You know the beginning of a relationship, it's all love hugs kisses "I miss you" ect...basically the honeymoon period. Yet how do some people cope once their honeymoon period goes. Do you fight a lot more? Do you notice the flaws in your partner? Do you begin to feel the relationship is wrong for you? Or are you still the happy couple that you originally began as? Feel you're spending less time with your partner? Me and my "ah Jeh" have the same problem, we feel that our bfs are phasing us out of their lives. You know when texts and calls become less, and you don't feel like the top of their priority list even though they say that we are. The only difference is that now, my "ah jeh" starts to feel bored with her bf once the honeymoon period was over as he began to go back into old habits. Myself, I feel that my bf doesn't seem to pay attention to my feelings or understand how i feel as well as he did when we first started dating. Is it a thing? To give someone your undivided attention until you got them in the palm of your hands, then just not care much after/ What are your opinions? And also yeah, the stuff at the beginning too. How do YOU cope once your out of the "honeymoon" phase?
this happens to most people... happened to me. i don't really care about their flaws...that is if i 'luv' them. i did pay less attention to her, but we all have our own lives. there wasn't much "i miss u" stuff... or anything similar. u'll probably get bored of them faster if they don't have their own lives... always around u, sending u flowers... u'll get annoyed of that pretty fast. but there needs to be a balance...
hmm... after my 'honeymoon period' , i felt like we went bk to how we were before we officailly became bf/gf...we rarely have fights and if we do...one of us always make the peace first cos we dont wana let it ruin our relationship..i'm content atm...and right now due to school n timetable issues...we are actually spending less time with each other...but to me yes it does bother me but i know in my heart n mind he cares and we do text/call so it makes it alot more easier wen we dont see each other.. i guess for some people when ur out othe honeymoon phase...u become less attached n less reliable on ur partner..as you become more older or mature...so when things begin to change...u would notice it but it really wouldnt bother you...
that's exactly how my relationship was.... she went to school a little far away, so we saw each other on the weekends and chatted over internet... and sometimes on the fone. i was content as well... i liked how everything was... but we were really missing the early phase. after 2 yrs of that, we broke up, we were together for 5 yrs tho... not bad
we've been together for nearly 2 years nnow and so far things things are good...apart from the distance thing..but when its like school holidays we always get together and go out on dates etc...that makes up for some of the days when we couldnt see each other...
so that explains ur 'poem'.. many of the stuff u mention do happen.. and one begins to wonder if something is wrong with the relationship.. perhaps one is right..
Phasing out is a normal thing... as wheezo has said, everyone has their own lives to live. Best thing is to relax a bit on the relationship and let things go their own way. Guess that guys in general somewhat still like a bit of personal free space when they wouldnt be hampered by their gfs. If you laid back a little, your bf might even pay more attention to you as he might think that you dont like him anymore.
Yea back in the days there was this trap that men used, called marriage. They'd give you the honeymoon and then theyd marry you and you couldnt escape cuz it was shameful for a women to be divorced n shit from her husband. but nowadays its changed and that perception changed as well. but men are still the same haha =P But yea you do sorta need your own life.... and when ur partner has their own lives it makes being in a relationship that much better cuz u realise that that person chose you to be apart of their lives.. Least thats what i think..
if xiaoja is referring to my poem, i guess part of this is about my poem. In general, I guess I could see it through and give him some space. Just I think that there is too much space I guess... Because he works full time and I going to college, so it's like, our timetable never fits to see each other. And it could be my imagivination, but as we begin to see each other less, he's always out with his friends and he has a lot of friends who are girls, but it's like, he hangs out and texts n messages them just as much as I do, and he like known some of these girls ranging from 1 week to like a few months. I fear that if I don't try see him and meet his standards he would stray and find another. Believe it or not he broke up with his ex gf JUST to go out with me...so in other words, when we was seeing each other, he was still with her, and then broke up with her before getting with me, that time i didn't even know about it, till like after a few months I asked him how him n his ex broke up... I'm scared tbh... scared that because he's out of the honeymoon phase, he's bored of me or something...
well.... just to be honest ok? if he did that to his ex before he can juz do the same thing to you... he can also break up with u and go for another girl.. and.. well i think ppl don't always stay in that phase cuz ppl only stay in that phase for a few times in a relationship like.....the beginning of date... after getting married and i think this is what keeping ppl staying together.. cuz if everyday is a honeymoon phase.. then very soon u will get bored about it.. so i think it is juz time to cool down a little... and everything will be fine once both of you have time.. (don't even know what the hell i am typing=3=)
hahaha, I know. I actually said to him that what he did to his ex, he could pretty much do to me. (we was having a sort of arguement) he just glared at me and told me to shut up. that's why I always interogate him when he's out, but now I'm trying to quit that because I know I don't like it when he does it to me. Aiyaaaaa.... I don't understand how to build the trust in a relationship when there are so many what-ifs and stuff like that...
well its very hard for a person to keep up with the texts and calls after the honeymoon period is over, cos it cost a lot of money. but as i have no/little experience i can't rele help u but u should love him nevertheless and he should love u and there should be an ongoing trust, i know it seems hard but if u rele can't trust him then stick to ur instinct to guide u through, maybe he is cheating on u.
i know...i WANT to trust him...but its hard...aiyaaaa..... I kinda like the honeymoon period, lol, your so blinded by love that it seems nothing can go wrong lol
yeah...honeymoon period is the best....that and before u officially "start" too bad that bubble will burst after a while and u have to deal with another ones' flaws Best is to talk to him about it if it really bothers u... but i guess what comes after the honeymoon period is his true personality...
yeah...I do want to talk. but he DOESNT! he HATES sitting around and talking, even if i burst into tears, he would hug me, but hates to sit and talk...
ok....so...u really wanna stay with a guy who doesnt know how to communicate or even sit down & listen to u....? i mean...come on...if theres a problem it needs to be solved... if u wanna solve a problem u need to talk....
