100 reasons why its good to be a guy.

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by uraha, Aug 11, 2007.

  1. uraha

    uraha Well-Known Member

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    The top 100 reasons it's great to be a guy

    1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
    3. You know stuff about tanks.
    4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
    5. Monday Night Football.
    6. You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.
    7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
    8. You can open all your own jars.
    9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
    10. Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind.
    11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
    12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
    13. All your orgasms are real.
    14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
    15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
    16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
    17. You understand why Stripes is funny.
    18. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.
    19. Your last name stays put.
    20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
    21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
    22. You can kill your own food.
    23. The garage is all yours.
    24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
    26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
    27. You never have to clean the toilet.
    28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
    29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
    30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
    32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
    33. The National College Cheerleading Championship
    34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
    35. You don't have to shave below your neck.
    36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.
    37. If you're 34 and single nobody notices.
    38. You can write your name in the snow.
    39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
    40. Everything on your face stays its original color.
    41. Chocolate is just another snack.
    42. You can be president.
    43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
    44. Flowers fix everything.
    45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
    46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
    47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
    48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
    49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
    50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
    51. Foreplay is optional.
    52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
    53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
    54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
    55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
    56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
    57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
    59. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without even thinking (He must be mad at me)
    60. The world is your urinal.
    61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
    62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
    63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
    64. One mood, all the time.
    65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
    66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.
    67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
    68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
    69. Same work....more pay.
    70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
    71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
    72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
    73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
    74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
    75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
    76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
    77. The remote is yours and yours alone.
    78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
    79. ESPN's sports center.
    80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
    81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
    82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
    83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
    84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
    85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell you friends you've changed.
    86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
    87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*#k it!"
    88. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
    89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.
    90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.
    92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
    93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
    94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
    96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
    97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
    98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"
    99. Baywatch
    100. There is always a game on somewhere.
     
  2. itzd0pey

    itzd0pey Well-Known Member

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    thats umm.. really interesting :) lol

    63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

    wdf ahahas.
     
  3. dim8sum

    dim8sum ♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪....

    The top 100 reasons it's great to be a guy

    1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
    3.You know stuff about tanks. -lol
    4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
    5. Monday Night Football.
    6. You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.
    7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
    8. You can open all your own jars.
    9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
    10. Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind. [I find that most guys go to salons these days and still blow a fortune on a cut and style]
    11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
    12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
    13. All your orgasms are real.
    14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
    15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
    16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
    17. You understand why Stripes is funny.
    18. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.
    19. Your last name stays put.
    20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
    21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
    22. You can kill your own food.
    23. The garage is all yours.
    24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
    26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow. -rotfl
    27. You never have to clean the toilet.
    28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
    29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
    30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
    32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
    33. The National College Cheerleading Championship
    34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
    35. You don't have to shave below your neck.
    36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.
    37. If you're 34 and single nobody notices.
    38. You can write your name in the snow.
    39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
    40. Everything on your face stays its original color.
    41. Chocolate is just another snack.
    42. You can be president.
    43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
    44. Flowers fix everything.
    45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
    46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
    47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
    48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
    49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
    50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
    51. Foreplay is optional.
    52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
    53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
    54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
    55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
    56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
    57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
    59. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without even thinking (He must be mad at me)
    60. The world is your urinal.
    61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
    62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
    63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
    64. One mood, all the time.
    65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
    66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.
    67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle. :D
    68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
    69. Same work....more pay. LOL
    70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
    71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
    72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
    73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
    74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
    75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
    76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
    77. The remote is yours and yours alone.
    78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
    79. ESPN's sports center.
    80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
    81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
    82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
    83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
    84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
    85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell you friends you've changed.
    86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.-rotfl
    87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*#k it!"
    88. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
    89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.
    90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.
    92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
    93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
    94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
    96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
    97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
    98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"
    99. Baywatch
    100. There is always a game on somewhere.
     
  4. MissCheekS

    MissCheekS Reconnaîssant ❤

    Yes, hate to admit....but... I wish i was a guy sometimes lol =)

    But....

    "12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview."
    ass....it can be an advantage sometimes...lol
    U will be surprised if u see what a hot ass can do in some offices....
    with that ass...u can get away with lots more stuff and unlike with guys...
    bosses have a harder time to say no to u
    how cool that u can have ur ass get things done for u...without even doing anything!

    "14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex."
    But trust me....a really nice bag or other nice item would =)

    "18. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group."
    I actually enjoy that...=)...just a lil quick "update" alone with my chicks
    but guy friends always make comments about it lol

    "27. You never have to clean the toilet."
    Pfff....no way im gonna be the only one who cleans toilets when im married!

    "36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite."
    Thats not always true....i happen to know that some women who do have hairy asses lol.....
    and i dont believe all guys have hairy asses :p

    "83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked."
    Errrrr? right? =/


    "97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them."
    oi....we live in y2k7!
     
  5. DragonK550i

    DragonK550i Well-Known Member

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    true true
     
  6. Phoenix

    Phoenix *~Though she be but little, she is fierce~*

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    87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*#k it!"

    thats what my bf does..lol
     
  7. Knoctur_nal

    Knoctur_nal |Force 10 from Navarone|

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    3. You know stuff about tanks.
    wtf..who the hell made this list...
     
  8. The_Jelly

    The_Jelly NSFW? :P

    \
    haha...
     
  9. [N]

    [N] RATED [ ]

    74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

    Yes we have a very important role in procreation lols

    96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.

    Amen
     
  10. ab289

    ab289 Well-Known Member

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    what in the world does that mean?
     
  11. ProjectD

    ProjectD VIP yay :]

    but i dont know anything about tanks -_-
     
  12. Knoctur_nal

    Knoctur_nal |Force 10 from Navarone|

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    maybe it was written by the military...hahah
     
  13. brown_bear

    brown_bear ☆‧° ☆﹒﹒‧ ☆ ﹒﹒‧☆‧° ☆

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    ^ hahahaha when i read the tanks one....i thought of them little jumpers that dun have sleeves on em -rotfl
     
  14. Knoctur_nal

    Knoctur_nal |Force 10 from Navarone|

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    well..he could be a tank top expert..hahah
     
  15. nyckeion

    nyckeion ....Boo....

    urinal and the tank thing...........hell i dunno crap about it
    how in the world is urinal my world
     
  16. brown_bear

    brown_bear ☆‧° ☆﹒﹒‧ ☆ ﹒﹒‧☆‧° ☆

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    so what are you into.....a checkered tank or polka dots??? hahahaha
     
  17. mkfk1

    mkfk1 Well-Known Member

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    26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.

    damn, i always imagine if any of my female fdys ever does that hahahaha
    ________
    buy easy vape vaporizer
     
    #17 mkfk1, Aug 13, 2007
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2011
  18. stilish

    stilish Well-Known Member

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    HAHAHAHA, this list is hella funny...i like number 32, man i love being a guy
     
  19. tonkachi

    tonkachi Well-Known Member

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    means we can use the bathroom anywhere at anytime..regardles of where we are. just need a bush and some cover :)
     
  20. xdly

    xdly Well-Known Member

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    1 reason why its bad to be a guy: you should pay most of the things when you're with a group (with girls) :D