Love vs Religion

^well if you think about it, it' s kinda like 'living a lie'.
You are delaying the conflict, not avoiding it.
It's better to lay down your cards at the start, "here's what I am" take it or leave it.

Rather than get into the relationship, then after that you discovered that your partner plans to have a religious ceremony wedding with you, or plans to take you to her next local church gathering... etc.

Like I said, religion to me is important part of my life, and there's bound to be issues of it popping up sooner or later.
Why not discuss about it in the beginning rather than avoiding it till later?

Haha, trust me, I really get what you mean. Of course it would be a bonus if I find a partner that has the same beliefs as me, but if not, at least he knows about my beliefs and willing to learn about them, and vice versa.

 

not everybody is religious, nor does every single person wants to believe in whatever religion.. like i said, if a girl i am with is religious and asks me about it, i will say ok whatever.. just don't talk about it with me.. i've already studied a lot of religion around the world, so i am fairly knowledgeable.. don't need to hear it again.. i have my own beliefs and my own thinking.. it's wrong for someone to try to push their ideas on me.. that's what's call open minded, coz i can understand what other ppl want to believe, so just let them.. anyone who isn't open minded wouldn't even start to be with me in the first place

 

Avoiding religion is an important part of my life. If the girl I am with cannot accept that I don't believe in her religion and she is not willing to follow what I believe, then we just break up.

Most people will not change their mind on their religion so it is a problem if the 2 people are not willing to compromise.

 

Well it won't happen if the both of you are not religious whatsoever and not the least bit philosophical and try to talk about the issues.

Talking about it isn't the same as pushing their beliefs down your throat. In fact, it's a lot of difference.
If you two can discuss about your beliefs and still respect each other after that, THAT's what I would call open-minded.

Besides, like what Sugacutie has said, religion is part of a person's life. Or even beliefs. You may be agnostic and yet you claim you have your own beliefs and own thinking. So there's no harm learning about them.
If she's indeed your life partner, wouldn't it feel good to share your beliefs and way of thinking with her and vice versa?

And if you say, you tell the girl that you don't care what she believes in as long as she doesn't try to convert you, that's NOT what I term as 'avoiding' the issue. -nono

 

Exactly. If they are religious, then the religion would come up in any aspects of their lives, sooner or later.

So you expect the girl to drop her religion/beliefs and follow YOUR way of thinking? Ouch. Is that the so-called 'compromise' you have in mind? Lol.

 

i know the difference between what you said in the first paragraph.. yes i am agnostic, and i DO have my own beliefs and thinking.. one person's beliefs and thinking doesn't have to be religious, it may be a way of life.. there's nothing wrong with learning, that's why i traveled the world already.. the question directed at me was, what happens when kids factor in.. when i discuss an issue with someone, i won't automatically say "i don't care".. i'll listen to what they have to say first, and in regards to religion, most likely i will most likely just tell them do whatever.. for instance, if i have gf and she tell me she go to christian church every weekend, i will say ok.. but i won't go.. simple

aren't you doing the same thing though?? in this thread, you are telling ppl that everybody is religious in some way and that religion SHOULD or MUST be discussed.. it doesn't have to be if 2 ppl aren't religious at all

 

Okay, perhaps I shouldn't be too harsh to use that word, if it bothers you so much, Knoc. -^_^
But then, I still maintain that if a person does not want to discuss it for 'fear of an argument' with his/her POTENTIAL LIFE PARTNER, then it's just avoiding the inevitable.

It's better to be able to discuss it right at the begininng and come to a 'compromise' if there is any, rather than when you are already too deep into the relationship then you find out that both of you are too different in your ways of thinking and just cannot compromise.

Besides if the both of you are adults and matured enough, I don't see why there should be any 'arguments' if you are willing to compromise and respect each other. Key word being RESPECT.

 

It's inevitable that an argument will happen sooner or later if you both or one of you are religious but decide not to discuss the matter for fear of argument, because religion IS part of your life and if you are going to share that life with someone else, it's bound to come into discussion one day.

I am just being realistic. And since religion or whatever beliefs you might have are, I deem, important to you... then why shut off that part of your life to the person that you are going to share it with? It just doesn't make sense.
As long as you got respect for each other's beliefs, then the arguments can be avoided.

 

precisely

 

Oh i see where you are leading at... lol, well that's exactly what I mean.
Then why avoid the discussion until later if you can do it now? It's much better to discuss it and find out if the person does indeed have respect for you. What if you get married then she doesn't respect your beliefs enough and expect you to convert? Divorce her?

 

Hmm, I will have to agree that for two devout religious people from different denominations, religion will come up, no doubt, even more so when kids enter the picture. Whether a conflict occurs or not, I guess that depends on how flexible the two parties are, but if they really are "devout" in their differing beliefs, conflicts will occur, for sure, in my opinion.

 

^I know, that's why I am stressing my point here that it's better to talk about it right at the beginning and NOT to avoid it 'for fear of argument'... Because that's like taking a huge risk.

And the irony of it would be that you wanted to avoid talking about it 'for fear of argument or conflicts' at first, but in the end, you might get into a conflict when you are already too deep into the relationship.

 

@BR: I say, it never hurts to be upfront about matters, even though it may seem insignificant to some people.