My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me at work couple days ago. I cried my eyes out. He said he wanted to be my best friends still. He said he is doing this for my own good. He is a big distraction in my life. Then later he said he is being selfish, he just got tired of not being to see me whenever he want to because my parents are very strict and don't like him. He confirmed that there wasn't anyone that interfere with our relationship. This news hit me really hard, because there wasn't any signs. He is also my first love and boyfriend. Although I accepted the news, I still want to get him back somehow. I want to sort it out with him. Beside he is so nice to be even after we broke up. He would eat lunch with up and sort at work. So in a way, I feel like he still wants to lead me on. However, today I learned that through facebook, that he had been talking to this girl way before our relationship ended. They both expressed interest in each other. It is a long distance relationship thing but she should be in town soon. Should I confront him about it or should I let it go? It is so hard for me to swallow it. I want to know the true so I could accept the fact that there is no reconciliation. I should stop blaming myself for this fail relationship and my strict parents. I should just move on. I can't right now because he still put up a front and nice to me. Should I call him over the phone or confront him face to face? Should i just leave the topic alone for awhile. I am afraid i would get too emotional. I also not very good at reading other people body language. I need advice, please help me out before this sadness and jealousy drive me insane.:tears::tears: Thank you
The world is not over. It seems like you are still quite young. Your so called bf seems to be selfish and especially a prick especially how you mentioned that he is already chatting it up with another girl. There's more to your life than feeling miserable over this thing. I'm sure there are plenty of fish for you in the ocean, better catches than him. It seems like a very recent event that happened to you , therefore the hurt is fresh and feels really bad. All I can say is move on and make the most out of your life. There is so much for you to look forward to.
I am in my late 20s. My parents are just so controlling. They don't want be to date anyone. I know but I just feel so alone. I can't concentrate on work or anything.
Oh wow, late 20s eh...? But from your story, it sounds like you were early 20ish -_- Well there is really no point to talk to him about it... Just picture this: If he say "Yes", in fact that he does like someone else, it doesn't change anything If he say "No", that still doesn't change anything Either way, there are no good coming out from it other than the fact that he's through with you and at best just wants to be your friend...
first and foremost.. you need to break away from your parents... you will never be happy until you have the freedom to do as you wish... second..... he may have broken up with you now, but remember he will be giving you extra attention when you start up with someone new. i guarantee it, it is up to you whether or not to live in the past or live in the present.
LOOK, that BF of yours is trash and a no body. Show me his FB. If he had it all, your parents would not think the same. He is hardly the guy you can call as your husband! FORGET HIM !! Strict parents are IMPORTANT, because the morals these days are nothing. Girls have no value and no dignity these days, the same w/ guys. A lot of guys are not knights and have no chivalry and gentlemen mentality. MOVE ON! It takes, times but hang out w/ your friends and talk to your friends. No matter what they say, you folks cannot be friends and I think it's better not to have any more contact. It takes time, time is the most valuable commodity.
Obviously the guy likes the other girl and gave you a bunch of excuses to break up... If you want a single man from the USA, theres always Tony
-bigsmiles -rotfl i believe the Tony in this case is one of our PA members (rite?) Just move on dear, no point of confronting him about it. Unless you want to be those women in movies, put on a strong personality and confront him, and leave w/o a sad face, telling him its me who dump you and i wont cry my eyes out for you worthless son of biatch. First love always strikes hard la...there should be better ones out there. As for body languages, maybe watch TVB's "Every Move You Make," you'll learn some from Bowie Lam's long speech (looking top left when he's talking to you? he's lying!!!)
and that's probably why he left ya. Ohhhh!!! I think i'm Big Meech, Larry Hoover. Whippin' Work, Hallelujah! I call the charge (You call the charge) I call the charge, (Yeah!) Whip it real hard, whip it, whip it real hard.
I give permission for Nas and Flaming make you forget your "ex", but I can't gaurantee that your heart will get mended tho
It's hard to give advice to other people about their relationships, esp since we don't really know what's going on. What you perceive as happening maybe what that is...just your perception. are you 100% certain that he's chatting up the girl? and if so, I would definitely just drop it. If he can't get over your parents' intervention, (or any of his other excuses) it means that he doesn't want to put any more effort into your relationship. considering you're just dating now, what is he gonna do when you guys run into a real obstacles in a serious relationship? Talking to him won't solve anything, just grin and bare it. If you really have strong feelings for him and don't want to lose the relationship (and he's not chatting up another girl while you guys were together), then it would be worthwhile for you to have an honest conversation with him about what he perceive as wrong with your current relationship and whether or not there's compromises you guys can make. BUT you definitely need to be HONEST with yourself and with him. He also must do the same thing...otherwise you'll just get back together just to break up a few months later...not worth it. Lastly, as for the parents...as one of the posters says, parents are there as a means of support for you. There are some who are really opinionated and controlling. You need to find a middle ground where you can respect their opinions, but that is it. You have to live your life not your parents. Take what they say with you, but you need to make decisions that make sense for your life. Sometimes, parents think they know what's best for you but they may not really know what you really want. It is also important to be happy in your life. But don't just disregard what they say, they have many more years of experience than you, you might as well benefit from their wisdom. good luck. it's a tough decision and it's not for anyone else to decide on but you.
"My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me at work couple days ago. " -three years and you didn't see signs that this was coming? " He said he wanted to be my best friends still. He said he is doing this for my own good. He is a big distraction in my life. " -that's a lie. "Then later he said he is being selfish, he just got tired of not being to see me whenever he want to because my parents are very strict and don't like him. " -oh look it was a lie. And this is a lie too. "He confirmed that there wasn't anyone that interfere with our relationship. " -And there's lie number 3. This guys on a roll. "This news hit me really hard, because there wasn't any signs. " -Like I said, three years and you didn't see this coming!?? Were you too oblivious to signs that he was giving you, or was he actually that good at hiding it from you? "He is also my first love and boyfriend. " -And are you even his first love? "Although I accepted the news, I still want to get him back somehow. I want to sort it out with him. Beside he is so nice to be even after we broke up. He would eat lunch with up and sort at work. So in a way, I feel like he still wants to lead me on. " -That's not called nice, it's called guilt. " However, today I learned that through facebook, that he had been talking to this girl way before our relationship ended. They both expressed interest in each other. It is a long distance relationship thing but she should be in town soon. " -well you found your proof right there, what more do you need? She's gonna be in town, he's trying to get at her. Maybe he did the right thing breaking it off with you instead of cheating on you and leading you on. This reconfirms lie number 3. "Should I confront him about it or should I let it go? It is so hard for me to swallow it. I want to know the true so I could accept the fact that there is no reconciliation" -Yes you should confront him and let him know the bitch that he really is. There's no denying that this FB girl is the real reason behind your break up, not your parents. "I should stop blaming myself for this fail relationship and my strict parents. " -That's sad if you think that way. Quit making excuses and blaming yourself and your parents. " I should just move on. I can't right now because he still put up a front and nice to me. " -You are really in denial, if you think he's actually going to be get back with you. Unless the chick on FB wasn't what he thought she'd be, then he might run back to you. "Should I call him over the phone or confront him face to face? Should i just leave the topic alone for awhile. I am afraid i would get too emotional. " -Unless you want to keep blaming yourself and your parents and act like you don't know what happened to your relationship, then you need to get some answers. " I also not very good at reading other people body language. " -That girl on FB is probably better at that than you are. "I am in my late 20s. My parents are just so controlling. They don't want be to date anyone. I know but I just feel so alone. I can't concentrate on work or anything." -Oh WTF? so you're in your late 20s and still clueless about life?!? And you call your parents controlling?? How about stop being a lil baby and make decisions for yourself. You are a grown ass woman, not a teen. Talking about my parents too controlling.. I can't believe my eyes. How is that you've been dating the guy for THREE years and your parents still hate him?? Either you went against your parents wishes was messing around with the guy behind your parents back, or you've never made an attempt to talk with your parents and try to get them to accept him. You have nobody to blame for this relationship fail, but yourself for not seeing that this was coming and that you're parents was right about the guy being no good all this time.
