I just found out about this and im so pissed off about it that if i dont vent somewhere i might be beating my grandma's friends with a bat tmw. So my grandma regularly has friends over to play majong for the day. Theres like a total of maybe 20 of them in the neighborhood and they go around to each other's places to play. Now they're usually quite pleasant, I say hi to them and they smile and make small talk. I even drive them home sometimes when it is raining out or its too cold. Just now I found out that apparently a couple of them talks shit about me all the time and they go do this to people who have no clue who I am and it embarrasses my grandmother as well (who doesnt defend me btw). Apparently, they talk about how awful it is that my girlfriend stays over night and how its "jit dau" (yea i dont know pinying). Seriously, WTF. Its really bothering me now. I could confront them and tell them to shut up and cuss them off. But that would only make them spread more rumors about how unreasonable I am and alienate my grandma from the rest of her friends. If they were saying something about me... I dont think I could care less, but talking shit about my girl is just unacceptable. Didnt know where else to put this but I always lurk here so i thought PA would understand. TLDR version - my grandma's friends talk shit about my girlfriend because she stays over at my place.
Yeah, elders have nothing to talk about anyways If not, tell them to walk home when it rains or it gets cold.. or charge them a fee .
Just ignore them. Like you said...you don't want to alienate your grandma from her friends. If you need to just say "hi" and walk away. But, I would tell your grandmother what you know and how you feel. Then there should be no expectation of making small talk or taking them home.
Older women always talk nothing but shit and won't be happy if there isn't anything to gossip or bitch about. (well most of them)
there's nothing you can do. those are her friends. by her defending you they would talk about her too. would you want them to talk about your grandma and gf? let it go. there's more important things to worry about in life than just a bunch of old women who have nothing better to do. dont drive the ones who talk about you home anymore. leave it at that.
my grandma mj alot but she doesn't host =).. i can't stand the elderly playing MJ at home and it would piss me off. You can't really do much or defend yourself cause chinese people are "suppose to respect the elder" and if you say something then those grandmas would just talk more shit and say how bad your are which will hurt your grandma. Best thing to do is just stay away from them and stay in your room or just get out of the house, just ignore them. And you don't want to piss off your grandma so she loses her friends because MJ allows her to have fun and make friends and at her age it's boring without those things.
Old folks, especially the older females always gossip, family, friends are like the top 2 subjects they talk about, either bragging about themselves or their family or talking smack about something wrong about others and even sometimes gossip about bad stuff in their own family. Same type of stuff happens in my family, I have some really selfish family members and the things my parents always do to help them pisses me off at times cause it cost them their own money like helping them immigrant to the USA, finding jobs for them, finding a home for them, didn't even pay us back in full. When my parents needed their help, all they hear are excuses. Now they are talking smack about how my parents are always trying to bring that up which they do. Big family = more gossip.
thanks for the replies people. I knew i should just ignore them.... its just really hard to swallow. I think im just going to try to avoid them if possible, just in case i blow up in their face.
To the OP, you're getting angry about a legion of old women whose thought processes were formed by customs and cultural ethics in the 1940's. Is it that important to you that they have to see it from your contemporary point of view? Frankly, in their eyes, your GF is a slut; she doesn't respect herself, and her actions (staying over your place) is not only denigrating herself (GEET DOR), but brings tremendous shame to her parents. The reason why your grandmother doesn't defend you is that your grandmother more than likely agrees with them, LOL... So, now you have to ask yourself, do you love your grandmother, despite her and her friends out of fashion and narrow views, or is it more important to you to be bigger than her feelings? If I were you, I'd say: Well grandma, I know that when you were young, such things would be considered highly improper; but people are a lot more liberal nowadays. I would then continue to drive her and her friends, and enjoy their company for as many years as they have left. In essence, I understand that the world doesn't necessarily have to see things my way, nor do I have to see things their way; but we can still be good friends.
.... it happens is normal i mean not only grandma but also your own mother talk about alot of Bshit....
It is not the fact that they consider the behavior disgusting that upsets me or even the fact that my grandmother may or may not agree. It is the fact that they would not just tell me upfront and talk shit to random people when I dont even get a say in it. I was under the impression that gossiping behind someone's back was frowned upon by any generation and any standards
You should dress up as a mugger and rob the old bitches. Take their purses, jewelry, shoes, false teeth, hell any thing that isn't nailed to them. Then flog the stuff and buy your girl a nice present. You'll feel better and it'll scare em shitless - the old hags. Or better yet rob their homes when they're at your place. Revenge is sweet. Respect is only due to those that deserve it. Regardless of age.
one time i picked up the phone upstairs to make a phone call but my grandmother was on the phone downstairs but she didnt know i picked up the phone. my grandmother and aunt was talking crap about me lol, gossiping.... I got real annoyed and confronted my aunt and fell out with her for a few weeks, i cant fall out with my grandmother or say much, so she was just mad at me for about 2 days for eavesdropping on them talk smack about me rofl. Basically, grandmothers do that, they gossip, ive heard my grandmother boast about me over and over yet when the mood takes her, she will find something to gossip about.
This is for the benefit of all future readers of this thread. Chinese grannies are an ancient evil that must be stopped. They do not recognize law, international borders, or how much a pain in the arse they can be. What's worse is their evil legacy will prevail. New generations will emerge; your mum, mother in law, girl friend, wife, sister are all destined to be drawn into this darkness and take up the mantle of interfering gossiping bitchiness. Men, we must rise and break this cycle by educating the younger generation. Once a female younger than the age of 60 starts gossiping you need to smack her over the head with a slipper. Only then can we be delivered to the promised land. Heed my divine words, and walk the righteous path. Also if you get arrested for assault you didn't get those instructions from me. Yah feel me? -evil
