so my friend (call him Bob) Bob has a crush on me known him for 4 years, not very close within the last 1 and 1/2 he thought something was ~sparking~ between us, and thought we were heading into a relationship talk about Akward! anyways, so Bob has a roommate (let's call him Ryan) I've only met him a few times, when Bob has invited me over, or when I've gone out for dinner with Bob and he some how invites Ryan to join us (although Bob thought it was a date too, just confusing this guy is) and well I've kinda got a crush on Ryan he's a cool dude, and i think i would like to get to know him more what do i do? i dont have Ryan's number and do i ask Bob for it? . . . and even if anything was to happen would Ryan be ok with this? cause he knows his close friend/roommate likes me eh . . . Also to add on top of this, I'm just too chicken shit to do anything I'm not one to make the first move
It really depends on the relationship between Bob and Ryan. If they are just random people that met because they became roommates, then I guess its fine. But make sure that they aren't going to be living together in the long run. If it was me, I wouldn't do anything.
Your instinct is correct. Trust your own judgment. Don't make the first move, it is bound to cause a stir. Leave them both well alone and let them be room mates till eternity. There are many cool dudes out there, keep life simple stupid and be happy with no complexity and guilt.
Best is to let Ryan make the move (if hes interested in you). Or another way is to tell Bob that you dont have any romantic feeling for him and pursue your heart to go to Ryan (however this might not be the wisest thing to do as Bob might have negative feelings about you).
just wait and see what happens.... if bob makes his first movement, then tell him the truth...otherwise you would hurt him later..
Bob has made a move, several times just worried that Ryan might not even think about things becuase he knows his good friend likes me
too complicated...look for someone new... things would be destroyed...if u must, stop seeing bob///cus he will think u were using him...and dont even talk to him...so that way...he is out of the picture...give it like 6 months before talking to him again...and by that time...u r ryan///whoever would be good friends
is bob a really understanding person???? if he is i think he'll be ok with it. talking bout things is the only way to get an understanding about it. i was kinda in a situation like urs b4. me and a good friend of my were trying to get at the same girl. he couldn't do it so i got at her. we're still good friends.
if that ryan dude doesn't have feelings for you then bob knows what happen when you hit on ryan, both of em will not like you that's your risk...now make a choice (the pressure haha....)
if ryan n bob are good friends, most likely nothing is going to happen... you'll just make everything all awkward. i would say forget about it... that's what i do and i've done. talk to bob and make sure he doesn't get the wrong idea... and maybe sometime down the line it might work for you but not now.
nope, well not yet at least actually he is, but still not a bad idea cause Bob's got a real good bod yea, because i'm so intimidated by the whole chaos I think that will be how i will deal with it, . . . by not dealing with it and yea, there are tons of other guys oh well . . .
yeah I probably wouldn't do anything cus I'd be scared of what'd happen so just wait until ryan makes a move, and if he doesn't... well let's just say there are other fish in the sea
not being funny but... if ryan knows that bob likes you, and they're friends (if close friends even), then chances are waiting for ryan to make a move is like a never... I been in this situation, haha, you got to understand that if you dont do ANYTHING, then your probably gonna be like "what if" and "maybe", and you would probably kick yourself one day when like x years go down the line, and ryan might say "I remember when I liked you, when I first met you..." or something along those lines. Hmm...Maybe make it CLEAR to Bob that NOTHING is going to happen between the two of you, that you like him as a friend, or as a brother even then say that it is just incest to date your brother, even if your not really siblings, the feeling is like that. Thennnn.....perhaps make small moves on Ryan, a bit of flirting I guess... Like when you next go out with Bob and Ryan, just be like, "hey, whenever I see you, I always forget to take your number down." And then ask him his interests or something and find something similar to your own, then be like "You wanna get a coffee or something sometime?" Honestly, don't even have to outright make it obvious you like Ryan, just begin with the basics, cause you don't want to go bungee jumping without making sure that you're actually safe and secure before jumping, gotta have preparation firstttt!
yea this is what i fear is happening i told my friend about what the people said in this thread about yes there are many fish in the sea so move on, and it's not like i'm attached yet, so dont become attached but then my friend said "yes, but there aren't many fish in YOUR sea" it's because i'm picky, and it's really hard for me to actually like someone so when my friends see even this slight glint of me possibily liking someone, they shove me in quick HA HA HA i dont know, who knows, this is just a crush, and crushes do come and go
hmm yeah if you're not going to do anything, then most likely nothing much will happen. It's going to be hard to get to know Ryan well if your only contact is thru Bob who likes you. I reckon you should tell Bob you just want to be friends only, then somehow tell him to organise outtings and get Ryan and maybe some other friends to tag along. Then from there try and make your move? Goodluck though, and don't be too picky with guys!! haha
This is the reason why, that if I had a crush on a girl and I had an intent on "getting with her", I would NEVER invite anyone to come between us. You'd have awkward situations like this where Bob will feel like a loser if you get together with Ryan. If I was Bob, I'd regret introducing Ryan to you and would definitely feel some type of internal hate/jealousy towards Ryan for SNATCHING my opportunity. But that's just me.
^guess rsx got a point... but at the end of the day, I say don't live life regretting and just go for it, lifes too short to just sit around and wait. Get his number and arrange outting WITHOUT bob!
