The Disclaimer: Okay, my friend (剛) and I (Wing Xin)thought it would be funny to write our own versions of 6 Bf and 5 Gf types as seen on soompi since we feel we kind of face these kind of people day to day. Let it be at school, at work, in the public even on line (yes we have encountered random people who are like this on forums we used to post on.) We thought it would be funny to write a satire or parody what ever you want to call it. We wrote it because we're BORED, not to hurt other and point fingers at people and be like Ohh~ look at that girl she fits perfectly as our -insert what ever kind of person we decided to write in this entry- Hey! i guess you can consider it as inspiration to make us write it. We try to make it as funny as possible but Hell that's hard to do. Everyone takes things the wrong way in real life or online. So please don't kill us and ruin our summer fun? Okay? and we promise we'll try and not to hurt your feelings. Oh yeah our entries may be the same, it's because we jack it off each other's blog with permission (DUH!) and we add in what we think fits in with it =) creds. to us (Wing Xin & 剛) Different Types of Girlfriends(or girls) The Ditz: add-ons by Wing in color, rest written by 剛 Well you see ditzes all the time no? Mostly spotted at Middle, Highschools since thats where we can actually see how those girls work or just complete various tasks. Ok screw all this intro stuff....ditz are a pain to deal with okay? Some of you guys probably know what I mean. I mean you have to always look after them, often times they are clumsy and you never get a break from watching over them....no matter how much you love or like them. They're not the smartest tool in the shed either. Dating them became a complete chore for you guys.We can turn around for 5 minutesand they can do one slight move and cause chaos in the area. You guys probably know the source of this right? Well heres the answer anyway, they don't think at all. I don't believe they use their tiny little non existent peanut size brain. Ditz are easy to recognize, often times they end up babbling about nothing and goes asking what she was just talking about. let me guess your thought at that moment..."wth?"...or something close to that at least. Another symptom that are shown in ditzes are that they often times make simple tasks harder on themselves and they contradict themselves when talking. From personal experiences I had to deal with i encountered this certain situation: The teacher was lecturing about the novel being read in class and states that the character was a women, the ditz who can't keep her mouth shut from making comments replies that "the character is a women because she is not a man, OOOOOHHHHHHH~!!". again i believe our thoughts are "wtf" or similar no? As cute as they can be, sooner or later you would wish you can have a girl that can actually think for herself with minimal help and won't wreck havoc for not thinking fast enough. Now, why do guys go out with them? Simple because they are hot, and to boost up your popularity. I doubt there are any girls with beauty and brains who are popular at school and manage to get the hottest guy at school. Another reason is probably for the ~ auto censor ~. You get her pregnant and i doubt she's smart enough and run up to him and demand for child care money...or even get an abortion. The only thing a ditz can answer and sounding smart is in the latest trend, gossip or make up. The most useless things you need to get by with in life. Sure you can get away with knowing what's in and what's not in. But how far is it going to get you in life? The gangsta Yo~! add-ons by Wing in color, rest written by 剛 What the----- was probably many of you first thoughts right? or of course something similar. Yeah, now tell me this: How many of you guys want your girl to be walking around talking all ghetto and dressed all ghetto? Okay So there are some of you that think its cool and all. Ok now how do you react when you and your girl are out having fun and your girl is over here being really loud, shouting, laughing like a maniac, and going "WAT DA HEL!?" (translation: Hel=Pig in viet..so it's What the Pig?..makes me go wtf?) every 2 mins or every second word coming out her mouth is "F**CK (spam filter misspelling)" You got everyone staring on this one guy and his girl who stands out like a star in the night. Oh and another thing your girl is also over here banging her fists and hands on the table while talking making all kind of noise embarrassing you. Honestly we don't really want a girl acting all hard and stuff trying to be in the hood when you were born in the city. Your just acting dombo! (spam filter misspelling) in front of everyone while they're over here sayin g ur lacking manners and acting like a fool.....aight peace out~ Okay, he just covered everything right there. I haven't even encountered girls like these..prob because canada is a peaceful place and where i live, Italians run the place with the mafia! Jk I don't think itialians run burnaby. They dominate it..any ways back on topic. I believe guys go out with these kind of girls because either a) they like their booties B) she's part of the guys/ she's one of tha brotha's or c) he can't defend himself so he cowers behind his girlfriend and hope she can do some ~ auto censor ~ whoopin' on the haters. But we all know at night you go home and cower in your bed and cry- she's more of a man you are. She wears the pants in the relationships and you fail miserably to take them off. She's always calling the shots...what can i say your whipped. Jail bait... written by 剛 The title says it all guys~!! Jail bait...so some of you guys that probably live down in your mom's basement or under a rock are probably wondering what a jail bait type of girl is right? I'm right right?.....anyways Jail Bait types of girls are those that are hella cute...you know what i'm talkin about .... sometimes u see em around the mall or public places. In many other times you may see em around myspace and such...same place where pedos lurk. Not implying that you guys are pedos but yeah you get my point. As i was saying these girls are either really cute or hot or a combination both, and over 90% of hte time they are waaaaaaayyyyyyyyy underage. YES~!!! THEY ARE UNDERAGE GUYS.....which leads to the term jail bait. So if you do anything with these girls that are illegal...and are caught...you will be jailed...c'mon see how the term works? yeah~ Sometimes they are jus cute and hot naturally and have no real motive into hookin you guys in but many are those underage wannabe sluts.(Sometimes seen around middle and lower grades in HS) They show off as much skin as possible and most of the time can be considered trashy!!....Honestly guys like me that can keep a straight mind can tell if you girls are actin like this on purpose or are like this naturally..so good luck if you want to continue acting like that. I have seen this from personal experience, friends of mine are somewhere i nthe 20s playing around in a forum and they jus start flirting with this cute girl who is around ...probably 13-14 years old......Actually thats an example of pedophiles and jail bait all in one...but its quite sickening to see the girl play along too. Personally and i believe many other guys too don't want girls that don't see a problem flirting with people wayy out their age group..thats actually a problem and not a good thing. WHORES written by 剛 Again ..'nuff said..title says it all right? I mean you see them all around, oogly (spam filter misspelling) ones, cute ones, hot ones, even kiddie ones aka jail bait(see jail bait type). Okay guys, who really want a whore as their girl?...besides the fact that shes basically a friggen toy~!!....They are probably as shallow as they come, play with you a couple times..then get bored and leave u to rot in misery since you actually "thought you had something." I understand a fraction of you guys are okay with having a whore as your girl, but do you realyl want to settle down with them? You have the highest chance of your girl leaving you without a regret. Think bout it.... ungraceful Okay my favorite type of girl(girlfriend) to write/rant about here. This is possibly my most hated type of GF or girl to hang with...and i'm sure some of you guys out there agree with me. You and your girl are out in town goin for a bite to eat. You and her are having a conversation bout w/e but instead of talking softly just to yourselves, she talks all loud and banging her hands on the table. She laughs with her mouth all wide open...eww u can even see the half chewed food in her mouth. You don't want to say anything to hurt ur friend's feelings though but you can see and feel everyone's eyes glued to you and your friend. Oh and from personal experience, the girl that was at my table...she spit...yeah disgusting right?....i saw her saliva jus shoot out when she laughed. These types of girls often dress all trashy also, their sense of style you will soon see just doesn't fit your taste or what you want in a girl. Instead of being gentle when completing simple tasks that require it, they use full force and often times destroy something needed to complete the task of destroy the task itself. These types of girls completely lack any kind of societal type manners and grace. We want a girl that we can look good with in society, someone who won't embarrass us or make us go...."HOLY S--- YOU JUS SPIT IN MY FOOD"...or "hey, hun....everyone is staring at us...but mostly at you, could you jus cover your mouth a bit and lower you voice?" Oh and if the guys are like me, we can easily tell you apart from those that actually have manners and grace so no need to play sophisticated around us. Oh and i don't think us guys want to hear this from the people around us: "Excuse me, could you please leave the area? We are sorry but we have received complaints from the other guests about how your friend here is acting " Different Types of Boyfriends(or guys) Online Pedophiles... Written by Wing add-ons by 剛 Ah online pedophiles with corny pick up lines but really in real life they're shy little guys who wished they can get girls. Probably a homosexual anyways... Any ways, Online pedophiles they are everywhere. They are at places like Myspace, they can me admins of forums that consists of Pretty girls and nothing else to attract members, Chat rooms for teens, well they're everywhere why not just leave it at that. Any ways Myspace has been on the news tonnes of times, let it be two couples meeting on myspace and getting married to 13 year old girl goes out and meets up with man met on myspace and was sexually harassed. So the pedos on myspace probably poses as a 13 year old boy. Hot looking and found a random picture of another cute looking guy. Sounds ~ auto censor ~? He probably is if he's using some random cute looking boy as his picture. Any ways the stupidest one would prob be the ones who uses his real picture and photoshops the hell out of it just to make himself look good and....sexy. well...a FAILED attempt to look sexy. I think I encountered a myspace pedophile..either that or the guy didn't read my profile and only my sn...I Lol at those kind of guys. Any ways at the time i think my name was ~ auto censor ~ terrorist ' don't ask. Long story. I would suddenly get all these random messages, I probably deleted all of them. But yeah even though myspace has that privacy thing for kids under 16, they're still those little jail baits who fake their age and take ~ auto censor ~ ~ auto censor ~ pics to be noticed. But surprinsingly these kind of pedophiles get what they want. ~ auto censor ~ from desperate little girls...makes you wonder why do they want to have ~ auto censor ~ with little girls? it's because they can't get any ~ auto censor ~ themselves with women their age. Woman their age find them to be very hideous and unsexy like this: Okay, borat is not a myspace pedohpile, but he is hairy..and i guess you'd catch my drift. Yes to finnish off to the second type. The second type i'm going to write about are the forum pedos. My friend and I posted on this forum alot and I mean alot to know what kind of guy the admin and his right hand man is like. So basically if you go look at their main page, pretty girls. Yes pretty girls, he takes pictures from pretty girls and uses them without permission. He even saves them on the server for all to see, theres like a member gallery of girls that arn't even there anymore. O__O (and yes in case ur wondering they are cute haha) There was one case when there was a faker, posing as another girl; she was exposed. The real girl of that pictures being used asked for her pictures to be removed. Did not happen she actually had to send him a private message a few times. Having to said that, when a new member joins his forum and introduces themselves...if the member is a guy i believe all he says is a Hi and welcome. Now if it was a girl- if she didn't post her pictures up he would say Hi - do you mind showing -insert the forums name here- you lovely face or any older female siblings? ....like my friend said he uses them on any age as low as 12. hahaha Yeah uhhh that's something you don't ask a girl online. Now...if the new girl posts her picture..he would respond with a cheesey pick up line. if you had a mind like mine...then you know what it means. For example here are some real 'pick up lines' used to seduce the new girls of the forum, be aware that guys can use these online or offline: 1) " Lets skip the introduction, lose our inhibitions and gimme a big warm hug!! haha" 2) "I'm sensing the intense hugs you have for me, but too bad i can't feel the warmth.... is it my cologne? Hey, i know you are shy to post your pics... so how bout show me some pics of your big sister? hehe " 3) "Hey i never said you should post pics of her on the internet... but you can send me all of her pics through PM(private messaging) wuahhaha sugoi (great-jp) " 4) "Hi _____, I saw the picture you posted early. D---n girl, you have a very messy room. shame on you. You should come over to my place for an inspection. " Yes these are actual pick up lines our admin used on the forum. Oh and while he says these lines..the rest of use are going..."WHAT THE #%#%!?......ur scaring the cute girl away man..STOP~!!" Kinda pathetic if your asking a girl on line to have ~ auto censor ~ with him. (oh we forgot to mention that these are girls taht are probably on the other side of the world...) He doesn't care if there's like a date line or possibly the e-pedophile police online. He just ignores all of it. But yea i'm amazed how his right hand man told my friend that they are opposite in real life. and i'm surpirsed hes still walking around un harmed and not in jail >__>) The online pedo is shy and he's more of the woman's guy. Uhhh male whores any one? Any ways I kind of think, if your posting pictures of your abs and your apartment.. looks like if a ~ auto censor ~ man did it. It makes people like me wonder. Are you ~ auto censor ~ or are you lying about your apartment? I mean No man's apartment can be that neat or that nicely designed. (Unless your an interior designer) But male interior designers are hard to come by. ( HOLY EFFIN CRAP~!!...THE WHOLE ROOM IS PINK!!...errr is pink when the red curtains get some light in and has multi colored pillows...wth....oh did i mention hes got like 50 bamboo plants in his room which might i add is super organized) Even so stereotypically they are ~ auto censor ~...I have not come across a male straight interior designer yet or any one planning to major in that area of interest. But yes the math works like this: guy + corny + cheesy pic up lines + online forum + no girlfriend = I think you don't have a life and I also think your ~ auto censor ~ because if your so "good looking" riding a Honda motor cycle (though a harley would be hotter) with your name on the license plate....wait that also makes me come to the new conclusion that your conceited as well. Okay the downsized version: guy + corny + cheesy + pick up lines + online forum with an oogly (spam filter misspelling) layout btw. + no girlfriend = ~ auto censor ~ and possibly conceited. SOULMATES?chiseen yun: 剛 xstarBURST: Wing part I. xstarBURST says (12:18 PM): Any ways a "perfect" mate.. chiseen yun says (12:18 PM): yes a perfect couple xstarBURST says (12:18 PM): what would make a perfecr couple? chiseen yun says (12:18 PM): well of course soulmates would chiseen yun says (12:19 PM): but thats what?...1 in a million shot right?...but again not impossible xstarBURST says (12:19 PM): yeah, but then everyone has their standards. Changes everytime. chiseen yun says (12:20 PM): right but up to a point they stablize and you know the one when you see him/her....i hope... xstarBURST says (12:20 PM): yeah "the one" i think some people would spend a life time looking for them chiseen yun says (12:21 PM): well i dun really understand hte concept of looking for 'the one' since arn't soulmates found naturally?...as in just living everyday lives? xstarBURST says (12:22 PM): yes, but you know how young people these days, Naive. chiseen yun says (12:22 PM): ha~! tell me about it... xstarBURST says (12:22 PM): Well like, teenagers for example xstarBURST says (12:23 PM): er more like pre-teens, they have a boyfriend or girlfriend they start calling each other wifey and hubby kinda disgusting. chiseen yun says (12:23 PM): kinda?..thats pretty err.....sickening actually saying they're bout 12-14 at the most xstarBURST says (12:24 PM): Yah, well i guess that kind of name calling would go well with the typical high school drop outs xstarBURST says (12:24 PM): the dombo! (spam filter misspelling) and the dumber chiseen yun says (12:24 PM): i've seen plenty of those... chiseen yun says (12:24 PM): and usualy their relationships dun last very long xstarBURST says (12:24 PM): yeah but what can they do xstarBURST says (12:25 PM): they get knocked up have a kid wah wah they become the kid themselves. chiseen yun says (12:25 PM): haha pretty much it...unless u count in they scre their life over but yeah xstarBURST says (12:26 PM): yeah, but this makes me wonder, a smar girl going out with a dombo! (spam filter misspelling) ~ auto censor ~. xstarBURST says (12:26 PM): how does that work? chiseen yun says (12:26 PM): well if thats the case isn't it obvious that shes not a smart girl if she fell for a dumbass... xstarBURST says (12:27 PM): well smart as in academic wise, and they were friends before going out =/ chiseen yun says (12:27 PM): ah ic ic, well since when did acedemics include street smarts and relationship choices?... chiseen yun says (12:28 PM): maybe they should have classes for that seeing how many idiots screw up their lives... xstarBURST says (12:28 PM): haha xstarBURST says (12:28 PM): well wouldn't a gamer girl and a gamer guy go perfectly together? xstarBURST says (12:28 PM): both spend their time on the comp. xstarBURST says (12:28 PM): reminds me of Gimpy from undergrad. chiseen yun says (12:29 PM): haha well i think you know perfectly as well as i do that one common trait in both people dun realyl help chiseen yun says (12:29 PM): and teh gamer guy if all he does is game..he probalby has no social skills to even get the other gamer girl.. xstarBURST says (12:30 PM): Nah xstarBURST says (12:30 PM): they meet on the game. xstarBURST says (12:30 PM): o_o xstarBURST says (12:30 PM): be like chiseen yun says (12:30 PM): oh yeah i saw something on tv bout that...they actually got married too..... xstarBURST says (12:30 PM): OMFG I GOT PWNED BY A.... *checks the name of killer* l33l3G00N4PWNUz kinda like that xstarBURST says (12:30 PM): really? chiseen yun says (12:30 PM): LOL yeah... xstarBURST says (12:30 PM): and the guy be all like xstarBURST says (12:30 PM): OMFG I GOT PWNED BY A GIRL?! xstarBURST says (12:31 PM): *cries*& chiseen yun says (12:31 PM): haha chiseen yun says (12:31 PM): damsel in distress gets saved by a guy who answers the distress call xstarBURST says (12:31 PM): rofl chiseen yun says (12:31 PM): of course the game was 'WOW' xstarBURST says (12:31 PM): who wears the pants now. xstarBURST says (12:31 PM): Oh yeah i remember that. chiseen yun says (12:32 PM): yeah but how many times has that actually happened? xstarBURST says (12:32 PM): very rare. xstarBURST says (12:32 PM): you know what else is funny chiseen yun says (12:32 PM): exactly.... xstarBURST says (12:32 PM): you wrote about the gangster girl? chiseen yun says (12:32 PM): yup xstarBURST says (12:32 PM): I pity the boywho goes out with her chiseen yun says (12:32 PM): yeah me too unless the guy is all ghetto and hard too then...i ono chiseen yun says (12:33 PM): haha xstarBURST says (12:33 PM): oh no remember what i added chiseen yun says (12:33 PM): ah yeah....nvm xstarBURST says (12:33 PM): so i think he's trying to start shit xstarBURST says (12:33 PM): and get his girl to beat the crap out ofthem chiseen yun says (12:34 PM): yup your're probably right (see gangstaa girl/GF paragraph) chiseen yun says (12:35 PM): but back to the gamer thing...you have a better chance of finding someone on a forum...or..even myspace o___O.... xstarBURST says (12:35 PM): ROFL a forum xstarBURST says (12:35 PM): i think that's the lamest place to pick up a girl xstarBURST says (12:35 PM): when majority of the population is like what? xstarBURST says (12:35 PM): 15-18? xstarBURST says (12:35 PM): and the admin is like what? 25 or smthing? chiseen yun says (12:35 PM): PEDO admin haha chiseen yun says (12:36 PM): lol lamest u say?..but better then gaming around and find one that jus kicked ~ auto censor ~ chiseen yun says (12:36 PM): thats just sad xstarBURST says (12:36 PM): true xstarBURST says (12:36 PM): but the saddest kind of guy xstarBURST says (12:37 PM): is one who looks for a girl online xstarBURST says (12:37 PM): especailly to get laid chiseen yun says (12:37 PM): i dun even think the 'get laid' part is even possible ...since what are the chances of her being in his area? xstarBURST says (12:37 PM): true xstarBURST says (12:37 PM): or "hopes" chiseen yun says (12:37 PM): actualy that kind of guy needs to get out and get a life xstarBURST says (12:38 PM): mmhm xstarBURST says (12:38 PM): but he can be hiding his true sexuality. chiseen yun says (12:38 PM): YOU GUYS TAHT ARE RIGHT NOW IN MOM'S BASEMENT GET OUT AND GET A LIFE...ANDA GIRL chiseen yun says (12:38 PM): thats even more disturbing for those around us... chiseen yun says (12:38 PM): around him* xstarBURST says (12:38 PM): mmhm chiseen yun says (12:40 PM): well what would you describe as the perfect couple? xstarBURST says (12:40 PM): hm chiseen yun says (12:40 PM): how would you describe the perfect guy? xstarBURST says (12:41 PM): some one who matches a girl's standards 80-90% chiseen yun says (12:41 PM): yes and that tells us a lot... chiseen yun says (12:42 PM): could you describes the standards? xstarBURST says (12:42 PM): ... every girl has different standards xstarBURST says (12:42 PM): i think personality is one of them chiseen yun says (12:42 PM): true. . . chiseen yun says (12:42 PM): well ok we can go with the general standards? xstarBURST says (12:43 PM): personality, looks xstarBURST says (12:43 PM): and um. xstarBURST says (12:43 PM): that's all i can remember. chiseen yun says (12:43 PM): hmm what about smarts? xstarBURST says (12:43 PM): yeah that too chiseen yun says (12:43 PM): i'm sure that hte girl doesn't want to talk to a complete dombo! (spam filter misspelling)! (spam filter misspelling) or walk around with one xstarBURST says (12:43 PM): apparently i did chiseen yun says (12:44 PM): ahh well you still have plenty of time to find one that matches you chiseen yun says (12:44 PM): oh btw smarts as in both street smarts and acedemics xstarBURST says (12:44 PM): haha yeah apparently find a guy that's right for me is hard. chiseen yun says (12:45 PM): haha well your just a bit picky chiseen yun says (12:45 PM): jsut a bit... xstarBURST says (12:45 PM): i don't think so xstarBURST says (12:45 PM): i just think i'm too sarcastic chiseen yun says (12:46 PM): sarcasm makes the world turns lol.. chiseen yun says (12:46 PM): personally its one of hte qualities i look for in a girl haha xstarBURST says (12:47 PM): lol like her? chiseen yun says (12:47 PM): lol yes like her ;D chiseen yun says (12:47 PM): except i noticed that her sarcasm hurts a lot more then most people's haha xstarBURST says (12:48 PM): haha that's a good thing chiseen yun says (12:48 PM): why do u say that? xstarBURST says (12:48 PM): well she cna defend herself xstarBURST says (12:48 PM): the cool version of the gangster girl. chiseen yun says (12:48 PM): haha true i guess if hte girl has sarcasm she can usually defend herself chiseen yun says (12:49 PM): well of course us guys want a girl with smarts too just like you girls want guys that aren't an dombo! (spam filter misspelling)! (spam filter misspelling) xstarBURST says (12:49 PM): lol. xstarBURST says (12:49 PM): yup. chiseen yun says (12:50 PM): what are your opinion on whether the couple are athletic or not? xstarBURST says (12:50 PM): good for them xstarBURST says (12:50 PM): have healthy kids. chiseen yun says (12:50 PM): ah ic ic yeah and itsa great way to have fun with them too chiseen yun says (12:50 PM): so i'm guessing soulmates will endup liking similar sports eh? xstarBURST says (12:51 PM): haha i suppose xstarBURST says (12:51 PM): but not always chiseen yun says (12:51 PM): true there is that margin of difference chiseen yun says (12:51 PM): and that margin of difference is probably keeps the relationship alive right? xstarBURST says (12:52 PM): yeah chiseen yun says (12:52 PM): i mean whats the fun in having a significant other that always likes the same thing as you...you wouldn't get a different opinion xstarBURST says (12:52 PM): haha yeah xstarBURST says (12:53 PM): well, my brain just farted again >> xstarBURST says (12:53 PM): we shall continue this later. chiseen yun says (12:53 PM): yum chiseen yun says (12:53 PM): lol yes we will xstarBURST says (12:53 PM): Ice cream! i scream for ice cream! chiseen yun says (12:54 PM): i-i-i-i-i-ice cream~! chiseen yun says (12:54 PM): we will now be back after commercials more to come~
Cause we wouldn't want to think that you eavesdropped on someone else's MSN convo -rolleyes Like Isla Fisher :O
lol...Its good.........for a thing you do when you're bored, but not as entertaining as one would think. As stated above, waaay too long. ^.^ And the colour changes makes it hard for the eye to read. I got through all the girl types and up to the msn conversation, but there was no waay I'd read the msn convo....well, not now at least. I do think that the types of girls/guys you've described are waaaaay waaayyy too limited tho~ The girls all seem to be different variants of the same category. But then again, you're trying to bag them out, so I suppose you can only really target one category. My two cents. ~
I read it.. well, skimmed some. Nothing funny... well like how the OP put it, nothing that funny that would make me laugh like an idiot... I didn't even laugh -mellow And I wonder are the writers teenagers or sth? What do you mean by 'quite accurate'? I didn't even see any type of bf/gf that I would relate to.
ummm if u didn't notice the sub headings...they were general headings and not all detailed bout every type...i bet whoever wrote this isn't so stupid to find every type of person and write a detail article bout em... oh and since its just general headings..that doesn't mean it applies to everyone...so np if u didn't laugh even though most ppl did... i ono if u know how to deduct then you'll see the language used are of course used by teens....
Of course I know it's written by teenages, or why else would I mention that? I was being polite in my usage of the English language, I left a room for you to say "NO" just in case it wasn't written by teenagers. -rolleyes It's not exactly flattering if you are an adult who wrote it, and someone thought it came from a teenager...
