OMG...This is kind of an embarassment because I'm a 21 year old girl who has never been in a relationship before, so I really have no experience in this field whatsoever...Therefore I really do need some advice in the following questions. *sighs* -blush 1) If a guy is a lot older than you, does it really matter? I mean...my oldest sister is married to someone older than her by 17 years; nobody had anything to say about that but when my friends/family feel that I have a crush on someone who's 10+ years older than me, they start lecturing me about it. Are they really being hypocrites or does the problem lie with me? 2) How do you know if a person likes you? Because of the attention he gives you? Because he acts differently around you? Because he does things for you even when he knows that he's not getting any benefit from it? Gosh, I don't know anymore. Sometimes...he acts rather close to me. But at other times, he acts...well...he never acted distant to me. But there are sometimes when...actually, scratch that. He never let me feel that he was distant to me at all. - -;;;....In fact, most of the time, he makes me feel that he has my undivided attention...I mean, whenever he laughs at something, he would look at me or something like that and whenever I ask him to do something, most of the time, he would do it. Gosh, I'm so confused :( 4) How do you know if you have a crush on someone? In love with someone? Infatuated with someone? I mean...I really don't know how I feel about this guy in question right now. At first, I was sure that I only had a crush on him. Then, I thought that I had sorted it out and he was only a brother to me. But recently, I'm not sure about that too anymore. Someone help.
i am also 21 like you but have experience. im gonna try to answer all three of your questions with one sentence: love does not exist.-shock
I can't answer that. Only rule that I really go by with relationships is that there are no rules. So it's all a matter of preference on your part. But I find number 2 interesting... Women are the queen of giving out tests to figure the guy out. I'm surprised you're having difficulty I don't know what the hell happened to 3 , but to answer #4... if you find yourself flirting with him, wanting him to flirt back, and want the flirting to lead to more flirting... then you're atleast interested. Interest is all you need to get started... The more you over analyze, the more you will confuse yourself. I say make the jump and tell the guy you want to try a relationship. If he says no thx, you move on... if he says yes, you'll get to find out first hand what a "relationship" is like. P.S. There's nothing sad about not being in a relationship by 21. If it shows anything, it shows that you're mature and picky when it comes to guys
Okay, so this is going to be rather long, but here goes.... Firstly, you shouldn't be embarrassed that you're 21 and still have not had a relationship before. People want different things at different ages, and if you haven't had a relationship yet, it's not your problem. Go at your own pace, and don't ever do things just to conform. If you feel like you have feelings for somebody, then go for it! 'Till then, just let nature take its course. The age old question. What is the perfect age gap? There is no such thing. You hear it all day that 'love is blind' and 'love has no boundaries.' Just because somebody is a lot older than you, it doesn't necessarily mean that he's not the best fit for you. However, you have to use your own judgment. If the person is a lot older than you, sometimes, you have to question why he doesn't have somebody his age and why he's hanging around people who's younger than him by quite a bit. It's not really hypocrisy that your relatives are displaying; rather, I feel like it's more concern for you. Like you've previously mentioned, you've never had a relationship before... Thus, you don't really know what to expect and what are the tell tale signs of trouble. There are a lot of people out there who have ulterior motives when they're involved in relationships, and your relatives just want to make sure that you won't get hurt in a way that could be prevented. If you look on webmd for symptoms of having a crush on somebody, you wouldn't be able to find it. The reason is that everybody goes through different emotions and go about things differently. For me, I usually try to spend more time with a person if I have a crush on him. I think about him a bit more, and just thinking about him makes me smile. I look forward to seeing him/spending time with him. When I'm in love, I usually let my guard down, meaning, I'm completely comfortable telling him about everything in my life. I've never been infatuated with somebody before (except for maybe Daniel Henney, but that's a whole different topic altogether! Hehe. ), but I guess infatuation would mean that you feel like you could give your life away to somebody that you don't know too well. It sounds to me like you don't know him very well, so you should probably take a bit more time to get to know him. Going out casually and having a drink or grabbing a bite is perfectly normal for 2 friends to do. This way, you'll get to know him better and probably have a better gauge at how you feel about him. At the same time, I feel like you're confused about quite a bit of things. Sit down and figure out what you're feeling and what they mean to you. That way, you wouldn't have that many questions running through your head at once. Since you haven't had a relationship before, it's very normal for you to be skeptical about everything. It's a lot to take in at once, but at the same time, you're moving on to a different stage in your life. Good luck!
#1 if the guy is 31 and your 21, it could be normal. but just get to know the guy more before you do anything with him. he could be a loser or just want to have fun with younger girls. theres a reason why he's not married or with a girl around his age. # 2 if the guy goes out of his way to do stuff for you, usually means something #3 if you enjoy spending time with them and really miss those moments when your not with them
I'm no expert, but I think... It's wierd for you to even be hanging around a 31+ year old. I'm assuming you're still in college, so it'll be one of the easiest times to find a bf. You can find single guys left and right. When you graduate and you're left with coworkers and friends of friends...then going for someone older is alright. I'm 30- and I probably wouldn't go for someone 21. It'll be way too easy for me to mack them. I would impress them without even trying. I'd feel like I'm robbing the cradle. Taking the chick before she knows any better, and so she has noone to compare me to...But of course, everyone is different. If you're really mature for your age and really really hot...I'd have to go for you =P I think relationships usually start with infatuation. A girl likes something(looks, personality, money) about the guy and vice versa. They decide to commit and go out...and in time, they start loving each other. With infatuation...you're probably thinking about yourself. I like him, he's hot! With love, you're probably thinking about the other person. And then you start nagging him like your mom does to you.
I recommend you to do a background check on him. No, you don't need to hire a detective, but you are the detective. Get to know his past history but eventually whatever comes out to one's mouth is not always true. Good luck. Also, you are still young... in a sense that you have no experience at all in a relationship. Remember...you are FRESH so basically a waaaaay older man than you would eventually "fish and eat". If I were you, stay behind the defense line. There's always more than one person for you in this world.
Answer 1. Age sometimes didn't matter, but ofcourse make sure he doesn't look like your dad when you go out with him. Your family are only trying to protect you. Maybe wrong approach! Anwser 2. Are you sure you meant "like" and not "love"? He might be falling for you or are in love with you. Answer 3. If you are always thinking about him and hoping to see him everyday, then you are falling...........in the love trap. So are you ready for tears other than love bliss????????????
you know what, it's your first time and i'm sure you need to have this and it is the greatest experience...just let things happen the way it must be...be yourself and trust your instincts...goodluck...
I'm 21 too and although i have no official relationship experience does not mean i haven't had my heart broken before...but don't be scared about THAT--sometimes a little hurting won't do you much harm. "are you doing the right or wrong thing"? <---need to drop those questionings. my advice to you is just be honest with yourself and go for your gut feelings. because you never know what the outcome might be. don't be afraid of what other people think and this or that. fear and waiting will only causes you to be even more confused. your feelings and wants should be the decider in a relationship---whether or not it's true love...it's what you make of it. take care of yourself first. hey---kudos to you...i'm 21 and don't even have a potential candidate yet. but then you convince yourself that there are more things to life than love (relationship between a man and a woman.) ^_^;;
owh come on.. im 23 n ive never been in any real rlationship too.. love takes time, one day ull find it
^ that's right, love takes time. don't worry, love just come by one day, which you don't even know it. and next thing you know, you will have a good relationship.
uhm im 21 and im single -tongue2 haha jk... lets see, relationships aren't the best thing in the world. i have just gotten out of a 3 year relationship... its so fun being single. maybe u're too picky, just go and try dating around, get fresh with some guy, experience a little. life is short, quit watching mtv and anime. haha.
Damn...I am pretty old in this thread. I am 30 and dating one hot 19 yrs old. Lot of peoples got jealous because she like older guys. I don't know how i got myself in to this crab.
you must be smart...21 and never had a bf...how much study have you done..?...but your love will come.. i know...because ..everyone..deserves. one .right..?-unsure
looking at ur essay i can sort of understand y u r 21 n still haven't been in a relationship... u sound like a 14 year old this is wot's so great abt dating... it gives u the opportunity to end the relationship if it's the wrong person... u r not gonna marry this guy girl... if u like this guy enough to date him then throw him more signals or even ask him out... if not then forget abt him n work on someone u like...
