so would you do the same to your son if he was gay or if he slept around a lot? honestly i think if i was your daughter and you raised me like that, i'd either turn out to be an angel or a whore .. or maybe antisocial and socially awkward
That, and being able to bring girls home without being considered a slut. Oh, and no periods. :biggthumpup:
People think I am a bit extreme but that's me. I come from a very conservative family. I remember my Dad slapped me so hard that my tooth fell out when I talked back to mother one time. He cut all my sister's hair when she missed the 7:00 PM dinner. One time, he locked us out when we missed the curfew on prom night. Aside from all those craps, my parents love us a lot. They bought everything we needed even though we had no money. They ate less and save for us a lot more; totally spoiled us yet retained the parent power over us. Anyway, my siblings and I gone from nearly drop out to college grads so yeah ... I think driving the kid to and from school only part of the solution in keeping your children safe. It also depend on the neighborhood, school, and how much attention you as parents give to your kids. The reason a lot of children turned out bad these days is due to negligence from the parents who devote most of their time to work than with their kids. Parents use money to fill that gap: video game, tv, or whatever .. that's NOT love. Kids need to be disciplined.
Again I'll use my friend as an example.. her mother is WAY over protective, much like you wanting to be for yours. She doesn't work, as she's way wealthy. So she has all the time and money to do what she wants.. Drive her daughter to school, take her with her everywhere. My friend is always complaining how the mother wants her to spend so much time together with the family and it leaves her no time for herself to do the things she wants. If you think being over protective will make your kid grow up properly, then go for it. But it didn't work on this girl. They'll be exposed to outside influences whether you like it or not. Her mother is devoted to taking good care of her daughter with her own views in life. She had her at a young age, and doesn't want her daughter to repeat the same mistake she did. Even with all the love and care, she still came out to be a two-faced person.. so to speak. It's pretty sad when parents shelter their kids too much.. There was this one poor kid in my tutoring center that was always afraid to score anything below an A mark because her parents would get really upset. That's just wrong
^ my parents never took us to school .. we were on our own but we were well disciplined by our parents ... i know what you're saying .. there's no single method to discipline kids .. they can be good now and bad later behind your back or whatever .. i don't think i'll be those type of absolutely strict parent; gotta look at the situation and your own child to know how to treat them .. trust is important but you gotta make sure your kid has the ability to make good judgment .. you kinda know by the time your kids grow older. regardless .. lesbo, slut, or gay is ABSOLUTELY unacceptable.
i understand that this is your personal take on the subject regarding sexual orientation, but it just makes me wonder why you have such negative feelings for it, i wouldn't be happy if my daughter told me she was lesbian and it might take me a while to except it, but that's how it's going to be.... and also blame your wife/child bearer, for not giving her more estrogen while in the womb or blame your lack of(for boys) or too much(for girls) testosterone in your sperm.
^ why should i blame myself .. to this day, i still believe homosexual is a "trend" where either people experiment out of curiosity and/or emotional trauma. it has nothing to do with genetic. now, this is simply my personal belief and others do not have to agree with me. i respect those who choose to be gay or lesbo or whatever but for my children, it's a NO.
To be honest, I can't and won't disown my child for things like that. I would hope that I teach my kids well enough like my parents did to know whats right and wrong. Preferably, I wouldn't want my daughter to be sleeping around at a young age, but... IF it does happen, I would rather she be able to talk to me about it and come to me, rather than hide away and deal with problems on her own... And if my child became a lesbian or bi, i wouldn't care, she's my daughter and I love her for her. x
^ every family is different and has their own ways of dealing with things .. the american parenting is to be friend with your children so they can confide in you but my traditional way is to make sure the kids know that the parents are the one in control. of course, i am not gonna be inflexible; probably blend in the two way of dealing with my children. i think when you tell your kid that if you have sex, tell me about it or teach them about it (instill the thought of sex), they think it's ok as long as it is safe practice. NO. safe or not safe is WRONG when you're not ready to take responsiblity of your own action. the same goes with homosexuality .. how can there be nothing wrong with you when over 90% of people are norma (like opposite sex) when you're not?
IF your kids don't like the way you raised them and hide it. What do you think they'll do when they turn 18? I want to say, there is a lot of methods to educate a child... But ( how to say ?? ) ... A child is not necessarily gonna accept that method of yours ( Perhaps your children are accustomed to your way ). It all depends on the social life of the child (influence of friends at school) Example, my parents are not strict as ur parents do but they keep their chinese blood in them. They don't quibble me when i talk back, they will just say that I am not a good girl and will compare me to my cousins. Parents are not always right, sometimes we have to correct them. If they say the earth is a triangle ... no mummy .. its a sphere. I personally do not like how my parents raised me. But it does not change I know they are doing it for my good and all. But when you are in America, for instance, and you educate your children in the traditional way .. this is not the best way. My sister moved when she turned 18 due to some Chinese beliefs that my mother blamed my sister. anyway ...
i guess it is a good thing for parents to show that they are in control. my parents were strict when i started wanting to go places with friends, but gradually became more flexible. i think i appreciate that more because they were so strict before. but if they were just permissive from the beginning then i'd probably go out like crazy in the first place and not appreciate all they allow me to do. i basically can do whatever i want now and i am pretty thankful for that ..
We can go on and on with this topic because there is NO correct way to dealing with children. It involves various things - school environment, living neighborhood, media, etc... I can't be sure what I'll do either since I am not a parent yet. However, I do know one thing is that the lesbo/gay/trans/slut will not be acceptable to me regardless of how time changes in this world.
at the end of hte day if you know she is no longer a virgin any more there is not much you can do, what has happened has happend. what you need to think about is what to do next, obviously as a parent you maybe disappointed (if you are traditional) but on the other hand you cannot love her one day and the next hate her. I say let it go and move on no point dwelling on the past
im same as xmichelly, my parents started strict and became flexible. But if my parents were hound dogs on me, im sorry but i dnt think id be the person i am. And I know whats right and wrong, and whats more, im smart (not like booksmart) but i can take care of myself and know not to end up like those stupider ppl on the street. I'm not saying I'm gna be a walkover, believe me, I'm chinese, I'll beat my kids haha, but you need a balance. The thing is, even if you tell them no, whatever, you can never stop your kids from hanging out with whoever, even if you DO pick them up everyday from school etc. If your so strict on them, they can 1) become so sheltered that they can easily be taken advantage of, or 2) become rebellious and do worst stuff behind your back, or 3) resent you/hate you These are jus possibilities, but are common possibilities, and quite frankly, I've got cousins who are number 1, and it saddens me that an 18 year old has the mind thinking of a 12 year old, it upsets me cause when I take her out, I can't treat her like an 18 year old, I have to watch out for her like she was 12. That's so wrong... another thing is that there is nothing wrong with homosexuality. You may think that 90% or whatever is considered the norm, but quite frankly, as society is beginning to accept homosexuality, you start to realise, there is more ppl who are coming out the closet. What you can't see doesn't mean its not true. You never know, your friend could be gay but due to peer pressure, they choose to hide it, cause there are people like you who class it as wrong. To burst your bubble, Im bi, I don't think there anything wrong with me. In fact, I have high grades like others, I live my life like others, I eat and drink food like others, walk and breathe the same way and air as others, whats wrong with me? I think the only thing wrong is when people say things like what you said. How is what you said any different to being racist? Everybody has different preferances, its like when you tell a white person to eat chicken feet, and they're like "that is WRONG!" but in the eyes of a chinese person, chicken feet is yummy edible food. x
studies have shown a 50% chance about whether a person chooses to be gay/lesbian can be linked to genetics... if you look at your hand and your index and ring finger are about the same length (in both woman and men) they have a more likely chance, (keyword: Chance) of being homosexual. For men, if the ring finger is longer it just means you had more testosterone while you were in the womb.... if its shorter, it means that man didn't get as much testosterone when being carried. you can not say you have any respect if you can't respect the choices your own children may make regarding how they choose to love. Also you choose to believe it to be a trend and not a solidified way of life for some individuals, how can you say you have respect for them? You contradict yourself here. Side Note: I understand the way your are thinking, its natural for any parent to feel this way, you were brought up on the beliefs of one system and you wish to drill your own beliefs of good vs bad into them but my posts are just for the sake of discussion, no hard feelings, I understand.
lol i thought the hand thing was a joke to make people actually check their hand and in the process question their preference :laugh: it was in the general forum not to long ago. can you link this study please.
