ok answer this truthfully after the initial honey moon period of the relationship had ended who do you think about first? your partner, or yourself? like if planning a weekend with friends do you think like this? "oh that sounds like fun, i'd totally love to do that, let's see if (bf/gf name) wants to do it first" or is it like this? "oh (bf/gf name) would love that, i dont really care about it, but I'll go along to make everyone happy" or here is another set of questions when planning a casual dinner, whether it's cooking or going out, no special occasion to be celebrating do you 1) think what your partner might enjoy? 2) see what your in the mood for/think about what you haven't had in a long time
Whoever is doing the actual planning gets to be put first and foremost... If the other doesn't like it, do the planning next time to have their dream vacation/dinner/outing. It's not about being selfish, rather, be reasonable with the whole planning thing -- the person doing planning not only to have headaches over what to plan, he/she has to worry about the significant other's "mood" too? Of course, best of both worlds = plan everything TOGETHER.
For me it is totally based on how much i like the person (if i see a future with them) if i just like the person, than it's me if it's i REALLY like the person, it's usually them but if it's I love the person, it's always them, until i figure i should be a little selffish for myself sometimes
it's hard to say coz for part 1 my bf n my fds r usually just "hi, bye" fds so he doesn't really show up to our gatherings... my last bf hated my fds anyway... infact he hated everyone around me including my family members... part 2... errr... it's more like i'll stick to cooking wot i can n the limited stuff i know that won't send him straight to the hospital
i usually put ppl b4 myself. when my gf suggest things to do and shes really excited about it, i'll go with it, but i'll also think about if i want to do it or not and if i'll enjoy it or not
come to think of it i think i do that too... we always go to the movies he likes to watch... but he doesn't ever wanna watch the stuff i like -down
hahahahaha... that's not sacrifice... i'm just a "okai... anything u say" person taking a bullet for him would b sacrifice kekeke... n lucky i haven't had that opportunity yet... -whistle
whers that married guy on the fourm...i forgot this usernam nice guys like me think of others first =p
^ hmm does anyone really trust that kdotc puts others first? jk man well anyways its depends on the situation, but usually when you are married you usually think about the other person mood before yourself
i dunno, i think after a honey moon period, people stop trying to please the other as much, because they've already Got the person HA HA HA but on another view, often you dont really have to please them anymore, because you spend so much time together (like after 20 years) that you become one person, that what one wants, the other will probebly want it too eh, you might want to watch out cause there should be a limit to it you should be allowed to be selffish once in a while he might like you, only cause he feels like everything he likes you like too and the one day you freak out and want to do one thing your way it may cause a big stir, and a comment like "I didn't know you were like that" therefore he might not know much about you at all
i like to put my bf first and he does the same to me..=) plus wenever we go out togethr...we plan it together..and if we go cinema..he'd let me pick and i'll say he can pick..but then if he insists on my choice then we go see the film i chose but next time it would be his turn..so its fair..
haha... i don't think it's selfish doing things u like with ur other half... i mean u just wanna share the stuff u like with the person u love... nothing selfish abt that... if they dun like it then u mite just share it with ur girl friends next time n i don't think doing something the other person like is a very selfless act either... it's getting to know that person n finding out wot they like... n it's great if u have both have a blast... n if not at least appreciate or bf/gf is making the effort n give some kinda acknowledgement... but no... never got anything untill i decided to leave... ah well... not important anymore...
i think of both --' like if we were picking a movie.. i would suggest something i think they would like too but if they say no and suggest something else.. i wouldnt go along with it if i rly didnt want to see it go the sunny way.. COMPROMISE (like wilfred laurier )
i mostly think on what he wants... except when i really dont want something... i would say something about it
haha i think you kinda have to consider both of you mostly them first then you, but if your really not in the mood umm then it would kinda suck unless your putting effort. also you gotta think bout your partner too. relationships don't just work with one it takes 2 to tango.
