I love her, but it's So Stressful!

Discussion in 'Love and Relationships' started by J dot L, Jul 14, 2009.

  1. J dot L

    J dot L Well-Known Member

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    I've been with my white girlfriend for 5months now.(read on to find out why i stated white)
    I love her, but at times it really does get stressful. She really is different to the other girls i have been with. she's more like the type who would act totally different when her friends are around, especially when really close male friends are around. She's a pretty girl, and that just makes a lot of other dudes including her close male friends get too close, and sometimes gets carried away.

    She always tells me that she doesnt know how to explain things IF things are wrong. She says she tries, and yet in the end, she says "i dont know how to put it in words". and then ends up making up lies. even though they are not serious lies ect. it still breaks down my trust in her. >.<

    I have no clue on what she wants at times, she's just confusing. She sometimes seems to be the type of girl which would seem to benefit more not in a relationship.

    Ok, now for the reason to why i said "white girlfriend". This is because all my other girlfriends were asian - chinese ect. They never have been like that, well the parts where she would have really close male friends which she would act awkward around when im with her ect.

    I dont even know if this relationship is worth "fighting" for at times. I've nearly broke up with her several times, but i didnt in the end. I think she does like me a lot, but it's really hard tbh. She cried a LOT when i mentioned that we should break up and be back friends, and she never seemed to be the type of girls which cries easily or at all. =/ - tears really do make me give in at times though. >.<

    Anyway, after all that, my final question i have been wanting to ask is...should i really be willing to carry this relationship on? :(
     
    #1 J dot L, Jul 14, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2009
  2. Arroz

    Arroz New Member

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    Wow, reminds me of my relationship with my current gf.
    She did the whole acting different/weird around other guys, the whole "i cant explain for chit" thing, which annoyed the hell outta me. she doesn't really lie, but she explains things in a peculiar way no one, not even her family, can understand. its quite ambiguous because I think I got it, but later she claims what she said had a different meaning. I think its her choice in words.
    I did the whole trying to break up with her thing and she did the crying thing, made me feel guilty every time so I stayed with her, hoping thing would get better. -surr

    But, despite everything, I stayed with her. At first it was because she would cry and that would really get into my conscious so I would always give her another chance.
    So like I said, we stuck together, and she started to grow on me, little by little. Now, dont get me wrong I still find some of the stuff she does annoying. She drives me insane sometimes -dead but all in all I'm glad I stuck around. We still have the occasional conflict here and there, everywhere.....:no: but we're happy together:)

    Been together like a year and a half -hug still going strong

    So my advice to you is, if you think you can stand her faults and handle the stress (oh yes, there will still be stress) stay with her. If you really cant stand, just break up with her because I can tell you, its not going to get easier anytime soon. If you really like her, stay the course and deal with it. Best of luck.
     
  3. A|ex

    A|ex Well-Known Member

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    well if it makes you feel any better i am in a relationship at the moment which is extremely stressful to the point where i am teeth grinding and feeling ill from it. I would like to marry my gf of 3 years and i have given her a ring but she keeps on pushing me to have wedding asap and is full of old chinese culture which i do not really fully believe in.

    maybe all us guys should escape the evil clutches of females, kick back and relax
     
  4. perfectguy4you

    perfectguy4you Well-Known Member

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    I think you should ask yourself: Do you still like her, despite her actions? Based on your post, I assume you still have feelings for her and she also likes you ALOT. You say that she will cry becuase of you wanting to break up. Just imagine a girl cries because of you. Not that many girls cry because of her boyfriend. That means that you are important to her and in her heart, you deserve a special place.

    Anyway, think carefully before you make any decisions. You do not want to regret in the future. You know that decisions that you make will not only affect you, but also her as well. If you want to continue the relationship, try figure something out and talk to each other. You say that you do not understand her sometimes. That is because you two have different cultural background and it is OK to be confused. Try spending more time together and know each other a little bit better before making any decisions.
     
  5. lala_bel_tempo

    lala_bel_tempo Well-Known Member

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    i really really hate the traditional stuff =.=

    :rl::rl::rl:

    anywyas, i pretty much agree with you.
     
  6. burnburn

    burnburn Well-Known Member

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    It doesn't really matter what nationality a girl is, it's mostly about their personality.

    It seems that your girlfriend is the type that puts on a mask when she's with different people. How close does she get with other guys? If it's a bit too much, you really would need to have a talk with her and let her know that you're not into that stuff.

    In the end, as Arroz said, it's depends how much you can stand her. No one is perfect, we can NEVER find that perfect person for us because everyone is DIFFERENT. But because we love them, we love their faults too, or at least, accept their faults.

    I myself have many faults, my girlfriend has cried for me because of them. I try to fix my faults, but sometimes, I stuff up again. It's not cheating on her or anything... I just make silly decisions. Like white lies that... to her, is a BIG problem.

    Just talk with her.
    6 months dating... you're still getting to know each other.
     
  7. aznzc

    aznzc Member

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    basically everyone is supporting you mean. go with your guts. nobody can tell you who is right or wrong, it always narrow it down to you and relationship is not meant to be stressful. relax and and you can see the picture more clearly.
     
  8. reccaflare

    reccaflare New Member

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    Ok, dude... i read your post.. .. just wanna to say... well dude. may be she is was friendly with her friends.. some girls like one of my friend.. she doesn't have lots of female friends... she does join us.. but one thing she knows is her bf she love.... Dude, if you wanna truly be with her...and have a nice happy moment.... just do one thing... bring her to somewhere..

    Sit down... and make sure the place is silent,... and discuss,... tell her you really love her.. you wanna have a further relationship with her... because they would easily think that you wanna break.. just give her a hug.. tell her look into her eye... make sure she answer things.... nice talk ... use ( please, i love you, i appreciated you, i don't wanna lose you, you really affects my happiness alot,( don't mention about sadness ),.... good luck dude.. ^^
     
  9. kevinliu12

    kevinliu12 Active Member

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    so...she is not white?
     
  10. negiqboyz

    negiqboyz Well-Known Member

    You gotta work for everything buddy .. even in relationship. HOWEVER, you should be HAPPY doing so despite your whatsocalled "stress". Otherwise, it's a sign to move on with your life.

    I can understand the "crying" thing but you know what, it's better clear things up now then suffering more later.
     
  11. twfidgit

    twfidgit Member

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    ask ur self how much you love her, and see how much it would hurt seeing her with someone else. how much it would hurt seeing her being hurt by someone else
     
  12. Espresso

    Espresso Well-Known Member

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    bye bye
     
  13. ^ what kind of nub spam is that!!!>>>???
     
  14. KaY_xD

    KaY_xD 但願人長久,千里共嬋娟

    ^you must be bored, checking every latest update thread. =p


    @ least im gonna reply, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, the grass is greener on the other side.
     
  15. Dont hate dancey1
     
  16. Espresso

    Espresso Well-Known Member

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    I will not tolerate a girl that doesn't care for a relationship on that level. If she doesn't even attempt to curb her behavior in that respect, it doesn't mean she values it. We're not telling her to change her complete look, or move to another state. Your simply asking her to curb some actions that should be avoided in a relationship.

    Everyone has their run ins, but if a significant other doesn't change and continues to promote 'swinger' type business, you gotta say BYE BYE.
     
  17. J dot L

    J dot L Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the replies guys and girls. ^_^
    But lately, it just has got me thinking..Even though it may hurt me to see her gone and probably with another guy, I think i would rather not suffer from the fact that she gets too flirtatious with other guys. It just makes it seem like im just an extra to her life, and her having a boyfriend is just for the "sake of it". I dont know why i get this feeling, but MAYBE i am better off without such stress from this. She says she does care..and maybe some people would say that her tears show that she does "care" about this relationship but i really dont feel that.

    According to her friends, she always has been a flirty girl around her close guy friends..and Her excuse for flirting was that it was simply something she's got used to, and it's "only" with friends that she's known for like 3-4years. But come on, to me i really dont see why she should flirt that much with all her guy friends..and lets them get as close as they want! ¬¬

    Ahh I really dont know atm. As i said, it really does stresses me out. :(