Cows!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Kachi_no_Kemuri, Oct 23, 2007.

  1. Kachi_no_Kemuri

    Kachi_no_Kemuri Well-Known Member

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    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM -- You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon(tm) and market them world-wide.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. Both are mad.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    A SWISS CORPORATION -- You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

    A HINDU CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You worship them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

    A WELSH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

    ENRON CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
     
  2. chickenutbread

    chickenutbread Well-Known Member

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    hahaha. funny stuff. true i suppose. where'd you get this from?
     
  3. The_Jelly

    The_Jelly NSFW? :P

    Lol, where did you find this?
     
  4. chi_man

    chi_man Well-Known Member

    lol, they're quite amusing XD
     
  5. Taxloss

    Taxloss Stripper Vicar

    Ahhaha, really funny stuff!

    -lol
     
  6. xmichelly

    xmichelly Well-Known Member

    haha I remember this!
    old, but still makes me laugh :)
     
  7. philostrate

    philostrate Well-Known Member

    A BRITISH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. Both are mad.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.


    LOL that's hilarious!!!
     
  8. BigM

    BigM Well-Known Member

    I remember reading this a while ago--Still is funny as
     
  9. dim8sum

    dim8sum ♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪....

    lol ....

    the enron one was just too confusing...
     
  10. nyckeion

    nyckeion ....Boo....

    i thought it was too long and too much but i guess its just as the last sentence is most important....... public buys your bull
     
  11. Atreides

    Atreides Member

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    this is very funny especially A FRENCH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
     
  12. hiake

    hiake Vardøgr of da E.Twin

    Just read the catch phrase... That's the essence of the snippet :p