@hiake?? I believe it is a debate rather than arguing, Jerks versus nice guys. I don;t have much respect for the "useless " guy because I think he is ploting . i..e., strategy to get the girl with mind games on the other hand, if someone dresses nice to attract attention, then it is something else., it has nothing to do with the "mind" I don't think nice guys are what girls want b/c if you look at divorce rates, adultry...etc. it shows that girls are attracted to the jerk and then finds out later on and get a divorce. or they get cheated on and never finds out
i have a relly "nice" bf. before we hook-up, he was a strict vegetarian and goes to temple. He doesnt participate in drinking, smoking, gambling & prostution. He's just "blah..." I love him dont get me wrong but he's just so holistic sometimes it makes me sick of him.. kinda boring and I need a different kinda guy... Maybe a jerk or a player? At least they are more creative & entertaining. I told myself I wanna find another guy and this time he gotta be naughty.... and nice, of course!
@Adrianc: Well, once we got to the divorce, which assumes marriage in the first place, the nice guy vs. jerk comparison steer towards somewhere else (than the comparison in relationships) First, it's not that only guys will cheat, girls will cheat and may lead to divorce also. Then there is the mistaken marriage factor: the two think they will be better off together, then realizing it is a naive thought after some years (trees in the forest perhaps?), then divorce. My take is that nearly everyone will be tempted to commit adultry, because marriage become such a constant and new attraction to the intern can be quite "exciting". Of course it isn't right to cheat. Yet deep down we all want something contradicting: Nice but have evil/creative moments for girls, and sexy yet loyal (it IS contradicting) for guys.
hiake? I thought this thread is for women so I took that perspective. Would a girl choose a jerk or nerd?
I know rationally to look for a nice person, but to me Nice vs. Jerk is more like Nice vs. Average person vs. Jerk. I would prefer average out of the three. It's like asking money vs. love. Most people would prefer somewhere in between. How about you? Nice but average to somewhat ugly girl or bitchy but super hot girl?
hehe. Your right. Given the choice, I would say bitchy but super hot girl (with tons of money) Seriously though, nice but not boring. JK
lol.. I still dun get it.. why do ppl associate jerks with fun and excitement, while nice guys are boring, quiet, uninteresting blah blah...? Nice is just nice. Jerk is just jerk. A jerk can be a boring jerk, which makes even more unwanted. And a nice guy can be really interesting and romantic whatever you want him to be.
Always check your zodiac sign (chinese) ever wonder why you don't like a person even though you don't know him/her well.. it just happens that they are your opposite on the chart... it's much easier to go after someone suited for you in the fortune charts..
@XJ: I guess it has something to do with the aggressiveness of a jerk. Some girls find it intriguing. And no, aggresiveness can gets really annoying at time, jerk or not jerk. My association that "nice" people are boring comes from the fact that nice is the last thing I use to describe a person. If someone's creative and nice, he's a creative person to me (not "nice"), if someone's funny and nice, he's a funny person. Nice is like... the left overs by my definition But yeah, I do agree there are creative and nice or funny and nice guys out there, just that I don't identify them as "nice" but by some other overarching traits. And boring jerk? That's like seventh level of suck.
nice vs jerks ... i think the jerks always win. hence the "nice guys finish lasts". but here's my rationale ... jerks are dangerous and exciting. nice guys are ... nice and boring. i think thats why you find those gangsters look/type are with hot girls and they can treat the girls like trash and yet the girls will not leave. maybe there is some appeal there. whereas nice guys? can't even bring himself to treat the girl bad. the whole guilt thing ...
but what do u people think of "average" person? since i dont have a idea what u can expect of a average person? i think everyone is a bit nicer or a bit more jerk.. there isnt a so called "perfect" guy.. i define "perfect" guy to have everything a bit.. since nice guys and jerk guys both has disadvantage.. and actully if someone has all a little bit he actully should be a "perfect" guy im just thinking in general
Yeah, we've already established that a couple of pages back. The thing is, if you compare nice guys with jerks, a majority of girls will find jerks more fun and interesting, whether nice guys like to believe it or not. A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, "You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired." They don't say "Nice guys finish last" for no reason.
i think that girls in the what lower age look for a more aggresive protecting guy, i dont say nice guys arent strong or whatever. but in the eyes of girls they always think the more aggresive one (jerk) will protect her more then the nice (wont get into a fight easily). but i need the opninion of girls for this... is this true what im saying? -sweat
You totally misread what I was saying.. read carefuly next time or dun bother quoting. haha.. jking.. im not that petty. I think the problem of this discussion is in the definition of nice/jerk... my definition is simple. Nice or jerk is in the way they treat you. Nothing to do with their other characteristics. So based on my own definiton, I will say no to your qn. The jerk may just run off.. making him so much more of a jerk. And the nice guy might jus protect me with his life..
yes but my question was about my definition of a so called jerk (big strong aggresive someone but is cruel to everyone and even sometimes to his girl) and nice guy (less aggresive someone that is nice to everyone, looks like he is less strong since he never fights etc, and in many eyes people wont see him fighting)
^haha.. my ans will still be no based on my definition.. A guy can be nice to a girl and a jerk to everyone else. Vice versa. But I tot the topic of discussion was from the viewpt of a girl in a relationship and hence Im only interested in how the guy treats the gal..
^ well.. not really. Sometime he is nice, sometime not. But nice is not my top priority anyway. So are you Mr Nice or Mr Jerk or Mr Nice Jerk?
