whooops, i ment for this to be in the relationship forum I'm just curious for people's opinions. Tell me if I'm being overly emotional about my decision or tel me if i'm right. I had a best friend in college. But we had a falling out. Basically I got really mad at him one day and just BLEW UP on him. It took me about a day to cool off. But because of that he chose not to be my friend anymore and stopped speaking to me for 3 years. So he just recently got back in touch with me. And it now telling me he's always had feelings for me and wants to us to get together. Honestly in the past I had a bit of a crush on him too, and we both know each other SOOO well. But not only did I say no, I never want to touch the subject of the idea of us getting together. To have someone not speak to me for three years, just because I had a stressful day (it's not the first time, and although i'm not proud of it, that is the way I am, and I doubt that will be the last time), in fact he has seen me to it before, it was never him to have accidently caused it opps got side track well yea, for someone to not speak to me for three years, and then cause me lots of pain (like talking shit behind my back, and this rift actually caused a huge rift between our friends, because they all had to choose sides) it was just such a dramatic experiance, am i being dumb? the past is the past, and the guy is actually worth giving a chance? (if he was my bf, i know he would take care of me, and spoil me) or am i doing the right thing? you can't get rid of history
Well, after reading your story.... Since you said he was you best friend in college, and due to some arguments you 2 were falling apart... Maybe you should have speak to him back then... instead he to you... But he is really an B@tch, the he backstabbed you then.... I mean why do you friends in college have to choose sides.... I mean even talking behind you back, wasn't he your best friend........-_-2 Since he make your friends choose sides, and even let them choose sides, I guess he didnt considered you to be his best friend.... And after 3 years no talking and ignoring, he cant expect that you can accept him again.... I mean 3 years, and coming back and say *I love you*....<_< uhmmm, well I can think in 2 different aspects, i could back up the he part too =)
Seems like your life is always full of dramas.-confused IMO, you should give it a try. Whats past is past and the future is in both off your hands. You should sit down and talk over the event. If you said he was your best friend, even more so you should mend this issue. Both of you are at faults in this situation. You for not controlling your temper and him for not being more understanding. Also, best friend dont come easily in our life, so why waste the opportunity to get one back when you have the chance?
A best friend wont talk shit behind your back...no matter what happened... Will you trust him, when you guys get together...because he just ignored you for 3 years... for one tiny mistake that you made...I think you dont deserve to be punished like that...And he had people to choose side...which is really bullcrap... Think about it, how long will he then ignore you, if you guys get into a fight, during a relationship?! I think you should just be friends with him...
Man do i know about drama, my friends and family think of my life as a soap opera that they always want updates on we have actually had a LONG LONG LONG sit down and to put EVERYTHING out into open air. It was one intense convesation. By the end of the conversation he was the one crying and kneeling at my foot (like in those korean dramas, oh yea he's korean) To add to drama, it was the day before my birthday, and he refused to leave until after midnight. I couldn't figure out why, until it was after midnight, he wanted to be the first one to say Happy Birthday to me. I want us to become friends again, but recent actions had left me kinda shaky and mad at him (i'll be fine in a few months, i just need a cooling off period). Like the fact that comes out of the blue after three year and tries to kiss me. I thought that was a little too forward. I guess I should share a bit more of the story. This coming out of the blue and kissing me, happened a few months after he and his gf (of 4 years) broke up. And he claims that he's always had feelings for me and he was not on a rebond, instead taking this to opportunity to try something he had thought about a lot. What about when he and his gf were dating? he kept his feelings in check, because he was committed to this other girl.
Hmmm..... in light of new evidence, you should keep him and yourself in check. Dont get yourself involved more than a friend or best friend stage. He might be genuinely wanting your friendship back but i dont think its wise at the moment to be involved romantically with him. Let him resolve his internal issue about his breakup and see what happens later cuz he might be at a phase where he feels lonely and needs some loving from the opposite sex. If hes meant to be your bf, he will be your bf one day but make sure that it is not bc of his break up but it is from deep down of his heart that he wants to be with you.
oh i'm pretty sure he's genuine cause actually when we were friends and hanging out lots of people questioned our friendship i think half of it is my issue too i just dont feel fine in this situation, it's like bad karma hanging over head all the time
If you dont feel fine... tell him right away.... dont "tor laai dai shui". The earlier you tell him, the less chance of any misunderstanding or discomfort.
Omg don't tell me this was the best friend whom you were sleeping around with the brother at the time?
WHOAH, you've got several stories mix in your head and just random junk thrown in too so um, no no no no no no
You could write a book or a script for a drama after all your life experiences. Well it seems like he is on the rebound but if you think it will work out why not? Also, when you blew off on him did you tell him sorry? Maybe that is why he did not talk to you for such a long time; or it may even be that his ex did not want him to hang out with other girls. Maybe she might have felt insecure that you were best friends and that other people were saying that you guys might be more than friends.-detect
me and his ex were actually really close friends as well after are fall out, she tried many times to talk to him about me, to patch things up (she never told me this, but my other friends did) I never got to say sorry, I didn't just blow up at him, i did it two other friends as well (one being his ex) and they forgave, well several days later, but still they did
uh well I know everyone's telling you to give it a shot .. but I'd advise you not to .. just the fact that he decided not to talk to you for years just because of that one little blowup makes him seem like a bad friend .. and if he's a bad friend, how will he be as a bf?? and sure the past is the past but I seriously doubt he's changed any
^^ oh... Well I am not sure exactly what you may have told him but considering that you guys were best friends it might have hurt him a lot. I think it would have been totally different if you blew up him when he was alone instead of in front of his ex and his other friend (even though they were your friends as well). You also said that it was not him that caused you to blow up and maybe he needed time to cool down from the argument (but 3 years is a little too long). I think the blame goes to the both of you (he should have forgave, and you should have said sorry) but I think he crossed the line when he started talking about you behind your back and caused your friends to choose sides. He should have been more mature to confront you about how he felt about the situation instead of not talking to you for such a long period of time. Either way I think its safer to take the friend route because if something does happen this might cause another rift among your friends. Also, its kind of surprising that he came on to you too strong after not talking to you for 3 years. It seems as though he is sincere in being apologetic and hopefully you told him sorry as well. Since you guys are both at fault you should forget the past and but I think you should not move too fast into a relationship.
iight here's my history: 4-6 years old = 2 years of kindergarten (yes i left back in kindergarten because i was too young) 6-11 years old = 1st-5th grade (receive a honorable science award) 12-15 years old = Junior HS (receive bronze and other awards) 16-18 years old = HS (got an 86 grade point avg, found my first GF) 18-19 years old = College (got up to sophomore year and then drop out because my skool fuk me up.....i owe them 17K and gotta pay by 2009. i still got 13k to go and plus gotta pay for my loans and shit...fuking hated that college..im in debt because of them) 20 years old - present = Automotive Technician (drop outta skool and work as a technician for cars. My salary is based on flat rate which means the amount of work being done....total salary in 2007 was 67K) So, how is it so far? My brain's been telling me that my girl is about to leave me (been going out for 6 yrs) .....because i dont think i'm spending enough time wit her (cant help it, im still in debt, works for 12 hrs, sometimes more) and she accused me of spending way too much time wit cars and not enough time wit her (i tried to balance it, she dont like it, o well, wat can i say........for the past months, i tried to take time off in weekends to be wit her). i dont think my history is that bad, rite? Although im not as educated, im still living, earning money. The chances of me and my girl breaking up is 90 percent. So if i were to tell my past to a girl, do yall think i have a chance and start a new life wit her?
