i actually skipped most of this thread, but when i read ralph's post. i agreed with it when i was your age i felt the same way (as you have stated in your first post about naggy parents), but when i got into college, i realized how much they sacrificed for me you have to understand that when your parents nag and become "ma fan" and stuff that they want good for you
Me, a spoiled brat? Ha. I wish. I've been wearing the same clothes since who knows when. All the phones I've gotten were free, and were donated by my parent's friends.I have a playstation, so? It was a gift from families overseas. In fact. Most, if not all the money I've been saving up has gone to paying bills for the house. I don't really think you have the right to call me one, you don't even know what goes on in my house. Both my parents are problematic, they're arguing 24/7. Who has to resolve everything? I do. If I don't. My dad beats the living shit out of me. But I do agree on your one point. Why not use the money for my lessons, for vacation. I take great offfense when someone calls me spoiled, sure I may seem like it. But unless you really know me, you're not really in a position to tell me that. I'm far from spoiled. I help around the house, cook, do laundry, etc. Suck it up? I've been doing it for 16 years of life. There were 3 years in my life when I was afraid to go home after school. Don't call me spoiled. Other than that. Thanks for the advice and criticism. EDIT: I'd also like to mention. I have never received a gift without working for it. Like my dad always says "there's no such thing as a free lunch in this world" nothing is ever handed to me, I either teach myself or move on without it. and yes. im the only child.
ur 16... and ur already complaining about all these things no1 has a perfect life if u don't work for what u want, u won't ever understand how easy or how hard it is to actually earn something ur saying wat u earn goes to pay the bills, what bills do u pay? if ur not enjoying or wanting to do any of ur music - parents can't exactly "force" u. they're better off using that $$ to pay the bills as opposed to sending u to do something. i'm sure there was a point in ur life when u were much younger that you actually liked and wanted to do it. if you didn't, you wouldn't have gotten to where u are now. if u hated it, u woulda not passed and failed and then they would have just stopped u from doing it. they want u to be good at "something". they do care for u, and as opposed to just working at say maccas, and dropping outta skool... they're trying to give u some skills and advantage in life that no1 else has. if u think ur old enough to know what u want, then go ahead, stop doing music and do what u want. u make choices in life that affect ur future, and so long as u dont' regret it, its all good. life is a learning experience. and from what everyone says, parents are still always doing whats best for u u wanting to psychology isn't really an "alternative" to music. you just need to consider everything, and i'm sure u haven't yet
yeah. but the thing is. if i just not passed and failed it. then its a waste of money. since they're paying anyways. i might as well try right? if we dont have enough for the month, i pay for parts of the mortgage, appliances. etc. my problem isnt really that they're making me do it. its that they arent really understanding my perspective. i've tried putting myself in their shoes. yes i understand that what they're doing for me is good, (which is why i havent ran away like most idiots) but they never seem to understand how i feel. i've tried reasoning, standing up, but i always get the same response. which is the "once you start, you can't stop"
i believe my question was how to cope with the situation. not. secede from the family. :/ anyways. if everyones going to tell me the same thing to stfu and suck it up. then im done here.
as i said, u know lifes never gonna b perfect u won't always get what u want... and u know ur parents are doing it for the good of u and ur future yes, u probably odn't like it anymore, but if it keeps them happy - y not just let them be and keep them happy music isn't going to take up 100% of ur time, u still have a life maybe when u start to do other activities and hobbies, they "may" notice you're struggling to cope and then ask u to decide what u wanna do soon you're gonna finish school, maybe they'll make u concentrate on studies and then u can just stop music altogether its asian parents, they always want their kids to be smart and the best. and of course, studies is going to be much more important than doing music u want to do psychology... and like i mentioned before, u can always do med and major in psych. definitely will keep them happy, and u can do what u want. but be prepared to do all the other med related stuff
its funny. because music is actually taking my life away. my parents and teacher make me go to the lesson place. where i practice for 6 hours straight, with no break whatsoever. i've gone almost 4 days a week this summer. But i like the advice about uni. thanks.
That would explain a lot. Despite your protestations to the contrary, your entire argument is brimming with a sense of entitlement that many others (and not just myself) can clearly see. You're correct in that we do not know your entire familial situation, but that doesn't mean that we can't figure out your basic milieu from your stated scenario. Moreover, you can't have it both ways; that is, get people to agree with your rant (based on your story) and then if they don't, say that they don't have the full story. There is no "I Win and You Lose" escape clause in public forums, you get the opinions that you get. From where I sit, most of the feedback in PA is generally honest, and yes, some of it may be brutally so. But when you so publicly engage a forum with your personal issues, then you should be prepared for both positive and negative responses. Your world: Never received a gift without working for it? Real world: Work your ass off and never receive anything Your world: I'm far from spoiled. I help around the house, cook, do laundry, etc. Real world: Chores are a part of your responsibility, it isn't a choice, but a life requirement. Your world: Both my parents are problematic, they're arguing 24/7. Who has to resolve everything? I do. Real world: It all revolves around you doesn't it. Quit school, get a job, and raise your parents. That'll give a bit more perspective. Your world: In fact. Most, if not all the money I've been saving up has gone to paying bills for the house. Real world: You have money to save? Where did you get it? Do you have a job? Or do you have your hand out and use someone else's money? No offense, but while all your arguments may seem genuine and resonant with you, I don't see any of them as being of any meaningful value insofar as being defensible positions. I think a lot of this dissonance resides in the fact that you're a teenager, and like a lot of your peers, just have A LOT of growing up to do. Good luck to you, and to your parents (with you, they're certainly going to need it).
Well the thing is they currently own your ass so you "working" for anything don't really count as they are giving you probably 10 times as much back. You can complain when you pay all the bills, live on your own, and when you are actually the one supporting them! Unless they beat you and get drunk all the time, rape you, molest you, starve you, cut you....they are decent parents! Dont take shit for granted, if you really want to get out get emancipated and break all ties but otherwise try to look at it from their perspective. Some people dont even have parents to care for them, imagine that you be out in the fucking streets or in an orphanage where it is more strict.
Sorry I just got this song stuck in my head now [video=youtube;o63HhIvma34]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o63HhIvma34[/video]
you hit the nail spot on. and please ralph, do continue using such sophisticated vocabulary. it's a pleasure learning from your posts (both grammatically and philosophically), and i know to have a dictionary ready at hand more often.
Had a mini thought about this You compare person C & D. C works his ass off in highschool while D is a moderately working student. Yes they will both have a graduation certificate in highschool, but C will the more successful person. C will likely have a better job (rank wise, salary) cause of his hard-working personality compared to D, who always just do his work moderately. The boss will liekly be like "Oh i like you, you work hard and shit. you will get a promo+raise very soon" (assuming you've been part of the company for a while). If the boss is a dick, then C dont get any of those. So in terms of working harder, you won't get a "gift" but more of a reward for a better pay, promotion, etc in the future. Yes you may not get anything like, a car, house or watch while you're working your ass off. But you get a raise or promotion over a period of time. Yes, a raise or promotion won't happen each week or 3 months, but i hope you get the gist of what i'm tryna say . && of course a raise and promotion will soon have a limit once you reach or near the top but as a starter, you work hard for a raise and promotion over the course of your career right?
I'd like to start off by asking you, was that last bit really necessary? You just pretty much told me "hey, f*ck you, you're worthless to your family and your family could be better off without you" are you going to tell your kids the same thing if they turn out the same? You'll probably just answer this question by saying "oh I'll raise them properly" nothing is absolute. If it was we would be the perfect world, but like everyone says, you can't lead a perfect life. And for everyone who thinks I don't understand that, I do, I never asked for a solution on getting rid of my problem. I was wondering if any others felt the same way as I have. I don't get it. You're acknowledging the fact that I do in fact, help around the house, yet you still continue to think I'm spoiled. Where do I get money? Doing odd jobs, mowing lawns, shoveling snow. I realize that on a public forum that I will get brutal feedback, but I didn't expect it from an adult such as yourself.(Or so you claim) do you conduct yourself like this in everyday life? In the real world, if you work your ass off you won't get anything? Are you serious? The succesful people in life are the ones who work their hardest. All this talk about seeing things in my parents perspective have you ever thought of putting things in my perspective? Or maybe you've never felt this way because as a child, maybe you were spoiled and got everything you ever wanted. I understand that my parents mean well, and that they're just trying to look out for me, and that I can be an ungrateful brat sometimes that take things for granted, like you said, I'm only sixteen, and I have a lot of growing up to do still, but as an "adult" shouldn't you have set a better example instead of telling me, "yeah you're trash, if you weren't around, your parents would lead a much better life". At least reno had the decency and was polite enough to explain where I went wrong, and what I can do in the future. Anyways, I'm done here, feel free to continue counter-arguing me, I already understand my mistakes, and that my parents mean well, but, even though I completely realize this, I will not admit that I am spoiled, for I am not.
^lmao basically like i said either consult a counselor if you feel that you are abused by your parents or live with it they are obviously going to think your 16 and stupid but if its legit thats all you can do. Complaining gets you nowhere, unless right now you have a job and make enough money yourself that you will be able to survive if they kick you out with nothing, you can't do shit. You even said not everyone can live a perfect life... so let it all out go back to school tomorrow eat the school lunch with your lunch money (paid by the government or your parents ofc) go to music practice and wait until your ready to survive on your own to break free of your parents evil grasp! But by that time you wouldn't want too hahahah. high school dont mean shit in the future or translate to any job lmaoooo...high school is basically your ticket into a decent university. Your employer wont give a shit about your high school gpa as it means absolutely nothing, only the university admittance board will.
If you have shit marks in high school, you wont get into a good university. Dont know how things work in America, but Universities here have a requirement of what your high school mark is before they can accept you. You can apply to 10 Universities and not all 10 of them will accept you cause your marks are shit. But ok, change w/e i said to University in my prev post. Just giving an example though~ or........ ..you can even scrap the university or high school thought i had in my previous post. But if two person just joined a company and one works harder than the other. Chances are the one working harder will be the first to get a raise right?
^ No, it depends on being hard working alright but not to the full extent. The one who is more clever is definitely going to be more successful. If one person is lazy but has connections and hookups he is still going to get a better position in jobs than the hard worker who doesn't make connections etc. Also it will depend on experience, attitude and work ethics. If your employer hates your ass no matter how hard you work you never gonna get that promotion! Also getting a degree from a more prominent university will definitely give you an advantage while finding work but don't feel that you are entitled to anything. And thats where i go back to the attitude thing, if you feel an overwhelming sense of entitlement, your gonna get killed out there lmaooo. You need to be humble etc even if you feel you are more deserving than the other.
Obviously the one's whose more clever will get the advantage. The one whose more clever is the one probably with more education, but this is not 100% true. If you exclude the fact that if some clever people = goo wak actions, no hookups nor connections (since both are new employee) & to take in the fact that ONLY factor is working hard or not, the one working harder will be the one going up the ladder (Though i know, having only this factor is NOT possible). But in general, asides from having a decent coworker relationships and such, the boss will obviously like the one that can do their job more efficient. Long story short up there, if both employee has the equal amount of relationship with the coworkers and boss. But one can do shit more efficient, then the boss will obv like one more than the other. ~~If your employee hates your ass, then why you even staying there! Sadness = not working efficient = :nono: = chow yau yuu. Or you can leave and find another place more suitable. & also, if your employee hates your ass, then it has something to do with your personality most likely -lol
lol again no one is entitled to anything...some people will stay there cause obviously they can't get a job elsewhere and they will kiss ass. Unless you own the business you will have to take it from your boss no matter what lol. Not everyone can say oh my boss hates me i'm leaving! They gotta think about their young bucks and how they will survive without the job. Going back to the original topic, think of your parents as your boss lmao, but they are obviously way more lenient bosses as they will overlook stuff. Act like that with your boss your ass is gone! Also hard working doesn't necessary mean efficiency at all that all depends on skills and intelligence. But you are assuming that its a perfect world and everyone has a clean slate with no advantages! Theres no perfect world pok guy Life isnt a math or logic problem!
Everything your mum does is her wanting you to have a better life, learn a few skills along the way. I used to hate going to swimming lessons and chinese school, but were forced to go to them everyday, hated my parents back then. But years later I now look back at how useful it is, and thanks to my annoying pesistent parents, I actually have a better life. Its safe to say that in the end, your parents knows whats best for you.
