My friend and I had a discussion about this earlier. She has a cousin who went through an abortion for her bf. After a couple of years, he cheated on her by having a one night stand with someone else, but claims he was very sorry. Naturally, she broke up with him although she still had feelings for him. He told her he would wait since he made the mistake and felt responsible.. but not long after that, he met someone else. She was hurt because she felt he should've continued waiting in case she changed her mind. So, do you guys think he should be responsible until the end to be with her because of their abortion? -I personally don't think so. I mean, once the relationship is over then I really don't see any reason why the guy should still be held accountable for the abortion. My friend on the other hand thinks it was very irresponsible of the guy because he didn't stand by his words. I don't know..I guess I'm kinda skeptical about it, which is why I want to hear you guys's opinions. Psychologically her cousin thinks that she can no longer have any children, and therefore is afraid to approach anymore committed relationships. Meanwhile, 6 months after they'd broken up he hooked up with someone else and moves on without her. Since both parties were responsible for the abortion, do you think that both parties should be going through this mental pain? How easy is it for a guy to pick up and leave a relationship without thinking about the committed responsibility behind it? My friend told me that the decision of the abortion was made because the guy did not have the money to support the child when he was still in school. But at the time, he promised her cousin that he would be there for her no matter what the consequences would be and that he would be there for her forever. Now, her cousin is also questioning whether or not she should tell her future boyfriend about the abortion, and if any guy would accept her after she tells him that. -So this one's for the guys. If you found out that the girl you've been dating (say for 3 months) has had an abortion before, would you break up with her just cause? Why or why not?
Yeh i mite break up with a girl if she's had an abortion before, this is because she's not a virgin when i met her! But it depends relli on the girls looks and personallity then i would consider stuff...
k....remember this.....it takes two to tango (i know old and lame saying, but effective) if they must have sex then......if she didn't want to get pregnant then she should have taken birth control....if he didn't want a kid he should have worn a condom....they're both at fault no one is to blame and if he cheats on her it has nothing to do with the abortion and who is at fault and why it's wrong that he/she blah blah blah....this is tough love for those who think this is harsh....guys will always look and want other women.....it just depends on if they can control those feelings by not acting on it..... as for the future relationship for the girl....one she needs to move on....he did.....meaning she should have some alone time for a while (meaning 6 months+).....start dating and don't have such a serious relationship with a guy, she's sounds very young....so if she doesn't have a serious relationship then no she doesn't need to tell them.....if she's dating him for about 3-4 years and it seems that he might be the one she's going to marry....meaning at least over 21....then she should tell....other than that...the guy doesn't need to know anything and if he doesn't want to get serious with her then i don't think he would really care as well..... i personally would not break up with her if we were dating for a few years...but that depends on where we are in the relationship....and do i want her to be my wife....if i do then i don't care....if we just started out in the relationship then i wouldn't have gotten the chance to love her enough to stay....
honestly if you ask me this is a free world ppl do feel in love really quick but also might lost it very quick. I learn something the hard way. When we fall in love they might be no reason but when it change confirm can get thousand of reason.So just go on and forget it.
Just because she's had 1 abortion, it doesn't mean that she will never ever be able to have children again. Provided that the abortion was done at a clinic, very rarely will it affect a woman's future fertility. There remains a false perception that an abortion can be harmful to health, but this is, in fact, not the case. In times gone by before abortions were legal, operations were performed outside the law by backstreet abortionists using unsterilised equipment and dangerous techniques. Complications were common after such procedures ranging from pelvic infection to infertility, and even death on many occasions. However, this is no longer the case. Now the operation is carried out under general anaesthesia in sterile hospital environments by sympathetic staff in controlled and regulated fashion. The procedure does not damage the cervix or the rest of the womb, and provided no post-operative infection takes place, as it very seldom does, there is no reason why your friend's cousin's fertility should be affected. I understand that going through an abortion is tough, but she has to pick up her life and move on. The baby was hers, and she agreed to get an abortion, so she can't hold the guy responsible for the rest of his life for whatever post-stress she has. Maybe he has gone through anguish as a result. You never know; she doesn't know. Maybe he deals with it by being with somebody else. One question - was he there for her when she was going through the abortion? If yes, then he has fulfilled his responsibilities. If not, then why is she lingering over a bastard like that? Guys always promise the world when things like this happen. Girls should always just hold what they say with a grain of salt. The fact of the matter is, he's moved on, and your friend's cousin should as well. There's no point in dwelling over a relationship that is in the past. I just hope that both your friend's cousin and her now ex-boyfriend learn from the mistakes that they've made. Abortions are pretty common these days. What happened in her life prior to her new relationships should not be held against her. If a guy really loves her, then he would not hold it against her. Whether or not she wants to tell her new boyfriend that, it's entirely up to her. If I were to go through such an event, I'd like to tell my boyfriend (imaginary so far) just because I always like to be open in my relationships. But again, that's just me, and every person is different.
I don't mind if the girl has had an abortion before. I'd much rather hear that my gf of 3 months previously had an abortion than to suddenly find out she has a kid!!! The guy said he'll be there for her forever?!? Wow...I wouldn't believe that if my wife told me that! I think in these kind of situations, the girl has more responsibility than the guy. Ultimately, the girl has the final say in whether or not to have unprotected sex (the guys say is always yes =P). Also, the abortion is the sole decision of the girl. A guy can't force the girl to abort nor can he stop her. I don't think the guy should have to suffer as long as the girl suffers. A guy should stay until the girl gets the abortion and becomes healthy again. After that, the guy doesn't need to bear any more responsibility. Abortions are indeed quite common and relatively safe. She should definitely tell her next bf of the abortion. I predict that the bf would be glad she's honest with him. If he dumps her because of it, he's useless anyway.
