What should i do? on one hand i'm so happy that he likes me too, on the other i'm soo torn apart that he's still attached! He's a superbly nice guy, stuck in a rotten relationship for 3 years. he's now just filling in the responsibility part, rather than being in a happy relationship. on another angle i'm just saving him, showing him what love should be... but no matter what i say to convince myself, i still feel that this aint right. -down does that make me a bad person? what's a guy point of view?
Totally understand where you're coming from and how you feel, but you have to be careful, cause in the end, you're the one who's going to get hurt, if you continue to get attached to him. Because you're not a part of the relationship with his girlfriend, you don't truly know how he feels about her or how he is to her when they're together. He can say all the things in the world to keep stringing you along, but in the end, he is still with her, and with you at the same time. Don't be so naive to believe what he's saying to you... because he knows exactly what to say to you to keep you with him. I've said this many times before but guys will say anything to get what they want. Words don't mean anything; actions mean a lot. By him staying with her to fulfill some sort of responsibility, it's all bogus. If he really were so responsible, he would break it off with his girlfriend instead of cheating on her. He's just playing you and his girlfriend. I'm sure he's confused about how he feels about his girlfriend and how he feels about you, but if you continue to stick around, it's not going to clear up any confusion for him... he'll just keep playing until somebody decides to call it quits, you or his girlfriend. I was in a similar situation as you. This guy had a girlfriend; he made a move on me; I told him to back off because he has a girlfriend. For months, he kept telling me that he and his girlfriend were having problems and that he doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore. I didn't buy it and I'll never buy it. To the best of my knowledge, he is still with his girlfriend 'till this very day. Until the guy actually breaks up with his girlfriend, everything else is just hypothetical. If you continue to see him, what happens when he finds somebody else more attractive? You're just setting yourself up to get hurt. It's not a fun position to be in. Besides, if he can do that to his girlfriend, what makes you think he won't do the same to you? He could just as easily start another relationship while he is with you, and it's not a good feeling to be insecure.
Ah another victim... The bad person is the guy. There's no reason to remain in a "rotten" relationship. I don't see the "responsibilities" that you are referring to. So if you could explain the circumstances more, it'd be very helpful because it's usually only excuses. They don't REALLY want to break up with their GF. A guy that's willing to cheat behind her GF says a lot. Say he breaks up with her, then you become his GF... what's to stop him from cheating behind your back? Nothing... he's done it before, gotten away with it, and possibly ended up with a better girl. Cheating on a relationship is a high level of dishonesty IMO, he could possibly be lying about a lot of things. Personally, I'd be more inclined to call him a liar... Many women are attracted to guys that they sympathize with as "victims". They want to be "the one" that makes him happy and well again. I fear you're being played and he's only lying and acting that way to get to you. So unless you can give me good justification for his cheating ways, I say dump his ass and find someone else that's deserving of your time.
ahh yes, shy, but you overlooked one very important point. What if synonymous, was a guy! Ok, so the guy is actually realizing that he prefers guys instead and so he is staying with his girlfriend to fulfill the responsibility part. Some sorta like Brokeback Mt. type thing goin' on here... although haven't watched the movie.. but i think thas the gist of it yea? but if synonymous, you happen to be a girl -lol. Then I'd say it's not fault nor does it make you a bad person. So how long have you been with him really?? And I mean the guy did spend 3 years with the other girl... just what kinda responsibilities does he have?? I mean did the girl save his life or something?? cuz if she did then he prolly owes it to her... And if three years he can change his mind about some1 then he can just as well find some1 else after being with you... don't play into his game. Make him choose quickly or else forget about him... EDIT: My first couple of sentences refers to AVANT as well... and yall remember he who laughs last... laughs best... -lol
It's the year 2006... I still don't see the responsibility. If one knows he/she is gay, then you go that route. If he's bi and unsure, then don't have a relationship until he figures it out. I haven't seen BBM.
Honestly I hate 3 person relationship. It show how good the other person in lying. If the other gf dont know about you I think you should becarefull the chance of the relationship had more than 3 person is very high. Love is where 2 person had feeling toward each other. If 3 person is a test on who can hang on longer. Ask yourself is it worth it.
if you feel that it ain't right then don't continue seeing him! you're only making yourself look bad. and it sounds like he's just using you.
if he was really a superbly nice guy then he wouldn't have let u b the 3rd person... he would've either left his gf n b with u... or he wouldn't show his affection towards to n put u into this painful position... just admit it... he's a selfish jerk... he wants u but he doesn't wanna b the bad n break up with his gf... too chicken to do the right thing...
Let me tell you about 3rd person. You are just a shoulder to lean on. He don't love you, He just want a rebound when he needed one. I can tell you this because i was in this relationship before. If he liked you as he sayed, he were leave her ass for you already. So, wake your ass up and move on. Don't hurt yourself more. **reality check** He going back with her NOT you. So, think twice about it.
If his relationship was so "rotten" he wouldn't hav stuck around for 3 years, that's just an excuse to get u hooked, make u feel like he's such a nice guy... i agree w/ rideondiss, he will choose her in the end...not u...please move on..
YOU WHORE... trying to steal someone else BF!!!... ^jk.. seriously, jking... Anyway, it's never good to be the third person no matter how much that person loves you. I think it just screw up for all of the 3 people, it's hard enough being with 1 but being with 2 -shock
if he really likes u then he shoulda dumped that girl lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng time ago
Exactly what dawn said. Besides it is a stupid excuse to said that he is only doing the responsible thing... The only responsible thing there is to do is break with with either one of you girls, since there is no future for 2 girls in his life unless he is a mormon...
yup... unless the 3 of u goes to get married in Afghanistan or some country that allows men to have multiple wives...
I had almost the same problem...I think I was the third person too...Thoug I knew him first I didn´t have that feeling for him before later. He met a girl on the net and they started a relationship but they have never met before, and then they broke up and got back togehter and then she was disappeard for a while...then he started to hang out with me...and there was definitley som feelings...I didn´t know then that he got involved with this girl before a few days ago...and it was she who told me...I rather wanted to hear that from him than that girl...but luckily I didn´t really got involved with him because I didn´t trust him fully. He had feelings for me but at the same time for her too...but I didn´t want to be the third person so I moved on...still a bit sad and hurt but I´m trying my best and i´m trying to be optmistic and think forward
I think you are just over analyze everything. If he likes you and you like him, then you guys should start to going out. If he still dating her for the sake of responsibilities then it just wrong, becuase in the long run it would hurt the 3 of you more.
