when(and maybe where and how)

Discussion in 'Love and Relationships' started by dduc, May 5, 2007.

  1. dduc

    dduc Well-Known Member

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    Just hypothetically speaking -whistle if say a guy want to tell a girl that he really likes her, when should he do it? Like before they say goodbye for the night? Or when they're dining together or something? And is simple and short the way to go? -detect
    But if the feelings isn't mutual, is there a way to say save the friendship? Like so it wouldn't be awkward later or something? -surr
     
  2. BabyRain

    BabyRain Doppelgänger of da E.Twin

    This could be tricky. You could either plan a romantic timing or a spontaneous natural one. If you prefer to avoid an embarrassing situation and play it safe, then before sayin goodbye for the night would be a good time to go. I mean, if she likes you too, then you'll have a sweet goodbye kiss. If she's unsure, you can let her go and ask her to think about it. If she's not into you, you could part for the night without having to deal with awkward moments afterwards, and cry your heart out privately.
    So let's say ur planning to say it to a friend. But you are not sure if the feelings are mutual. Maybe you could go for hinting first? If you feel there's a positive sign there, then you can go all out. Just so there won't be an embarrassing or awkward situation after. Actually, it all depends on the girl and you. If the girl can tell you she's not interested and you can accept that and be cool with it, then of course your friendship could go on without awkwardness. But if the girl feels guilty to reject you or you are not sporting about it, then the friendship will suffer. Just make it clear to her, that while you are serious abt her, you wouldn't mind if she doesn't have the same feeling about you and can she be honest with you; and that you are not giving her any pressure.
     
  3. taichi_masta

    taichi_masta Well-Known Member

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    Say it when she least expects it! Simple and short is not the way to go! Extend it as long as possible, hinting at what you're trying to ask. Ask her who she likes, and when she asks you, then you can tell her.

    It will probably be awkward for a bit, but things usually clear up pretty quickly. A friend is never lost when you ask them out and get rejected...unless something is seriously wrong with the guy or the girl.
     
  4. BabyRain

    BabyRain Doppelgänger of da E.Twin

    ^Contrary to what you say, sometimes a friendship can grow distant after a rejection.
     
  5. taichi_masta

    taichi_masta Well-Known Member

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    ^That's true...but, it could be the guy that doesn't want to be so close to the girl after being rejected. So his initial want to save the friendship may actually be the opposite of what he will eventually want =P
     
  6. well freindships that are lost are the ones where you have been friends for a long while and the feelings are not returned, because from then on it just feel awkward for the both of you to be around one another knowing how each other feels for the opposing person

    But if you just met the girl (not meaning 10 mins ago!! around a few months) then it is quite possible to retain the friendship side much quicker

    If you like someone the best time to tell him/her is at the right moment when everything is going perfect and you will know when it is because when that time comes it seems that the only thing you can think of saying is telling them how you feel about them, almost like an epiphany

    for most people though they always think the best time is when they are hanging out together alone, but in actualality you could tell them how you feel whenever, of course you hafta use logic meaning dont say it if the person is in a really bad.angry mood or a family tradgedy recently happen, personally if i like someone i will flirt with them to try and get closer to them, depending on their reactions to what i do i choose my direction of the situation and when the time seems right i tell them straight forward, no shortcuts because i would rather know if they feel the same way or should i just let go to something that wasnt going to happen

    of course everyone is different and sometimes a girls says no at first but after awhile they reconsider their feelings and accept the chance of something together
     
  7. BabyRain

    BabyRain Doppelgänger of da E.Twin

    ^That is so true... Some girls may initially reject you because
    a) they are either shocked that you have special romantic feelings for them after being buddies for a long time or
    b) they have always thought of you as a brother...
    but maybe after you revealed your feelings, they see you in a different light. And think, "hmm this guy is actually romantic"

    It happens to guys as well; sometimes, they tend to get flattered when a gal confess and then they say they feel the same. -shrug

    @Tachi_masta: It could also turn sour if the gal feels awkward/guilty after rejecting the guy, or doesn't wanna spend so much time with the guy for fear of giving him false hope.
     
    #7 BabyRain, May 5, 2007
    Last edited: May 10, 2007
  8. MissCheekS

    MissCheekS Reconnaîssant ❤

    Save the friendship? Never heard of that... If you like her dont hesitate and express your feelings... come on... ur a guy thats ur job... at least if u want anything to happen and u realllly like her... I read in a book that: if a guy doesnt wanna ruin the friendship..."hes just not that into you" Cuz if a guy likes u enough... he doesnt care because being her friend wouldnt be satisfying enough

    Hehe...the most perfect thing would be...u take her to a place with a nice nightview and u just sit there with her... and then u hold her hand and tell her... wow so romantic... hehe sorry ive been watching too many korean movies :D.
     
  9. BabyRain

    BabyRain Doppelgänger of da E.Twin

    ^I think you misread his question -er
    What he meant was if he told her about his feelings but she doesn't feel the same way; is there a way to 'save' the friendship...
     
  10. MissCheekS

    MissCheekS Reconnaîssant ❤

    lol...my bad :p sorry ar bbrain :(
     
  11. BabyRain

    BabyRain Doppelgänger of da E.Twin

    ^Haha no probs... no need to apologize :p
     
  12. dduc

    dduc Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the responses ladies and gents : ) My thinking was pretty much on the same line. When I first thought about it I thought about having it long but then I thought that short was better. But I don't even know anymore. I guess I'll find out when the time comes.
    But with my luck recently I don't think I wanna try it yet. So many bad things have happened since about a month ago -dead
     
  13. pacho

    pacho Active Member

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    i agree with the end of the night approach. that way, if worst comes to worst, you'll avoid the awkwardness.

    but hey, you gotta try soon. what would happen if someone else confessed to her first? you'd be in a bit of a pickle. life is short. take risks. you'll regret not telling her in the long run if you've really fallen for her. i know i regret my decision to not tell her.

    just remember, you only live once. make the most of it. you never know what'll happen until you try. good luck!
     
    #13 pacho, May 7, 2007
    Last edited: May 7, 2007
  14. chickenutbread

    chickenutbread Well-Known Member

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    the important thing is that if she rejects you, you can rebound quickly & joke about it. if it's all serious, there's bound to be awkwardness. but again, i guess it depends on your relationship with this girl. if you're really close friends and usually talk to each other a lot, i guess you could talk it out with her.
     
  15. dduc

    dduc Well-Known Member

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    Yea, there are many things that I regret not doing but I'll definitely go through with this though. 'Cause I know that I'll regret it later if I don't.

    Haha, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to pull of a successful rebound, though.
     
  16. BabyRain

    BabyRain Doppelgänger of da E.Twin

    Well good luck with it Dduc if ur going for it... and do let us know if it works out :p
     
  17. smallrinilady

    smallrinilady Well-Known Member

    that really makes me chicken shit to ever try
     
  18. BabyRain

    BabyRain Doppelgänger of da E.Twin

    ^Try it... if you really like him... Trust ur feelings :)
    Well it's good to take a chance sometimes esp. if it's a rare one.