When your partner tells you he needs space and time away from you

Let's say your partner just tells you one day he needs space and time away from you, what's that mean and what to do? Is it totally heading for a break up?

 

it depends in the tone of his/her voice.

 

maybe he's going thru some stuff..

I think there's another thread relating to this..

or maybe he want's to have a 2nd gf... you know what I mean when you read the 2nd boyfriend thread...

 

Hmmm... Sounds like he just wants to think, not really into break up. But break up is still a possibility.

 

Where's the thread? Would wanna read it

 

First of all u gotta b honest to urself and try to analyze de state of ur relationship in an unbiased manner. Is it true that u r spending too much time together? That there's only 'we' and no 'me' anymore? If the relationship is indeed too suffocating, then it's time to take it easy. Even married couple sometimes need some 'alone' time. The amount of time that a couple spend is less important than the quality of it. If ur partner is not happy spendin time with u, then it beats spending time altogether in the first place.
If ur not really spending time that much together anyways, then it's possible ur partner is using it as an excuse to break up.. The gentler way.. In other ways, he's hoping the 'away' time will help u grow out of love with him.
De most important thing u guys gotta b honest n discuss how much time u r really comfortable to spend with each other. Can u do with less? Can he do with more? Compromise

 

That's a good idea... Yea I guess we spend lots of time together. But I think he's pressured that he can't go to his peeps. It's exam week. He needs to balance exams, his games, his friends and me. Kinda tough I guess.

 

You have already answered urself.

 

It still feels kinda bad though... He did mention a possibility of "break up" so it's very very disconcerting. What should I do now? Right now I mean.

 

He probably mentions it coz he's stressed up and all that. Don't panic. Talk to him and tell him u agree that u guys are spending too much time together etc. Work it out with him. Eventually when he doesn't feel so stressed up and he finds that he can still hang out with his buddies and at the same time stay in a 'harmonious' relationship with u, he'll change his mind abt the break up. The key word here is harmonious coz it won't work if u agreed then pick fights with him abt how he's not spendin enuff time with u. If he feels u r not pressuring him, then he'll come to u. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, that is true!
In the mean time, try to do ur own thing. Find some hobbies, hang out with ur peeps too... guys like a girl who can b independent sometimes. At the start, u probably need to give him back a lot of 'alone' time... Then maybe get together with him and haf a great time so that he'll want more.

 

every1 needs some personal space and time
just let it be, if he likes u, then im sure theres no problems

if he doesn't, well even if u2 are 2gether, its not going to last

 

lol.. or he might be trying to find an excuse.. and hey.. not being mean here.. just saying its a possibility.

But one thing is for sure.. he wants space.. so give him that. Everyone needs freedom one way or another. And babyrain has given some good suggestions too.

Thats also the reason why I dun suggest 24/7 relationships.. that can wait till marriage.. if it has to be that way.. which I disagree. But anyway, hope things work out for you. Good luck!

 

Its true every one needs there space dont be all histerical and think about break up it only leads to bad stuff

 

We've been together for about a little more than 3 years. I love him to pieces. But now is our exam period. When do you think I should have the "heart to heart" talk?

 

I just feel like... if a girls says that to me while in a relationship... I just make preparations because I have a 80% chance that I'm screwed. I guess I get paranoid about these things.

 

So put yourself in the guy's shoe. If u said it to ur gal, would you want a break up or just space to be alone?

 

reason varies.

depends on her surroundings.

 

Just leave him alone for a while, he'll come talk to you when he's ready

 

for the first few moments , i wud probly think dat he wana breakup n only talkin the 'space-out' thgy as an excuse. But then i will try to understand the situation n respect his decision. mayb sometimes wen a couple has been seein each other too much, they jux need some time out to better the situation, but necessary a bad thg! but its important dat to remind him during this period of space-out ,u'll still luv him!

 

i mean not necessary a bad thg! haha, typin mistake!