A thought that came back after reading the "Best friend going for your ex" thread... Sorry if this was already discussed.. kinda got lazy after browsing 5 pages deep... If you and your friend like the same person... What would you do if... a) your friend tells you they like him/her first (Assume you DON'T KNOW who he/she likes...) b) continuing from a), you later start to like him/her even more and have a strong feeling that he/she LIKES YOU (Assume your friend isn't dating him/her yet)... This was something I always wondered during high school... I stuck w/ honour back then and just helped my friend. I wondered if I did the right thing after grad though. One of the girls came up to me and told me that they liked me and also knew that I liked her and felt really upset that I pushed her towards my friend...
a) your friend tells you they like him/her first (Assume you DON'T KNOW who he/she likes...) -->So... you tellin me first doesn't mean you get to own the guy... b) later on you start to like him/her even more and have a strong feeling that he/she LIKES YOU (Assume your friend isn't dating him/her yet)... --> I think u meant scenario A & B together rite? Well i'll just say all is fair in love.. (and war) so I'd tell my best friend (after all she's my best fren; i cld tell her anything rite?) that I fancy him as well. And let's haf a fair competition lol. And I mean fair; no dirty tricks like for eg. badmouthing my best friend to that guy etc. And I would expect her to return the favor. Honour has got nothing to do with this situation because firstly; my best friend is NOT with the guy yet. Jz becoz she tellin me first doesn't mean i can't say, "Me too". Besides, I'd tell her honestly that I am into the guy as well; not like I am gettin behind her back; tat would be very dishonorable
They will have my blessings. Although I know all's fair in love and war and won't hold a grudge against my friend (if she decided to have a fair competition). But I generally will let go of my feelings. Really, I treasure my friendship more than that.
Really, I am sure love comes and goes (I don't even believe in there's only ONE soulmate now), why ruin a friendship for a relationship which possible (more like probably) wouldn't last?
Yea... B is a continuation from A... Seems like only the gals are responding so far... guys... any opinion...? I remember talking about this b4 w/ my friends and the guys tend to be more on honour (dibs) and gals more for love (although they often act otherwise) Haha.. maybe I'm getting old... I only look for serious relationships and hope for something long-term... so I cherish both friendship and relationships...
i had this situation before lol.. at a party we both kissed the same girl.. but my friend asked me do you mind that i go after here... ofc i said i dont mind >.< how can i be so selfish and stop him being liking someone and having a chance... so we just had a fair competition
thats really stupid to believe on.. what IF you lose the guy that actully you MAYBE will be togheter to the end of life? you say it prob wouldnt last.. but if you think the other what.. what if you missed you chance? sometimes love doesnt come into your hands... you gotta use the chances given to ya
I guess, but then at the same time I don't like the idea of "taking a chance on someone who possibly is my best friend's soulmate" If I am able to lose the person in question that way, he is not mine to begin with.
so u rather "give" ur friend the boy.. thats maybe not his soulmate.. and never will work out? and again.. losing a friend is just that easy as losing a relationship.. ive learned that atleast.. in one day time someone can change so much...
Hmmm... It's normal for 2 girls who are best friends to dig the same guy. As for me and my peeps, we usually tell each other we like him and if I get him, she gives her blessings, and vice versa. If we both don't get him we'd go have a drink together. All's fair in love and war. So it's important to inform your best friend. He doesn't belong to either yet so no prob.
I think what hiake means is that she would rather not take any chances that would ruin her already beautiful friendship. True; she might miss out on hooking up with her 'true' love but then, if you never get to know a person well in the first place; you'll never be able to tell whether he's your true love anyway.. So as long as you are not consciously aware of the fact that he's the one; then you can always be on the lookout for another. And i don't believe everyone in this world have just one soulmate meant to be.
^ I think soulmate is someone who just click with you and willing to "grow" with you. But that's just MY definition, and likely the reason why I am very ready to give up on guys. Of course, if my friend end up telling me (AFTER the guy in question has alread get into a relationship with me) that she used to like the guy, I would be between a rock and a hard place @_@b
^ I've been in that situation before, I had a really close friend of actually the whole fam and her bf (now her husband) I liked him, but the moment that I found out that they were together, I mentally forced myself not to like him, because, of the principles involved. Of course I still thought he was handsome and a good fellow, lol he is, but any romantic feelings? nope. They've been married for ooo 4-5 years now, and I hope they'll keep going, happily together =). anyway in regards to the initial situation, I voted to suppress my feelings, but even then, that is not accurate of how I would react. I wouldn't per say "suppress" lol I'd move on. Men really aren't that important to me in my life, so if my friend and I liked the same guy, I'd divulge what I think of him, but to purse? nah.. I guess lol I'm not the type of fem to "purse" men, anyway, but then most of my friends are on the same level as I am. If she sees that I really like the guy and he supposedly seems to like me, she'd move on too..
Yeah... most of my friends are cool like that too, but there are always a few who get really stubborn and defensive when it comes to relationships =_=b
equal oppurtunity the girl is someone that YOU going to spend the rest of your life with, not your friend "just loving someone isnt enough, you often have to fight for it." "when you love someone, hold them tight."
all's fair in love and war..but if my best friend did like like like like him...then i'd step bk n help her out..=)
i've always gone with suppressing my feelings... n i think i'll keep doing that... although i doubt i'll ever fall for the same guy as my fd again... in fact... i doubt i'll ever fall for another guy again
lol really depends.. if i know this girl for awhile and really like her... yea fair competition.. else if i know my friend better... like my best friend or so.., rather give it to him since i can just find another girl.
