xlai-wong-baox just calm down. it was your choice to read "all 12 bloody pages". this IS a public forum. if you dont like what other people write, just dont read it, or just keep it for yourself. your flame is unwanted and uncalled for.
Its one thing to give constructive criticism, its quite another to attack me personally. Apparently messaging guy's first and initiating conversations over msn and have long 1-2hr conversations means the girl isn't interested in you and asking a guy to go shopping and eating is also implies get away from me, I'm not interested in you. Also asking for his # also implies she's not interested in you. Spare their feelings? Its girls like you that give women a bad name. You lack self-esteem to tell a guy straight out in the beginning that your not interested in them, but prefer to not say anything and let the guy continue to court you all the while all his time he has invested is wasted on you, could have been used to go after another girl. Eventually the guy becomes your emotional tampon and absorbs up all that emotional crap you dump on him. Eventually the guy realizes it later and then all the girl has to say was "Oh I didn't want to hurt your feelings, so that is why I didn't tell you because I'm a nice person, almost as innocent as an angel". So let me see here, you reap the benefits of the attention he flowers you with, but then you can't tell him straight up and give him an honest answer that your not interested and expect him to go read your mind all the while thinking your a nice kind little girl for stringing him along and not saying anything. Now lets not forget about some girls who like to play hard to get as well. Then there is the other types of girls who avoids guys they like or reject them because it was too much for them to handle and I guess its all the guys fault because he does not possess the ability to read people's minds to figure out exactly what the hell she wants. Now let me switch shoes with you, would you have preferred if a guy kept stringing you along all the while Trying to be nice, and not say anything hoping you'll get his hints and then you spend mths chasing him only to realize later on all your efforts was in vain, or would you rather him just be straight up right at the get go as soon as he knows you like him?. Then there is of course the matter of her blocking me off msn, facebook, giving me the cold shoulder at school and pretending to not see me for no apparent reason a few mths after I asked her out. What you can't even say a simple hi? Now I've had female friends tell me they are still friends with guys they have rejected and I have guy friends who tell me after getting rejected they still hang out with the girl. Oh get over yourself already your not the sweet innocent girl you think you are. So folks who is really the bitch/asshole here? Animals? Ah yes I remember talking to my goldfish about it just j/k lol. I did honestly go and almost get myself drunk over it. I had like six beers and was tipsy afterwards. I don't drink so that experience was quite different. Anyways afterwards I realize she wasn't worth getting myself all messed up over with so I stopped.
woow...u guys really fart alot...lol. wolf, whatever u do, dont fall for angie...she is one *those* :/yeah
wouldn't every relationship that doesn't work be "time wasted"? and also some people are different =\ maybe your friends are ok with being friends they reject. my friends are too. but i'm definately not one of them. and also she could just the whole time consider you her good friend or something. good friends can talk to each other for long time. girls with guy friends can ask them to go shopping with them. all that crap. they can walk to class and stuff. they can also ask for your number because why can't good friends have each other numbers? i mean you guys didn't officially go out =\ yet you're talking like she's your girlfriend =\. seems like you're kind of obsessive imho. =\ and you i guess were thinking she like you and wre more than just friends when she was thinking you were only a friend.. not trying to personally attack here
Well thats a relationship and no I disagree with that because you actually gain experience when your a couple therefore it wouldn't be a waste of time. In my case since I wasn't in a relationship with her, I consider it a waste of time due to the fact I could have chased other girls although others might disagree saying I got experience out of it too. I wouldn't use such strong words as obsession, it was more like a crush. Hey I didn't go stalking her house or anything. Yes she considers me such a good friend to ask to go shopping and eat and for my # that she has decided to give me the cold shoulder now eh? Regardless of whether you can continue being friends like before, I consider it quite rude if you don't acknowledge or say hi to someone you know. Is saying hi going to kill you? I say hi to teachers I hate too or girls that like me but I aren't interested in too. I felt deceived by what she told me and what she actually did most of the time and I didn't even get into the whole cellphone thingy she had going on that was quite rude. When I tried to find out more about her and I asked her things about her, she sounded innocent well at least to the naked eye anyways. She was telling me how she is a nice girl, who is very ethical and stuff. Who doesn't do bad things and breaks the law, and how she was an straight A student and stuff and blah blah blah. She was getting worst marks then me in class. Her actions contradicted what she said. Of course when your head over heels for someone, you obviously lose all common sense and don't see those bad things. The way I see it was after I asked her out, she obviously knew I liked her and when she was avoiding me and I didn't show her it bothered me and add to that fact she missed the attention she came back pretending to give me little scraps of hope that I had a chance so that she could get her ways with help from her HW or whatever stuff she could dump onto me including her emotional crap and I guess she wanted that feeling back but once school was done and she stopped seeing me for 4mths that feeling faded, therefore she didn't need me around anymore thus deciding to hell with him and now ignores me, which is exactly why I would classify her as a bitch. It wasn't merely the fact that she rejected me that pissed me off, it was how she dealt and reacted with it and now acts all snobbish and stuff. If she had acted differently even showing that she would like to continue being friends regardless of how it would have turned out or at least be friendly or something then my perception of her might have been different. Put yourself in my shoes, you were head over heels for someone, and you spent all your time and effort chasing them for an entire year, trying to improve yourself in every aspect. I had to literally talk to more girls just so I could become more comfortable talking to the opposite sex and develop my social skills. I went shopping for new cloths, totally revamped my look, everything. I exercised like hell just so I could get the body and abs. I had to jog every damn day for 45min till my feet were hurting and I could no longer do it. I had to change my diet and watch what I ate. I ate nothing but oatmeal for breakfast, salad and chicken for lunch every week for 2 mths. I was asking for relationship advice as you already know. I don't really have a sense of humor but I tried to develop that by trying to watch alot of comedies and reading books. I tried to make my conversations more interesting. I almost had a heart attack when I actually approached her for the first time, my hands were literally sweating and my face was all red, and I was breathing heavily. It might have seemed trivia to everything one, but it was no easy task for me. When she stopped showing up for class I had to come every week to the computer lab even if it meant I had to get up early just so I might get lucky and she would be there. I would have given the world to her, as you can tell I put my education, finances, emotions on the line just so I could be with her and help her out. After going through that mess for her and then seeing how she now treats me like a nobody, how would you feel if the person acted like that towards you? My guess is you'd probably feel at least a little bit of resentment and bitterness towards them and how foolish you were to fall for someone like that. Apparently some ppl like xlai-wong-baox give up on the first sign of obstacles and difficulties as evident by her statement about not pursuing her because she is out of my league. I guess according to her books, we take the easy way out and give up when something is too hard. Gee if everyone thought like that and gave up, what would we accomplish as humans? Thats like the people telling the wright brothers, human beings will never be flying in the air. If they had just given up then we wouldn't have airplanes now would we? Good things come to those who don't give up and work hard.
I was hardly attacking you personally -_-, just pointing out the fact that it isn't the girls fault that you wasted your time as you say in ur first post, but is in fact yours. She didn't force you to keep it up for a year, yet you chose to blame her for wasting your time. They say don't judge a book by its cover, yet it seems that is exactly what you did. I guess its somewhat a learning curve, maybe next time you should get to know someone better before falling for them completely. ummm... same thing goes for the post above, I mean you're acting as if she intentionally wasted all your time but if you had asked her out sooner you obviously wouldn't have wasted so much time over it. so, again, it's not really her fault that you wasted your time.
hm. well future advice you shouhldn't change so much for a girl girl should like you for you. alllllso i never went out with this girl before but we stopped talking. and i don't even say hi to her and i ignore the fact that she's there period.. because..... i hate her guts ^_^ yeah. iono. just some people do that. have you been in a relationshpi before? and yes liek yesari said you should have asked her out sooner. to know sooner and also. after a while, say if the girl likes you, she'll just start to see you as a friend... i heard......
The personal attack statement was meant for xlai-wong-baox. If not being able to read her mind not knowing what she was thinking, then I admit thats my fault. If not knowing how to decipher her mixed signals she was sending, then it was my fault. The fact of the matter is she said something this time then next time she would say something else. Like for example the lunches, the first 1-2 times she said no and I was beginning to take this as rejection and her saying no meaning disinterest but then the third time she agrees to go, which made me think is she playing hard to get? I do not possess the ability to know if a girl is just playing hard to get or not and she did flirt with me on msn which I left out in the other thread which made it even more confusing. Just like that comment she made one day when I was with her at the mall where she said " you don't have to come with me if you don't want to", other forum members were also confused. I didn't know at the time whether this meant " leave me alone" or "I'm lonely eating lunch alone'. One or two people on the forum suggested that this meant she implied I didn't want to be with her and I don't like her. So you see what she did was very confusing. Regardless of If I blame her or not she is still a bitch for acting that way afterwards and that fact is undeniable.
Well she must have done something to piss you off. In my case, I didn't do anything. In fact I backed so I don't see what her problem is. Well obviously not looking at how bad I messed up with this one. Well at the time I didn't realize these things, you know I was just like most average shy guys, scared of rejection and stuff but I learned from my mistakes and in the future I'm gonna do that. In fact I should add in another tip. You know what now that I think of it, at one point after my first time talking to her, her body language was very negative and I should have stopped then, but my friend who was also there and he said I did good and it was fine, therefore I thought I wasn't seeing the whole picture and thus decided to continue to pursue her. I guess I should have trusted my intuition. This also makes me think about all those times when I kind of had a hunch if I knew a girl was interested in me or not. Back in HS this girl kept on scratching my shoulders and I was like wtf? She wrote in my yearbook that I was quiet but thats what made me cute. I didn't take that stuff seriously and besides I wasn't interested in her. She is kind of like this girl except you know right away what type of person she is by how she talks and stuff. She wasn't two faced like this one. Then there was another girl, who saw me draw some pictures on my folder at the first day of class, and then she kept on asking me questions about me. Are you blah blah blah ethnicity? Do u like to watch Chinese tv series? "Who's your favorite actor? Then after asking me about series she would ask me to borrow a movie, so I lend her a few movies, then she was getting ridiculous, asking me to lend her a whole series and bring a whole spindle to school. I was like I'm not bringing a whole spindle to school, then she is ok so just movies then. Then one day she sees me in the library reading a karate book and she walks up to me. What martial arts are you taking? What level belt? Where is the location? It got up to the point where it was frinking annoying. Like literally every damn time she saw me, she would be asking me this or that. Now I can't say whether she liked me or not but thats just my hunch. Another time I was on the subway, I was standing beside these two Asian girls and they are saying something to each other in another language and giggling about it. Then all of a sudden one of the girls just bumps into me. No other passenger on the train had moved, not even her friend. She bumps into me with a big smile on her face and says sorry. Hell I didn't care and was only focuses on making it to catch my bus so I just shrugged it off but I would assume thats a signal know? All these girls were Asian, which makes me wonder, would it have made a difference if this chick I pursued was Asian and not some other heritage. I don't recall any white doing any of these things. Do I stand a much better chance with Asian girls or does it not make a difference? 16. Only approach girls that give you the signal, if a girl doesn't give you the signal, your asking for trouble when you approach her.
u fart a lot and u talk too much bs dudeeee..... one of those....as in a cool chica one like u could never get riiiight.... -lol
youre right...doesnt sound like you were obsessed. honestly, looks like you tried too hard. next time, get a girl that likes u for u. and be yourself. gonna be hard trying to put up a fake act for the whole relationship. but i gotta agree with what lai wong bao said. @ Dann. yea this is a PUBLIC forum. so he should be ready to hear the good and bad comments. if he just wants to hear positive comments then he should just write on his myspace blogs or whatever and hear comments from his friends.
i kinda agree to what ur saying.... this aint fairytale land and u should expect to get both negative and positive replies.... but but..isnt it enough now....? i mean i think he got the point now -^_^
wow way too much flaming and random ranting to read.... either way I like a story that has some kind of ending
I know I'm a bitch. At least I admit it My method has always been to get people drunk. It works 90% of the time.
no need to defend Angie..hehe...she can hold her own ... I'm in good company , I C. -lol http://www.dramasian.com/forum/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=434059 okay Angie...I'm gamed...let's do it..."let make love not warr" -lol
Well I didn't even really get an opportunity to really talk to her in person until the second semester. I only really spoke to her twice prior to getting the msn and then she stopped showing up for class so what am I suppose to do? I only had msn to communicate with her and by the end of the semester, she moved outta the city and went to go live back home so obviously can't get a date there not to mention she probably wouldn't have gone out with me since she hardly knew me and I did ask her out to lunch and stuff when school started again and also tried to ask her out to go places like to this Asian mall and such since she isn't Asian and I thought I'd try to be a little different. Her response was mixed, first it was no, then yes, then later she even suggested once she gets her car back we can go. So I'm sitting there going urh.......-huh? This all occurred between the first week of school to 6 weeks into our studies when I finally popped the question and made it obvious to her. Its really confusing to a guy when a girl does that. I didn't know what to think anymore -shrug. Yes in the future I ain't putting in half the effort I put into her anymore. I'm gonna stop caring. If the girl says yes then good if she says no then cya because one of the things I learn from this the more you care, the more likely your going to get hurt and be disappointed.
