This is my first time in this part of the forum and i read some of the thread. You guys have really interesting opinions. I would like to get ur opinions on the currect topic. For some reason i'm always nervous when i'm talking to a girl. I don't know what to say to them because i'm very shy around girls. Maby it's because i have been in a all boy school when i was small and didn't know how to react around girls. But now i'm going to a public school....
Umm well the only way you can cure it is to talk to more girls and slowly build up your confidence. I dont think there are any quick fixes! Best thing is to make good friends with girls and youll eventually get use to it and it wont be a problem!
but whenever i'm talking to a girl i feel like i'm going to do something or say stupid and give off a bad impression so i try to avoid conversation as much as possible
tell urself if no big deal if u say something stupid... if u say something stupid in front of a guy she's not gonna tie u up n start whipping u... just laugh it of urself... they girl might think ur fun to b with
but i'm really shy in general. i'm the type of guy who just sits it class and listens even when i have a question i don't ask the teacher i just try and figure it out or ask my friends. How can i talk to more girls and be more confident when i don't even approach them. >.<
like i said... just think to urself there's nothing to b scared of... what can they do to u?? they r just weak girls... if they r mean to u all u gotta do is jump on them n u can squeeze them flat... just talk abt anything with girls really... u can start watching more comedies or reading joke books so when u run out of things u say u can always tell a joke or say something funny... girls like funny guys
>.< dunno how i double post...only clicked once..sorri For some reason...when i'm with my friends i joke around a lot but whenever i'm talking to a girl i turn all serious and mature even when i'm talking to my friend's gf
^ lol, i think that'd be a bit hard. i get somewhat nervous when i talk to guys, in fear of saying something stupid, like you... but i've had enough experiences embarrassing myself that i've learned to laugh it off. just take a deep breath, go up to some girl, and strike up a conversation. who cares if you mess up. it won't be the end of the world. think of it as a learning experience.
You are self-doubting, you're oozing it even through your posts. It's self confidence for sure, but I know just jumping from being shy to outgoing in an instant is nearly impossible. So maybe you can think of what I say as a half step... If you saw a pretty girl not being careful and is about to be hit by a car, would you be too shy to shout at her or maybe even pull her out to safety? No, because you're intentions were good, and you know she'll perceive your intentions as being good and won't reject it. However, for some reason, you tighten up at the fear of being rejected if you were to just approach and say hi to a girl. What if I say something stupid and embarass myself? etc... In these situations, you are lacking the good intentions that you had. So give yourself good motivation that girls won't object to such as "I like to make girls smile". With that locked in your head, approach the girl and say whatever you can to make her smile from a joke, to a funny story, etc. When you do this, you're motivation is no longer "trying to get with the girl", you'll just seem like a normal yet fun guy, people will notice this. If you think about it, that's why you're cool with your guy friends as well, you're not secretly thinking of how to hit on them. Women can sense if you're trying to pick up on them a mile away, so the best way is of course... Not to Once you get some female friends and talk to them on a regular basis, you'll be more relaxed and not think of women as the opposite sex, but just like any person that you can be friends with. Once you realize this, you can start talking to just about anyone.
If you say something dumb and she laughs...you are set! Humour is the number one quality that girls look for in a guy! If she doesn't laugh, just say "I'm sorry, you're making me so nervous, I don't even know what I'm saying" (look sad, turn around and walk away) Next time you see her, she'll probably ask you out. So don't worry about saying something dumb, it's a win-win situation =P
it's just that i never win at anything. my dad is like y can't u be more like ur brother....etc.... caz my brother always did things better then me so i think this is the reason why i don't have confidence in myself. It's just so stressful when you are talking to a girl when you don't have confidence in yourself if you know what i mean. quote: you are self-doubting, you're oozing it even in your post. really? u can tell from reading my post??? btw thx for the opinions guys
Basically, what "Avant" said. It's the rare person who is NOT shy around other people, particularly those of the opposite sex. Relax - it's almost always the same, for all of us. It doesn't matter whether you're 15, 25, 35 or even 85 for that matter, it happens to us all. The only difference between someone 15 and someone 35 is that the 35 yo realizes when he is being nervous, that it is normal, and they don't let the nervousness get in the way of going after what they want. Other than doing exotic things like being part of a debate club, or doing public speaking, the only thing I could think of to overcome shyness and to be a good conversationalist would be to remember that we're all basically in the same boat, and that we're all human. If there's a particular girl you are interested in, you might just try observing (by saying this I don't imply that you stalk her!) her, and paying attention. See if she exhibits anything that she's interested in. If you have mutual friends, you might want to ask them for any insight they could provide. When having the conversation with the girl, just be polite, speak clearly, and most of all pay ATTENTION to her, what she says. Look her squarely in the eye when talking. Just take a deep breath and give it a try, rather than spending the next 50 years regreting never having said anything. One other suggestion is that you try to force yourself into doing fun things. Walk up a girl you like and give her a few compliments. Talk to some people and just smile a lot. That will help build your confidence in socializing. Also, don't be afraid of rejection. There's always people that really don't like you or can't work with you. So surround yourself with friends that respect you for who you are. Lastly, remember that every person, no matter the gender, is probably as nervous as you, so just treat everyone as a friend and go on from there. Good luck.
"it's just that i never win at anything."... and you wonder why I can tell you're self-doubting... At this point, I'll have to agree, your brother probably does do things better. Know why? Because all I hear from you is whining how things CAN'T be done. Everytime you do this, you just dig a deeper hole for yourself. You've already admitted defeat when you agreed that your brother does everything better than you, you're not even fighting the battle! On top of that, you're using that as an EXCUSE for your lack of confidence... well sorry bud, but that's just unacceptable if you want to come out ahead in life. Do you find self-doubting shy guys that are successful with women? Answer is No. Do you find self-doubting shy guys that are successful with business? Answer is No. So why don't you step up to the plate and do something about yourself instead of relying on others to support you. You should be the strongest pillar for yourself. If you don't try to push yourself to do anything, you'll never be special. And before you brush everything I say off thinking that I don't understand, know that I was one of the most shy kids around (not knowing a lick of english when I moved to the US made the situation even tougher). I was shy to everyone, not just girls. However, I knew that's not the person that I wanted to be so I aimed to changed. I was my own motivation for changing and persistently stuck to my belief that I wanted to change. That's how I got to where I am today. P.S. There's nothing stressful about approaching and talking to a girl. The only stresses you feel are the stresses you place on yourself. You can really talk about anything when you first meet a girl, I've started conversations talking about toothpaste before.
