Well if I have to tell you facts to prove that he feels the same way, what's the point in the relationship? You need trust and faith (not blind faith, just faith). If you don't have that, uh, no point in the relationship. I call it trust when I can say that we both feel the same way. You don't know him at all, so you say he doesn't feel that way either. Also, what is classified as "evidence/proof" that he feels the same way? If he said he loves me everyday? If he gave me gifts every day? If he blocked a bullet for me? If he spent all his money to come see me frequently? There isn't a "way" to "prove" it. You can never know what other people's relationships are like and how they feel about it, because you are not them. No matter how much people tell you they love their partners, how much they miss them, how much they adore them, they are just expressions of a feeling between the two people themselves, and no outsider can understand truly how they feel about each other. Besides, I already know all the stuff about environment changing and things. Not knowing that is called being naive, which I am not. LDR or not, there'll be changes in the environment and people around you and that could affect any relationship. I know that if, in any case, it doesn't work out, it'll be hard for sure. I have this friend who only had a serious crush (crush, only) on this girl for a short time but did not receive the same affection back. A year later, he is still dwelling over it. I know and have seen how hard it is. But should I let that put me off? Should we let our past experiences to loom over us and stop us from opening up our minds and stand up again? Should we not try because other people haven't worked theirs out? Should we not try again because previously, it hasn't worked out before? Should people who had broken up with their partners before (which wasn't a LDR) refuse to go out with another person later in life because a single relationship didn't work out before? Of course not. What would it matter if it's LDR or not? So, what happens when I finally acknowledge that LDR are hopeless that there's a very low chance of it working out? Dump it now? Or feel insecure everyday? Or perhaps say to him "I love you, but remember, one day this might not work out"? I'm not blocking out the possibilities. I have very well acknowledged it, and know very well it may be difficult if it doesn't work out (isn't every relationship difficult if it doesn't work out, anyway?). Now that I have acknowledged, I do not see any point in dwelling in it when we don't even know if it's gonna happen. Might as well be happy and face the problems as it comes, rather than worry every day until the day I marry. I can say that I haven't "fallen down" much in life, when I do have a first serious fall down (whether it'd be in relationships, career, or whatever), it will be really hard to stand up again. But what can I do now? People grow up after falling down. If I refuse to take a few steps in pursuing this relationship, I am never gonna grow. I also disagree that successful relationship would be when you reach the stage of marrying. So people who live together, and not have an official document saying they are together, are not successful? What if both people are happy together and see no need to marry? Does that mean their relationship is fail? Marriage is a form of celebration and official recognition of two people's relationship. If two people don't mind being together without that piece of paper and a ring, then I don't see any problems with it. And is the relationship successful of a couple marries and divorces? I think that looking down on LDRs because of the number of unsuccessful stories or because of past experience is normal, but I don't think you should really question other people's relationship. I know you said you're not discouraging me, but I'm not really sure what else I can take of it as I already know what the "other consequences" could be. I just really don't think I should have so much doubts and things. It's not easy to find someone you love, and vice versa. Ah, I hope you can work it out with you family soon. I can imagine how hard that would be if your family doesn't support it, but hopefully they will change their mind soon! At least your boyfriend's family likes you. I think it'll be relatively "easier" to convince your own family rather than your boyfriend's family if they didn't like you. And I'm excited for you! I should be seeing mine early next year (yay!). And yeah, what kind of relationship doesn't have problems? Almost all relationships does, but people tend to resolve it together. Sometimes arguments are a good thing too, as they help you know your partner more. Of course, not too much... haha. But yeah, hope you have fun when you see him!!!
I have dealt with long distance relationship and it isn't bad as everything thinks So far, mine is remaining strong and I'm planning to see him this Christmas even though we live like 2 1/2 hour away from each other
@pancake .. well .. glad that you have everything down and under control .. who know you will be successful in your LDR. keep us posted. as for ppl staying together without marrying .. fyi ... you're automatically classified as married (common marriage law) if you lived together for more than 5 years which varies from state to state and country to country. in general sense, marriage stage is a success.
Thanks~ And really, I didn't know that xD. I just know that they recently made a new law here, where in the situation that you live with your partner for 2 years or more and decide to break up after that, you have the right to bring the matter up to court and demand your partner to fund you for your life (or vice versa)... crazy, only 2 years. Guess it makes people think twice about living together o.o.
^ Long D relationship is working quite well for me too actually... In a sense, I'm still seeing her every 2 weeks and we been going out for like a year and a half and it's been great... But then again, I actually known her for 10 years... and it's true, whether you are close or not is not very relevant, it's just having that trust between one another... If one wants to cheat, it doesn't matter how close they are b/c they would still do the same... One most important aspect of Long D is constant communication though... and I do it just about everyday with her.
i am not surprised .. cohabitation is on the rise these days so you can expect lawmakers to come up with all type of legislations to curb the trend and preserve traditional marriage. i remember reading a separation case where the gal wanted half of the guy's properties and shit since they've been together for over 9 years (on and off) without proper marriage license. the court awarded her the judgment and subsequent appeals didn't pan out for the guy too. the "powerful" claim was that her beauty and time were irreversible. she felt and needed to be compensated. lol ... well, the judge bought it. i was like .. guy age too .. wtf .. oh well ..
Every 2 weeks is great. Actually is that really LDR since you see her so often? o: But I'm glad you get to see her so much~ That means the girl's beauty is declared to worth only half of his property by law! A woman's beauty should be priceless, but not for her, lol.
i dun think 2,5 hr is a long distant wo....my ex bf lived like 3 to 3.5 hours (catch bus, train n then another bus) n we saw eachother almost every weekend lol... i think thats ok la....
^ Just curious, are you like a student or working right now? and you don't really have to answer that if you don't want to =p
Just wondering.. Oh man, you're like 22+... If my calculation is correct -_- Why you guys live so far from each other then, b/c you work elsewhere or he does...
i am 22 almost 23 n lol how did u calculate haha anyways, why did we live so far from eachother? ehhh i dunno? ask our parents... we just met through mutual friends n he happened to live on the other side of the country i didnt have any problem with that tho... seeing eachother like one weekend in a week is more than enough
^ Well I just assume that it take 4 years to graduate and you stated in a way that you just started working.. and for most people, when they graducate they're about 21-22... Mutual friends like on facebook? or relative meeting and you guys got hooked up... Haha "seeing eachother like one weekend in a week is more than enough" Yea, it keep that excitement more the next time I see my gf than seeing her everyday (for me)
^ idk, I'm not so sure about the mature part, I thought we all think you're pretty bitchy at times ^^
wow angie .. i thought you're in the crowd of under 18. guess i am here not long enough to know who's who .. lol but yeah 22 is still relatively young ..
long distance relationship is the best. go to her when u wan to play with her then go back hometown and play with other girls yea, veerrrry good.
