Okay .. some of you might have remembered that I bought a new car for my baby sister so she can commute back home. Anyway, a guy asked her out and they've been or were dating. She told me and I hired a PI to look up the guy and his family background. He was 21 and my sis was only 16 then so I had to do it. My parents said it's okay for us to date once we're in college as long as it doesn't affect our studies. However, my sis was only 16 last year. She found out recently when she helped me move. Anyway, she was shocked but didn't get mad; just a little sad. They did break up right after I objected to it. Had I gone too far??
No, I don't have a little sister, but if I did, I wouldn't approve of her dating someone who's 21+. We ALLLL know how impressionable 16 year old girls are, and how manipulating 20 year old guys can be. :naughty:
You are overprotecting her, but you are doing it for her sake. You never know.... nowadays Which means your relationship with your sister is , family first. But all relationship you start have some risks along with it, if you are overprotecting her too much, how will she gain this experience? (although, this might be a exception since she is just 16 and that dude is 21....) NO!
Hmm I don't really see the harm in it. Some people would mind, but you were looking out for your litter sister. Especially since she's underage and the guy is and adult.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO u're doing the right thing!! it's just a game....but she should play it safe... my guardians/parents will do the same, whether im 16 or not, dangerous :(
It depends on where you are. I think it would be preferable not to intervene in this way or you can simply met the guy and learn more about him, and then judge for yourself whether it is really a good guy or not. I think you do not want your sister to go out with a guy of 21 because you are afraid that this guy tries to make love with your little sister? Well, it'sa bit crazy to think this possibility because the youth of today ... you know, even if it goes out with a guy of 16 and 17 years-not 21. There will be still there many opportunities they will sleep together. Of course, I know there are many ''pedophile''nowadays, but there is still a lot of good guys left. You can not protect your sister 4ever, i mean, it's ok to protect your sister, but to many to many. Nevertheless, we can not say much cuz we do not know about your relationship between the family. All i said: If you think you did a good thing and your sister too. Then no worries. But i'm sure your sister can decide by her own now, she's no longer a child. She has to learn from what she does
As she was 16 dating a 21-yo, you were only looking out for her. Luckily, she wasn't too mad; then she may have gone and done something stupid to spite you. Now if she were 21 and you still had a PI check out all her dates then you would be too overprotective.
You should ground your sister for breaking your parent's rules. You're gonna have to get used to the idea that someone, someday, that you don't think very highly of, is going to be banging the shit out of her... You are, perhaps vicariously, living every Dad's worst nightmare. I remember at my sister's wedding, and in a crowd of family and friend's, signaling her new husband, whom I had barely met once or twice before, to come over and I whispered something into his ear, as if telling him a secret joke and then laughing out loud and walking away. You should have seen the look on his face. What I whispered was "If you ever hurt her, I will kill you." So yeah. I understand the sentiment perfectly. LOL... Hiring a PI? Man, now that's class...
wow...if my 16 year old sister was goin out with a 21 year old guy i would jump him right away and start scaring him..... he can't get an older girl?
Seriously. Whenever I see a guy dating a girl wayy younger than him, I always wonder if there's something wrong with the guy, since he can't get girls around his age. I know a lot of guys who've been arrested for dating under aged girls. At least you didn't take it as far as calling the cops on him.
fuck 21 year old dating a 16 thats pedo shit yo. i would've disapprove right away wouldn't even waste money hiring the PI, its hard to tell her its wrong cause its your sister but i would not trust the dude with her, no matter how nice he is its just not right.
She didn't break any rule. She was 16 at the time but a freshman in college. She maintained her 4.0 and her full scholarship; on the college swimming and volleyball team; intern at the hospital on the weekend; and regular session at the temple. SO, there wasn't any reason to stop it beside the age. BTW, I didn't know the guy's age until the PI report came back. As far as I knew at the time, the guy was a junior. After the PI report that I objected to the dating thing but I didn't say that of course. I just simply told her that she just started college; should focus on adapting to the new environment and school work; not to get distracted easily. I didn't know she followed my advice and broke things off. Oh yeah, I am not worry about "sex" part because my sister is an extreme vegetarian and believer in sex after marriage. I remember she telling me once that a couple should be emotional and mentally connected and committed before being physically intimate because only then will they feel the passion; otherwise, sex will be no different than sticking a plunger in the toilet bowl; meaningless, despicable, and low. In all, my worry was on the guy, you can't stop a guy from moving forward though .. right? Sometimes, when everything falls into place, a guy may do things even though the gal say NO. That has happened to my friends before in college and they didn't do anything about it after ward; instead, afraid to tell their family; just avoided the guys. I don't know if I am did it right because even my parents didn't know I hired a PI; but I only had good intention. I think my sister was a little disappointed in me for a lack of trust in her and her judgment. Sigh..
it's only a 5 yrs different, not that big of an age gap but the fact that she's still 16, which is still under age, no way in hell should she be going out with him. Wait till you're at least 18. You better hope she not lying to you cause it does happens.
Well, 16 and in college means that your sister is smart, but that doesn't mean that she's savvy. This has been long identified as a potential emotional roadblock for prodigy children, who generally are academically way in advance of their peers, but physically and emotionally, are generally the same age. Thus putting a 12 year old into a setting to mingle with 20 year old leaves that exceptional academic genius socially disadvantaged. Your sister may be mentally smart, but she's emotionally and socially only a teen. Her BF is a man, however. The relationship is already an unequal partnership. As for legality, most US state courts tend to look upon consensual relations within 4-5 years as legally marginal but allowed. Example is when a 16 year old girl is impregnated by a 20 year old guy; is he charged with rape? Generally no. However, if that same 16 year old girl is impregnated or has consensual sex with a 35 year old guy; then homey should clean off his ass and prepared to get butt fucked for the next 20 years because he's going to jail as a child rapist (who traditionally don't do well in general population incarceration and preyed upon mercilessly). Your parents' were shortsighted; the "college" requirement should have been stated as both college AND 18. LOL... smart sister outfoxed your folks, Ha ha... At any rate, she may consider you heavy handed, but she knows you care enough to watch out for her.
you did not cross the line from a brother's point of view, i would so the same or similiar. in fact, if he was a junkie, then he should be careful or i will be ruin him in ways he will regret it lol.
for the age gap in question i personally don't think you went too far... dudes is 21... i'm sure he knows your sister is 16... totally sketchy... hiring a PI though, you definitely have the family first ideal and the money to spend...
dude since you know where he lives.. put a fuckin' rifle to his head and tell him to stay the hell away from your sister!!
