Jokes about male (crude humor)

Discussion in 'Love and Relationships' started by wind2000, Jan 19, 2008.

  1. wind2000

    wind2000 Self Schemata

    Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?
    A: Because they are plugged into a genius.

    Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?
    A: They don't have time.

    Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?
    A: They won't stop for directions.

    Q: Why did God put men on earth?
    A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

    Q: Why don't women have men's brains?
    A: Because they don't have penises to put them in.

    Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
    A: They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.

    Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
    A: Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock.

    Q: Why do men masturbate?
    A: It's sex with someone they love.

    Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
    A: So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

    Q: Why did God make men before women?
    A: You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.

    Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
    A: So he can tell if he is coming or going.

    Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
    A: Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.

    Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
    A: What men know about women.

    Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: One. Men will screw anything.

    Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
    A: He eats beans for dinner.

    Q: What's a man's idea of foreplay?
    A: A half hour of begging.

    Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused?
    A: He's breathing

    Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds?
    A: Government bonds mature.

    Q: How do you save a man from drowning?
    A: Take your foot off of his head.

    Q: What do men an beer bottle have in common?
    A: They are both empty from the head up.

    Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?
    A: Who cares?

    Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
    A: We don't know. It's never happened.

    Q: How are men and parking spots alike?
    A: The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped.

    Q: What is a man's idea of helping out with housework?
    A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
     
  2. xmichelly

    xmichelly Well-Known Member

    hehehe this actually made me laugh

    that one is nasty!!! >.<
     
  3. fearless_fx

    fearless_fx Eugooglizer

    lol this is actually pretty hilarious
     
  4. tiffer858

    tiffer858 Well-Known Member

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    funny but kinda in a wierd way -tongue2
     
  5. Phil

    Phil 香港 PA 社團 揸Fap 人

    Q: Why did God put men on earth?
    A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
    Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
    A: So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties
    Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: One. Men will screw anything.
    lol its Funny. but mean, but o well , we make jokes about Females too, (just not posted yet)
     
  6. maybellina

    maybellina Well-Known Member

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    Hahaha, the jokes crack me up-lol Good job wind!
     
  7. Phil

    Phil 香港 PA 社團 揸Fap 人

    lol whered u get these jokes, wanna link us so we could find more haha. some of these jokes are like funny coz it sounds true lol
     
  8. daniel5007

    daniel5007 Member

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    haha...funny...
     
  9. Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
    A: So he can tell if he is coming or going.

    that's gross!!! -lol
     
  10. alnk

    alnk Well-Known Member

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    hahaha
    some i've heard before but some are just great xD
     
  11. Knoctur_nal

    Knoctur_nal |Force 10 from Navarone|

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    but it makes sense...hahahah
     
  12. hahaha omg even u say so??
    it's still gross!! -lol
     
  13. Phil

    Phil 香港 PA 社團 揸Fap 人

    lol judging by the amount of ppl who laughed, it shows how immature some Populer Asians users are,
    lol o well , its all fun
     
  14. auta

    auta Well-Known Member

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    haha but its true o_O
     
  15. aniking_7

    aniking_7 Well-Known Member

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    Good jokes sure make one laugh!
     
  16. Shini_D

    Shini_D Well-Known Member

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    ohhh i love them hahaha, they make me laught oo lol.
    some i indeed have heard too.
    the train and breast one, HILARIOUS! lol
    and not stopping for directions hahaha, i burst into tears laughing! lol
    Good one Wind! x
     
  17. tien317

    tien317 Well-Known Member

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    HMmmm....pretty hilarious....thanx...had a good laugh :)
     
  18. snoopy8888

    snoopy8888 Well-Known Member

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    very funny
     
  19. Hustler

    Hustler Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for sharing excellent jokes , I really enjoyed all . Keep sharing such entertaining jokes .
     
  20. slamdunkfardo

    slamdunkfardo Active Member

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    that's kinda mean