and says: "did you know the beer here is so good it can make you fly?" Woman answers no and ordered a beer. 5 minutes later the man urges her to have another beer so she can try to fly herself and the drunken guy wanted to proof her it is really possible to fly and flies out through the window, circles around the building and comes back. The woman is impressed by this and orders another beer and after she'd drunk her beer she jumped off the window but falls death on the pavement 11th storeys lower. Bartender: "you are such an arsehole when you're drunk Superman!" edit: It's not the greatest joke I've ever heard though! Re: bad baby jokes... How many babies do you need to paint the ceiling red? -As much you can throw them up to the ceiling.
