I am going to make this long story short =X This is a story about my girlfriend and I. We met each other at a college in January of 2007. We started dating in March and everything was great until the Fall semester when she had to move back to her home state due to family issues. I flew with her back home and met with her family. Due to some serious family issues, she wont be coming back to the state where I live to study. Everything continue to work out fine, although we are long distanced, our hearts are still close. We called each other everyday, every hour, basically, we spend around 4hrs of daily phone chat every day. We still love each other very much. We planned the future together. But....in January, everything changed. She has the chronic disease lupus (SLE) which can be fatal because it can affect all your internal organs at any time. Because she doesn't want to be a burden to me, she wanted to break up with me. I refused to accept that and kept hanging on the relationship telling her I will take care of her no matter what. We argued about this issue for a couple days and I finally convinced her to stay with me. I said no matter what happened to you, I will always be by your side and take care of you. Just because you are sick that doesn't mean I have to leave you, if i do, then I won't be a good boyfriend where I only be with you when you are healthy and leave you when you are sick. I want to be with her healthy or sick. I want to give her my support. As time progress, she starting to ignore my calls. My heart is starting to ache because the only way I can check on her is through phone. If she doesn't answer the phone, I start to worry and have panic attacks where I can't breath. I called all her family members but none of them pick up and from there, I panic more because I thought it was something happened. Now its March 2008, she starting to have kidney, lungs, heart, and memory problems. She always ask me to support her, but how can I support her when she's pushing me away? Is it wrong for a boyfriend to worry about his girlfriend's status? Almost every night, I had to cry myself to sleep because I worry so much. I haven't heard her voice for so long, I'm starting to panic, worrying about her condition. Another thing is that she doesn't charge her phone so it is very hard for me to contact her now. I tried.....I really tried to support her and be there for her, but it seems like she doesn't care about me anymore. What else can I do, just sit and worry? That is all for now. Any suggestions? Comments? Thanks for reading this =X
Oh Lionheart!!! I am so sorry you are going through this! She still loves you and cares about you, she's just doing this to make it easier on you in the long run. This is how she is thinking but it is so far from the truth. Being the sick one she thinks this is the best solution but one your end its the worse thing she can do cause not knowing what is going on is by far the worse thing. There really is not much you can do. Short of flying there to see her at all costs and just hold her even if it is the last time you cant do anything. Try putting yourself in her shoes; she's the one that is sick and is going through all this. She's trying to spare you the pain of seeing her go through it. She also wants you to remember her the way she was before she got sick. Maybe it would be worth it to fly there and just see her. This way you'll have some sort of peace of mind and she'll know that you really truly love her. She knows believe me she knows otherwise she wouldnt cut you off like this. Its just that sometimes you need to do things like that in this sort of situation. Again, I'm sorry you have to go through this and I hope that she feels better soon. Hang in there!
I flew there last week to take care of her since I was on spring break. But now that I am back here, I feel so lost. I'm planning to fly back there and take care of her for 2 weeks in April. I want to be there and support her. I understand whats she is doing, but I don't believe in that when a person is sick, you push your love one away because you don't want the person in pain. But if you think it this way, by pushing your love one away already, its hurting them greatly already. Why not just spend the time with your love one until the end. Life goes on happy or sad. Why make us sad earlier? Shouldn't we spend the remaining time together and collect more happy moments than spend them in vain ? I'm so sad and lost at the moment. I just called her like 5mins ago, no answer.... it is really worrying me day and nights. I just want to know shes safe. =;[
well, you are doing what you feel you should be doing and that will always be the right thing for you. it's hard to make more happy moments when you are that ill. she's not spending her moments in vain, she is spending them in pain. does she have a chance of recovery? are there perhaps better treatments? maybe you need to start focusing on something else besides the constant worrying. maybe that's becoming too much for her as well. maybe you should try researching her illness and looking at other methods of treatment. focus on that. this way you will be helping her and doing something for her. i'm not saying that you worrying about her and wanting to be there for her is wrong but sometimes when you are seriously ill, too much attention from the one you love can be too much to bear. Trust that she is safe and if all else fails, call from a restricted phone number so that her family answers and just tell them to call you if ANYTHING happens.
lupus is an incurable disease but that doesn't stop ur life. it just means u are more prone to tiredness and illness but with immunosupressants and corticosteroids u should be able to live a pretty normal life tbh so i don't see why she won't keep in touch. lupus is not going to kill someone just make them more tired thats all and in severe cases the symptoms can just be relieved. also, lupus varies and at the mo it could be quite active but after a while it won't be as active so rele i don't understand why she is pushing u away.
That is so sad..... bbes maybe she doesn't want to drag him into a life where he will have to take care of her the rest of his life inhibiting him from persuing his dreams, she is selfless and that is great trait to have... and lionheart stay by her side if you love her as much as you say you do.... how far away is her home state from yours? It was very sweet of you to fly there during your spring break, and i hope she does get better and adapt to her condition, I have no idea what I would do to be honest... but if I believe I loved someone that much I would go to the ends of the earth for her, so whoever i marry, i hope she knows that XD The best of luck to you!!
thats true but its not fatal and u can still live a normal life so i reckon u should just go for it unless perhaps she doesn't want to be with u anymore and it just happens that she got diagnosed with lupus.
no offense but why does this sound so much like the movie the 7th day? maybe you ought to follow what kevin cheng's character did.
i will do what i always have done, wait and support her. i am doing my best to keep in touch with her. hmm.. she lives in MN and i live in MA(half the united states). i know her motive for leaving me, but i wont mind taking care of her. exactly! xD when i was watching this drama i was like omg its like my situation.
AWWW....SOWIEEE TO HEAR ABOUT THIS.....LION<3....-hug... I AGREE WITH WHUT PEOPLE HAVE SAID SO FAR.....GIVE HER SOME SPACE AS SHE IS THE ILL ONE SADLY....THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO IS BE THERE FOR HER AND SUPPORT HER.... THERE ISNT MUCH YOU CAN DO...SOWIEEE..... GOOD LUCK~~~~~~
gosh.... i have a couple of questions guys =[ i been calling her every 2 hrs to check how shes doing..but now when we talk, its only last like 1min as if she doesnt want to talk.... what should i do now ? continue to call and check on her or give her some space for a while? how long ? thanks for the help
=( =( =( i remember u started a thread about ur gf quite a while ago...bout long distance right....and her family being against u? I think she hasnt accepted her sickness yet so shes still very sad... doesnt really know how to deal with it and thinks the worse of it...probably shes just pushing u away because of that like the others said...just give her some space for a lil while...but after some time.. u just show her u still want her...and try to convince her...& maybe she will realize that u really wanna be with her through thick and thin..... =(.....awwww....hope everything will get better between u and ur gf soon & hope she will become more healy soon and of course remain healthy! -flow -edit...respond to ur last post ehm...u think she doesnt wanna talk? just tell her u will give her some space and tell her u wont give up this easily and leave her alove for a week or so.....i guess
thanks miss ^^ yap, maybe ill give her some space. the problem is that shes starting to have memory lost, im afraid if i dont talk to her, shes going to forget me. =[
-cry2....awwww i feel so sad man....... but but...she still remembers when shes last spoken to u? or like forgets big things like who ppl are etc? is it like short term memory loss or whut?
its a short term memory lost, she forgets when i call her even it is like 1 min ago. she forgets what ever she did for the day. i really want to help but shes pushing me off the cliff.
=( hmmm.....ok lion....try to give her and urself to think and relevate la.... try to keep contact with one of her friends/fam members so u can get updates on her....
i think she is talkin to you less because she is tired and her body is constantly fighting against itself. I know you've said your ready to take care and all but are you really ready? can you support her financially, can you provide for all of the medical bills at the end of the day? because with lupus she will be on immunosupresecnt drugs for the rest of her life and they aren't cheap. On top of that she may be making trips to the ER and hospital visits. i'm being harsh yes...but i want you to make sure your ready to take care of her.
first of all, I don't believe in long distance because you are far away and no matter how close you are to her or she is to you...time and distance will fade away the feelings, ( my point of view ) secondly, She might not be sick ( don't get offended okay, only possibilities ). Once again she is not in the same state as you and the distance thing... finally, take a plane trip to her city/town and see for your self, only then you will know the " whys "
