[Horror] THE CHOSEN ONE

Discussion in 'Fan Fix' started by BabyRain, May 19, 2007.

  1. Taxloss

    Taxloss Stripper Vicar

    Hmm, I suspect the deal Kaelyn made with the demon was that it will leave Janie and may use K's body for whatever it's purposes are? So Mr. Creed had been stabbing/kicking his own daughter (Janie) dead in a very cruel way?

    Oh no, one final chapter left. :(

    PS: Loved the clip of Creepshow. -lol
     
  2. mgfcortez

    mgfcortez Well-Known Member

    114
    41
    0
    great story it over i enjoyed it:)
    it would have been nice to see polly die but who knows maybe she'll be the demons new body:p
    the chosen one two anyobe;)
    great job baby can't wait to see the next one;)
     
  3. BabyRain

    BabyRain Doppelgänger of da E.Twin

    Thanks :)

    No one else viewed those clips? -down
     
  4. philostrate

    philostrate Well-Known Member

    it's nice towards the end...never knew janie and k were related by blood..but i don't understand why george dismembered himself...possessed by the demon?
     
  5. Loreen66

    Loreen66 Well-Known Member

    502
    68
    0
    That's because you haven't update yet and some of us are waiting for the final showdown to check back -pirate

    Love the clips especially that version of Carrie. The only thing I haven't seen out of those clips is Braindead. (make a list to check it out when I go rent movies XD)
     
  6. BabyRain

    BabyRain Doppelgänger of da E.Twin

    George was under Janie's control hehehe. Or you can say the demon's control.

    Oh well I thought no one cares to check anymore -down
    No one seems to notice that the last chapter isn't updated yet -mellow

    Uhm, Braindead? Just got it off the torrent. Want me to upload? :p
     
  7. Loreen66

    Loreen66 Well-Known Member

    502
    68
    0
    Sure thing, if you want to -bigsmile

    So are you still going to keep us in suspense -mellow
     
  8. wind2000

    wind2000 Self Schemata

    Mr Creed just lost my respect right there going crazy.. -pirate
     
  9. BabyRain

    BabyRain Doppelgänger of da E.Twin

    ^Would you be sane if you suddenly step into a house looking at a dead guy with his head coming off then.. your dead wife (in a gross manner) and your daughter about to be killed as well? -bigsmile
     
  10. wind2000

    wind2000 Self Schemata

    Lemme dream that 2nite and see what my reactions would be. Who knows, i might even be happy -whistle
     
  11. BabyRain

    BabyRain Doppelgänger of da E.Twin

    -ann Wind's a psycho!!!
     
  12. wind2000

    wind2000 Self Schemata

    ^ Make sure you lock your door tight little girl... You might be the next victim... -evil
     
  13. brown_bear

    brown_bear ☆‧° ☆﹒﹒‧ ☆ ﹒﹒‧☆‧° ☆

    8,870
    467
    21
    ^ next -shock thought she was.......so then ham sup jai...you wanna meet my 2 friends do we -shoot
     
  14. wind2000

    wind2000 Self Schemata

    Is that an invitation there? -devil
     
  15. BabyRain

    BabyRain Doppelgänger of da E.Twin

    It is here! The final chapter!!!

    To those of you who have been at my side, supporting me always and coming into this thread to leave your comments, I very much appreciate it, and would like to thank you for your support. Couldn't have done it without you guys. (You know who you are!)

    I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have, and please please do leave me a comment and let me know what you think of this story!!!


    Thank you and adios.

    -BR
     
  16. Taxloss

    Taxloss Stripper Vicar

    Oooooooohh!!! -shock

    I knew there was some deal involved, a hard decision Kaelyn had to make when confronted with the demon but I could have never suspected she was prepared to set Polly up in this slaugther case. Polly did end up in a nuthouse like I had hoped but that she'd been accused of the murderings....

    But where is Mr. Creed then?! Must we think he was a coward and fled away, not able to face the gruesome reality? OR have Kaelyn sold her dad's soul to the demon and he died too? Or she gave up her dad to save Polly's life? :D
     
  17. BabyRain

    BabyRain Doppelgänger of da E.Twin

    lol, -sweat I think I better explain my story to you ;)

    Well, the deal was that the demon switched bodies...

    So during the time that Kaelyn went unconscious, the demon actually had taken possession of KAELYN'S body instead, so that explains why Mr. Creed was able to kill off Janie easily. (yes, he killed his own daughter).... (and this will also explain to Hiake's comment)

    and then when Kaelyn awoke, she is of course... different now, the demon is IN HER.

    As to what happened to Mr. Creed, that's anybody's guess really.. but you can easily imagine right? ;)

    And it's also anyone's guess to why Polly would confess. Maybe she was too distressed, maybe she lost her mind after those confusion, or maybe the demon in Kaelyn controlled her to confess ... etc.

    As for the epilogue, it was the demon who sent the parcel and that message to Polly....

    I hope it is clear now... :D

    ***There are a few hints that the demon has taken over Kaelyn's body at the end.

    First hint, Mr. Creed easily overtaken Janie, and attacked her.

    Second hint, Kaelyn awoke and called her father, "Daddy"...
    If anyone notices, Kaelyn never calls her father, "Daddy", only "Dad". And it was the demon in Janie all the while addressing Mr. Creed as "Daddy". Also, at the end, when Janie got attacked by Mr. Creed, she called out, "Father" instead of "Daddy".

    Third hint, Kaelyn's message to Polly.
     
  18. Taxloss

    Taxloss Stripper Vicar

    Ah, that's meany! Not telling us what had happened to Mr. Creed. <_<

    However I do think it has a satisfying ending because I couldn't have predicted it 100% so it does have things that surprises me and I thought that Mr. Creed would die in an equal gruesome manner like the rest and not '"disappearing".

    Overall, a very nice horror story in which all details seems to be right (I couldn't spot a flaw and you've corrected some tiny details already), with some twisted, funny gory details that totally suits my taste haha! (even when you didn't add the 'funny' things in on purpose)

    My favorite parts are Chapter 17 and the first bit of Chapter 18 ; Janie confronting Kaelyn's mom Samantha with her alcoholic past and the chilling way Janie tries to "teach her a lesson".

    I've enjoyed this story very much and part of the fun was making comments and seeing what others think about the development of The Chosen One and I'm glad you took the constructive criticism we all offer on here to shape your story for better.

    Thank you for your time and effort to write/finish/update this story for a bunch of strangers like us! :D -clapclap
     
  19. wind2000

    wind2000 Self Schemata

    Great ending... there would be a sequel correct, since K is now possessed to continue the rampage to a whole new level?

    I feel sorry for Polly tho, she wasnt even part of the family drama yet she got dragged into it.... poor girl... my sympathy lies with her....

    Mr Creed... hmmm...hopefully he died a horrible death because he couldnt recognize his own daugther and so savagely murdered her...

    I must congratulate and thank you for the time and efforts + the brilliant plots one after the other. The suspense was constantly there, could almost feel the gory details live with the ways you described them... Keep up the good job and cant wait for the upcoming story that you will be doing... -clapclap-rockon
     
  20. mgfcortez

    mgfcortez Well-Known Member

    114
    41
    0
    wow what a great ending:)
    but in a way it kinda piss's me off:p
    it's one of them twisted endings where the bad guy wins.lol
    but the good guy can't always win,i like storys where the bad guy gets his ass beat;)
    kinda like fready in nightmare on elm street.lol
    he always gets killed but he always comes back:p

    but i loved the story i saved it to the harddrive just in case i want to read it again.lol
    but i can't wait until your next story;)
    i like it all and like taxloss said there was no way i could had guessed the end at all:p
    can't wait until the next story tho;)
    it ok that you didn't tell us about mr creed too,i think its better that way.lol
    that way we can think he lived or died:p

    but if you do make a part two to it i hope you kill that demon next time.lol
    i like it but i like that kinda ending better:p
    maybe i'm just crazy.lol
    but thanks for keeping on working on it until you finsh it;)
    now we all waiting for your next story;)
    keep up the great work baby!!!