I"m interested in peoples opinion cause i know several people is this situation. So people are in their mid 20s, eventually want to start looking for a person to settle down with. Way into the relationship, completely fallen in love, past the honey moon period. They you find out that views are different, goals are different, lives are different. Reasons that marriage between the two would not be possible. But they are so in love they dont want to split up. If you were in this situation what would you do? Say goodbye because the earlier the better? Try to work things out and hope for the best? Learn the adapt so things can work out? Just enjoy for now and deal with that stuff later? ???
there's old saying hmm should be like this people love each other not for something they have in common but for something they might can find out/achieve together i hope you get what do i mean... if you love, that means there's is this something what you need for living. heart is saying "stay" but brain takes part and keep on repeating "but we don't have anything in common" - it doesn't really matter. i would stay. try to make it work.
As a married guy, I say, "stay and try to work things out". Marriage is not based on love alone; one needs to learn to compromise, be considerate, and understand one another's need. Couple should face the problems together and support one another to reach each other's goals. Basically, marriage need time investment and lots of work; with love as a foundation of course.
^ i agree! having a relationship n marrying eachother means u should willing to compromise... im not sayin u have to give up all ur own things but just to sorta meet eachother halfway... i dont think a lotta couples have the exact same point of view or vision for the future but hey i think if u really love someone n uve been together for a long time it should b ok if ur not willing to do that u should ask urself how much u love the other person...?
wow i'm amazed when i talk to people in real life about this situtation, especially when talking to people who know one person and not the other. I often see people dislike the relationship want them to break up so their friend can have a chance at something better and not hold themself back. I have both been in this situation and am watching a few others in the same situation. When it was me I wanted to stay, but watching others, I want them to break up because i see it just heading in the wrong direction, I see them leading themselves to a hard road. When people are still young they are advised to continue to explore. Have you seen how many teen marriages end up in divorces? Errrr i just spilled a bunch of words on to this page, but it gives you more things to debate about
Here's some examples of a goal difference (guy)Having lived in Japan all their life with a high paying job and family, and knowing he does not have the skills and language to survive in the job market in USA (girl) who hates japan, wants to live in USA and can barely survive in the job market in japan, and is miserable, without friends, and depressed or one person who wants to have children, while the other never wants to have children or one who only likes to stay at home with their partner and not go out, while the other is always out and about with friends doing new things or different views on money. one likes to travel the world, try new experiances, buy the latest fashion and eat out a lot (basically a lot of money wasted), while the other is overly caution of money and doesn't spend more than needed. (lots of bickering about finances and responsibility here)
i know for myself i wouldnt because it isnt as if we arent in love and this way it will keep things interesting
the first example is easy because something of that magnitude should have been looked into even b4 marriage... there's a compromise in there as well... a buddy of mine's parents... mother lives in the US, father works in Taiwan and comes back to see the family fairly often... another buddy of mine has a dad that works in the Philippines for practically half the year, and when his wife needs him, he flies back for her immediately... so there are ways to work around situations like that... second example, this is weird cuz usually this topic comes up like what? a few months into a relationship? and coming from a guy, if we didn't want children, we'd bolt the minute we dropped u off at ur home after that convo and never call u back... third example, there usually is a compromise for something like that it should be easy to work out as long as neither partner is incredibly selfish -.-; the last example is plain stupid... money should never be a problem... only idiots marry w/o realizing the financial burden and later divorce over it...always sign a prenup -.-; in a way, negiq and cheeks pretty much got it down... love doesn't always conquer all unless love in itself also means learning to compromise... this is why prearranged marriages have a lower rate of divorces, they compromise first, find love after...
for all the examples, i think u just have to think n weigh here....the thing that u sacrifice n what u get back from that person... n if ur own "wishes" are more important or ur partner.... both have to do something to make it work n try to meet each other halfway @Tony: Nooooooooooooooooooo
if im u... i think i will break up.... Sometimes too much of different views will lead to conflicts and soon the love for each other will decrease... But sometimes we cant denied the power of love, u might wanto sacrifice for our partner juz to leave with your partner.
there're 2 things i believe in (there could b more but can't think of other ones rite now)... anyway... they r 1. true love exists for as long as it lasts 2. there's no such thing as one can't survive without another if i was in that situation i'd ask myself... "can i live with this person under the same roof forever even if things don't get any better??"... "will i b able to put up with him for the rest of my life or m i heading towards eternal misery..." if they answer is "yes" then i'll go ahead n marry that person... if no then i'll back away n eventually leave... too many ppl (especially women) get married for the sake of getting married... for some reason most asian women just wanna get married before they turn 30 n they don't care who they r marrying to... sometimes they r in such a rush they think "oh he/she will change once we're married" but they don't always do...
Now there's a sentence thats true, you came to this world without your other half, you can live through life without it
People say you can't live without love. I say you can't live without oxygen. DR HOUSE or sth like that.
