Right I have been brought up that family should help each other and being the oldest i should always look out for my little sister whos only younger than me by a year... So everytime my sister needs help i help her but when i ask for help she tells me to go away and don't help me I give her lifts to everywhere and when i ask for her she tells me to go away too I try to make a conversation with her coz i havent seen her in days or weeks or months she talks to me like im some scum or whatever and don't respect me or anything It's not only me that she's rude to, she bullies my parents and uncles and basicly people at work too.. and i seen her bully her friends well male friends... and she is more spoilt than me and has attitudfe problems and my parents knows this but dont really do much about it... i don't know what to do.. my bf tells me to fook her off but i cant coz as i said i can't but to help her out coz she is my little sister and i have responsibility to and all that.. so what to do with her?
^ Regardless of being the older sister and having to take care of her... I say you ignore her for a while, and whenever she asks you for something, say 'no' If she argues with you, you have a lot of things you can say back to her. 'I help you all the time, but I get nothing in return' Definitely tell her that you won't help her with anything until she is willing to return the favour and treats you with the respect you deserve. The fact that she speaks to you so rudly is very disrespectful. Even if it is a year difference. I've realized that sometimes I speak to my parents a little rudely, if I'm stressed or a little frustrated, but I'm trying to change that and speak to them more respectfully cause they're my parents. Of course parents are different from siblings, but I'm the youngest in the family, and I sure as hell don't speak to my bro as if he's 'scum' Give her a taste of her own medicine. If she doesn't like it, well then she'd know how you'd feel and hopefully will change for the better. And since she's rude to your parents as well... bitch her out for it. It's also your responsibility to help her realize that she is in no position to treat your parents in such a manner. Hey, the fact that you haven't raised your hand at her yet... good for you. Good luck.
you think i haven't raised my hands at her? surely i have but i end up being the one in trouble coz she ends up very hurt or crying so bad and casts all the blame to me.. i do ignore her and say no to things she asks for but coz my mum gets "worried" about her so instead of her or my dad to do the job of taking care of her i have to be the one thats doing the running around after her... the fact my parents know that my sis has a very bad mouth and speaks disrepctfully they dont do nothing about it... *sigh* she's unchangable.. when i even gave her her own medicine... EDIT: i hit her coz she winds me up big time or the fact we get into a heated argument that she pushes or slaps me so i just retaliate lol
^ I agree. If it were me... I most definitely would continue raising my hand at her. Don't give her sympathy even if she's crying. Ignore her if she's crying. You're being too soft on her if you stop your I guess 'lecture' if she just cries. Say something like 'I wouldn't have acted up that way if you treated me respectfully. I'm your older sister and you treat me like crap.' Really why should you have to treat her so nicely, when you don't get the same treatment in return. I don't want to cast blame on your parents... but they should be doing more than just sitting there allowing themselves to be abused by their own child like they are. That's one of the main reasons why your little sister is able to do what she wants, cause she knows that her parents won't discipline her if she were to do something wrong. In turn, it only makes her look down at your parents and 'step' over them. Have you tried sitting down with your parents and explaining to them? Let them know that even though she is the youngest, and you're suppose to take care of her, you still deserve respect. They may be willing to let your little sister treat them disrespectfully, but you aren't.
of course i did.. i even shouted at her being so disrespectful when she was when her friends were round.. yes maybe i was out of order doing it in front of her friends... and iwas crying about it and my mum said one thing that's it.. then my dad comes home later on that night and had a go at me saying iwas out of order doing that all my parents discipline her in is not allowing her to sleepover at her friends at a party but they let her go to parties on the days we have to work... well fridays and saturdays... and yes me and my sister (sometimes do need one of those days off coz of our social lives) but she takes the mick and takes all of em off or dont work when shes at work... and i end up suffering that i cant go out on those days coz of her
What ages are we talking about here? 14 versus 15; or 38 versus 39? There's a big difference in the response. If we're looking at a young set of teens, the elder sibling might tell her parents that she not going to do their jobs. If we're considering adults, then forget it; don't bother talking to the younger sibling because as an adult, she's already set in her ways and she's not about to change. Just go to annuals, nod and smile, then retreat back into the peace of your own home.
^ Very true. But from the sounds of it, a young teen to me. The younger generation are a lot more loud and abnoxious than the older generation. They're spoiled by their parents who're unwilling to raise their hand at them cause of 'child services' and cause it's morally 'wrong' Beating them senseless is morally wrong. Smacking their bum cause they've been bad isn't. My opinion anyways. Take the days before her. Just don't give a damn, and sign them out before she gets a chance to so she is forced to work. Make your parents set a plan as to where it isn't an option where you guys can work, but an OBLIGATION to your family. I have work as well, and I never have weekend days off, so I don't really have a problem in that aspect. And as for me, I HAVE to work, so can't take days off even if I wanted. Even if I have a major exam the next day, I suck it up. You guys get paid at work right? Aside from that, do you get allowance? I say don't give your sister allowance. If you get allowance as well, I'd sacrifice it to try to discipline you sister more. Make you parents say that from now on the only money you two will be getting is from working at the restaurant. Say you get 'bonus' from how well /hard you work. If she gets allowance, maybe that's one of the reasons she blows off work as well. She knows she still has some 'income' from her parents and that weekly/monthly allowance. Gotta make her work harder for the money. I don't know how much more advice I can give you. Cause from what you're telling me, it seems you've already tried what you can, and she still acts that way. I think you guys need to smack the fear into her.
lol fear? tie her down n let her watch horror lol im 19 and she's 18... paid work but i do get allowance coz i live away from home due to uni but she somehow gets more money than she gets tho but my dad is a very "sum yuen" type of guy and doesn't wnana see us both skint... whereas my mum is pretty tight with the allowance.. that's why since my dad been in HK my mum has been fair on the allowance side of things...
^ Exactly... tie her down is good. =P lol. Ok... 18... there really isn't much else you can do with her in teaching her proper manners and respect. In this case, do what ralphrepo said. Though I still wouldn't do things for her. Hell she's 18, she should have her own license. If she doesn't have a car, say she should save up for one and do things herself. She's an 'adult' now. Hopefully when she's older, she'll realize her mistakes and change. If not... well then at least you won't be living under the same roof with her for that long.
lol,i'm in a reverse situation...i'm the little sister and my big bro is rude to me...I usually help him but i don't get any help from him...
bahahahah. To bb, siblings relationship have always been a love hate thing. All this will pass and perhaps years later, when you both have your own kids, it would be something to laugh about. It is hard to deal with brats. But if you are determined to be a good sister, its going to take some sacrifice and plenty of patience. When someone really needs to talk, there are usually most withdrawn. What might help if you guys can go shopping together (Yes I know it sounds crazy ) and tell her that since you both are in your angsty teenage years, you both could be best friends for starters and not sisters. Shopping therapy is good female bonding. One day when you both are in a good mood, hit the mall together. Keep off the issues and just enjoy each others company. Cheers
Somehow, this doesn't surprise me at all... <_< Concur. Just leave her to the problems of her own making, and get on with your own life, is what I would do...
shes like a size 14/16 (UK) so technically thats average in UK but i dunno some people say its kinda fat lol n shes got a minor acne situation....
serously, your sister see no value in you from what you are saying. harder to do then say, but ignore her for a while or have a serous talk with her. ignore her for a while, make her appreciate you. Once she acknowleges that when she needs your help and your not their, then she will ask for you again. But from their on, i think you need to make your value as a brother great. believe me, this come from experience, my sister does the same stuff to me like once then i didn't help her for a while and now she likes treat me better even tho i some time tell her to go away lol. the thing is, you shouldn';t let your sister treat you on the same level as your parrents. children can be rude to parrents because they know parrents adore them, however as a bro, you should be on some what of as equal level.
time for some tough love me thinks tell her exactly what you think is the problem and then cut her off till she changes her ways
haha i'm in the same situation... only my lil brothers don't dare cross me... they take advantage of the fact that I choose to be the traditional Chinese eldest son... so when the family needs something, I'm the one to be burdened first since my father's always busy... but still, my brothers know since I do choose to be such, what I say goes... and if they forget... I make them remember... basically what i'm getting at is... as the eldest, u will need to make more sacrifices for the family than your sister... but at the same time... u should never tolerate disrespect for those ur sacrificing for... especially ur younger siblings... I'm not sure what u can do since I'm a guy... and for guys it can be taken care of quickly by either a swift kick in the balls or taking back the Xbox... but like most people have said... don't let it go on... but cutting her off might have blowback effects...
