I know there are varying degrees of relationships and different levels. Life goes on, and a lot of times friends come and go. But do you ever have some borderline, guideline or expectations of friends? For example, do you expect friends to clue you in events, or outings or stuff like that? I was eating lunch a while back, and one of my friends out right said he 'expected' a 'birthday' lunch w/ better execution. LOL It seemed kinda funny, that he was a bit excessive, given the circumstances that we actually did something. HAHA. Like he was expecting something 'better'. But I'm just saying. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I think I am a bit bothered and pissed that people have been using me to just time slot. It feels a lot being dicked, especially when you thought they were really good and close friends. I guess my expectations broke apart. It's not like I expect grand birthday parties, or extravagant things during Christmas. I genuinely don't care, but I think what dicks me, is when I tell them I wanted to do something, they won't, and then I find out later they did things w/o me. And the thing is, they felt NO REMORSE. I'm quite forgiving and feel like I've been there for some of them, through many many thick and thin situations, but shit, just recently it built up so bad, I let one of my friend know how I felt. The thing is, she was kind of speechless, but I laid it out flat and spoke out. She didn't even apologize at all, and kind of went about after I told her. I basically told her, how she would always just call me to fill in her time slots and her 'schedule', just 1 particular day of the week. But when we hang out, she's a space cadet. She does her own arrangement of events afterwards, texts her friends, and basically uses me to escort and kill time. Just rude and disrespectful. I mean, she's not obligated, but she seems antsy in 'ANTICIPATING' phone calls from her friends. I didn't mind back then because I realized her family situation and I was always there for her whenever she needed a favor, or help. However, this time I couldn't take it anymore. The thing that pissed me off, is that she acts like a jerk, gloating in front of me what she did Friday night, or this night or that night, but she WOULD NEVER ask me, or include me. Really. I don't get it. Like why tell in front of your "friends", the things you did and rub it in? She would NEVER do something that I want to either. All activities have been to slot her time, till she was ready to do something else @ night w/ her friends. It kind of hurts because I've considered her as a close friend, but I guess my expectations and my feelings of being dicked hurt. It's just one of those friendships, and continuous acts that bothered. Similar to that of a parent's expectations in a child. Just saying.. --Oh I have thoughts on 'other' things too, but this is more recent. LOL.
awww espresso with whuts going on in your life @ the moment i guess it makes you find out who your real friends and she def. isnt one coz she was just using you....which you know i hope you feel better soon and your situation improves..till then we'll be your friends k....
I'm glad people realize there were 2 separate accounts. Yes it's been tough. Thanks. I've known her for a long time, and we were very close and etc. Yeah, I guess I was a bit foolish because I had always expected some close friends to understand, to realize and what not. We're both in our mid 20s, known her in the teens. What bothered me, was she would never adjust, or step out the box for me, yet for others, she'd be willing to ! I've realized I was just a last option if she had no one else ! I was an option for her because I was close to her, perhaps a bit too close to be used like this. Oh well...
Been through that phase for me too, just remember this quote before you give a reply everytime when someone who ask you help or spend time with and you feel reluctant to help "I am not a charity organisation"
on the + side you realised nows.... all i can say is if she doesnt realise how great you are....shes the one losing out and not you... feeling foolish...?..at least you can say you tried and never have that 'what if' Q at the back of your mind..so you have nuttin to regret right....
Yeah. All these years, being there, and adjusting and conforming for her, and to be treated like that? I guess I won't talk to her, and subject to her things, until she realizes and shows some effort, because I've already expressed what's on my mind. I know she doesn't care enough anymore to discuss this. She got her OWN THING now, and doesn't need me.
I never felt foolish in all the years because I did things w/ a genuine heart and didn't seek return, but the past few times and etc., I saw her TRUE HEART and TRUE CHARACTER. And it pissed me off a bit.
It's not really the help at all. I don't expect people to read TOO DEEP, lol. It's quite a long read. It's the character, of using me to slot her schedule, but she would use me just to get away from her fam, but after we hang, she would do her ACTUAL things. Like do events, do things. The worst is when she tells me these things and as a close friend, she doesn't bother to invite me, and cold shoulders me !! And the worst shit, she does is look @ her phone 24/7, text on her phone 24/7, and she doesn't respect our outing. WHY? Cuz it's meaningless to her. I was so pissed @ one point where I was literally going to leave her at the mall, or grab her phone and throw it. LOL But who am I to say or do?
^ who are you to say so..?...you're her best friend no..?...you should prolly be honest and tell her how rude it is....!!!!....well nows ya not talking to her mebe it'll make her realise all her bad habits and whut its like without you so she'll then know how muchy you did for her even if it was 'time slotted'... regret...i meant like not regretting never expressing his real feelings....but he did...! helping her out regardless....shows hes the bigger man no..?..dun be so siew hai la... pssss you really need to multi-quoteee....clikcy on the quote+ button.
LOL Your chinese? I told myself if I was siu hey, but the more I spoke to her face to face, the more I realized I wasn't. I kept saying, she wasn't obligated though to clue me in. We did kind of have a history.
^ hehe mebe...canto... oooOooo i was calling flaming siew hai for regretting helping her out so muchy thas all...^^ from whut ya said....i woldnt say you're siew hai at all...coz you were the one still helping her out and stuff
I think so, we were very very close, and we had a history. But it's not really about the history thing anymore. I guess the friendship part + history should make it more special right? I didn't blast her that HARSH, because really, who am I to say? Did I have the rights? So I kind of got the idea off my chest, face to face w/ her, after I couldn't take it anymore. I think she doesn't care anymore cuz she didn't apologize or talk to me or speak about it. So I played it off, and just moved on.
I would just ditch her, but for my incidence, I just stop talking to her and let her find out her problem out herself "You're my best friend", honestly I've heard that line many times and all I can say is girls usually use that for praising you for doing what she said other than that there is no meaning in it, and she doesn't really think you're her best friend at all I would give him 5 for expressing it to her, these girls definitely needs a fucking lesson
My thing now is: 1) I don't wanna lose a close friend, especially one whom I've shared a lot of close talks with, but 2) If she can just pass it off and not care, I guess I shouldn't anymore. 3) I don't think she'll ever conform, change, or adjust for my sakes @ all. So if I wanted companionship, help, or etc., she wouldn't really be here mentally. Her mentality would be w/ her next event. It's kind of sad because I don't have much close friends anymore, @ this time in life, w/ the world, and etc., having close friends, or friends are hard to come by. But oh well, I felt just a tad of regret for telling her off, but..... the way I was being treated, and being dicked? I thought I meant more to her. I guess I wasn't. Oh well... I hate people w/ ulterior motives.
siu hei?!?! If I was siu hei I would go plan vengeful stuff on her...all i did was stop initiating conversation with her. She never did start a convo with me Honestly I was been so nice to the girl, say yes on everything she wanted to do spend time when she's alone and next thing you know, you're forgotten among her friends, even the ones she just know on the day. It's like you've just lost your existance
