Why chinese people don't want their children to get married with foreign people?

Discussion in 'Love and Relationships' started by lara_mey, Aug 16, 2008.

  1. MissCheekS

    MissCheekS Reconnaîssant ❤

    this should be in love-relationship section :p!
    -------------------------------------------

    my parents dont really care... as long as he treats me well... im glad their open minded
    but yea...i guess most of them just think its easier to communicate with a chinese in law...
     
  2. lara_mey

    lara_mey Well-Known Member

    82
    31
    0

    yeah personal preference is all that matters but if u r a chinese who grew up in a foreign country and u must to get marry with a chinese person that u dont like because different traditions, style of life, language etc. just because ur parent dont allow u to get merry with someone who is not chinese. would u do that?
     
  3. AznSinoBoy

    AznSinoBoy Well-Known Member

    106
    41
    0
    My says it's hard to cook for her and chinese thing are different blablabla, but she said she wouldn't mind if i want to marry to a foreign girl :jump:
     
  4. surplusletterbox

    surplusletterbox Well-Known Member

    318
    53
    1
    Very simple, for thousands of years, the misery had come from outside of China! Afterall the parents and grandparents have lived through the foreign occupation of coastal ports of China when Chinese patriots were treated like terrorists, WW1, then Japanese occupation, then WW2, then Vietnam and Korean War....so the threat is perceived to be always from the outside. Just read the genuine history books and you will find that during the occupation of China... ask yourself who were treated by whom to be like worse than dogs! OK, this is all history now and we are now in a bright new world of optimism. That's explains a bit why there is still a bit of problem culturally...a lot of victims and restless ghosts were created in the last 200 years, will take a while to calm down the souls... the soul and conscience of a nation.
     
  5. dcdc

    dcdc Active Member

    35
    31
    0
    #25 dcdc, Aug 18, 2008
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2008
  6. themvp

    themvp Well-Known Member

    50
    31
    0
    There are countless reasons, but the main one should be communication. Even though you speak perfect English but sometimes it's just hard to express yourself or explain some of the stuffs, it's just not the same as you speak your native language. My philosophy is bang the blond and the brunette but marry a sweet and innocent Chinese girl. :)
     
  7. emawlee28

    emawlee28 Well-Known Member

    181
    41
    0
    i honestly have no problem getting married with foreign ppl ... the only prob is if they "smell" & communication buh honestly who wud marry a guy who knt understand his wife? i mean .. i dont mind marrying a guy whos foreign and speaks ENGLISHYY =D then were ok :)
     
  8. Shini_D

    Shini_D Well-Known Member

    696
    68
    0
    its quite hard really....everyone pretty much stated the same reason...
    but i know its bad for my family becvause i went to my parents friends plac,e and basically one of my aunts, her brother married a white girl, and she doesnt understand chinese and its worse cause the parents say horrible stuff about her in front of her, but she dont know what they are saying...

    it's weird.....
    without the communication...i guess there is the major barrier, then that leads to everything else.... x
     
  9. rakata

    rakata Member

    5
    26
    0
    it just way to different generation most of parents who born before 1950 or 60 i think will have this kind of gap
     
  10. wanaer

    wanaer New Member

    1
    26
    0
    oh ya ya
     
  11. bbes

    bbes Incredible

    i guess u pretty much set urself to be spoken about in a bad way if u don't understand the language and the other parents are chinese.
     
  12. lara_mey

    lara_mey Well-Known Member

    82
    31
    0

    communication is very important in a relationship. these days i'm watching Sweet Spy (Kdrama) and i think when ur in fall with someone the language it's not a bid deal. hahaha what do u mean "smell" so if ur future husband smells bad so u wont marry him even u love him too much???
     
  13. jklee369

    jklee369 Well-Known Member

    221
    41
    0
    Main reason is probably the lang barrier, the older gents will be like i want be able to understand them and they wont understand me.
    Also partly to do with tradition i reckon, as change from the norm can be uneasy
     
  14. bbes

    bbes Incredible

    haha the thing is though if someone smells bad and u can't stand them u wouldn't be attracted to them in the first place so u would rarely see urself in that position.
     
  15. Thisdamngood

    Thisdamngood Well-Known Member

    My parents want me to get with a white girl rather than a chinese girl. They think Chinese girls are materialistic and money hungry. But it's my decision in the end.
     
  16. themvp

    themvp Well-Known Member

    50
    31
    0
    ^^^^ Isn't it vice versa???
     
  17. jklee369

    jklee369 Well-Known Member

    221
    41
    0
    End of the day its going to be you who gonna marry the other partner, so i think parents these days are reluctantly accepting the fate that there isnt anything you can do about it, for instance my bro got a white gf, which my parents have just accepted, but im not sure how they react if it she was black lol
     
  18. lara_mey

    lara_mey Well-Known Member

    82
    31
    0
    yeah if someone smells bad is kinda impossible to feel atracted to but some pp say love is blind so no matter what u could fall in love wit that person!! and some chinese pp dont like black pp it brings bad luck because
    the pronunciation of black in canto means bad luck!
     
  19. themvp

    themvp Well-Known Member

    50
    31
    0
    Some black girls are gorgeous!! Look at Beyonce, I'd hit it any day.
     
  20. negiqboyz

    negiqboyz Well-Known Member

    I am not Chinese but growing up in a traditional "Azn" family, I understand why most Azn parents do not want their children to marry foreign people. Communication is partly the problem. The main issue is the culture. Unless your significant other intends on learning and respecting your culture, things will get ugly. Keep in mind, whilst marriage is about two people; but in reality, marriage is actually between two families. When you have two completely different languages, sets of belief, and culture in general, it's hard to work things out as the argument will only escalate over time. That will strain your marriage and push it toward the divorce court. That's not to say that interracial marriages don't work. It takes a lot of time and work; especially when everything and everyone around are conspiring against ya'll. However, most people simply can't handle it or take it long enough to see fruition of their interracial marriage. Too much arguments over time will cause what they called a "marriage" fatigue. Azn men usually have the "bigger" problem here too as they are usually the ones who presumably have to carry on the family traditions and all; not easy when your wife is non-Asian who perhaps know nothing about your family culture and traditions; possibly refusing to learn if they go against her own set of belief.