How did your family and friends take it?! I've recently started dating a girl that is from China...She's been in the UK for 7 years and is doing a Masters Degree! everything was great, but some of my family and friends have a big problem with her, in that they believe she's only with me cause shes after a Visa, etc...
^ lmfao.... your family could be wrong you know... they are just paranoid or they could also be right..... the way she treats you should give it away...
I have a Malaysian Chinese girlfriend which is probably the same as a girl from China and shes also over here to study but my family and her family has no problem at all. In the end its your girlfriend, not your family or friends girlfriend, if they have a problem, its them not you whats important is whether you're happy with her and that shes happy with you. besides the time you spend with her gives it away on what shes like. Has your family/friends met her at all? or just an immediate assumption that shes after a visa?
People in my fam...make such a hugeeeeee fuss about this too... We're always told to stay away from people from china coz they prolly just using us (bbc's) to stay in uk blah blah blah....my rents have heard of quite a few true stories where it has happened to be honest.... Like one our my fam friends got married to a gurl from china she had 2 kids with him as well...and 6 years later...she got with a china guy from same place as she was...and when he found out and told her to leave him and he'll forget whut happened...she told him she wanted a divorce coz she said the cultural differences were too hard for her...so he lubbed her so muchy..he said okies.. And then she wanted half of everything he had...as well...in the end the guy was left with nearlly nuttin and 2 kids... But that story....prolly has a lot of middle stuff cut out of it..so something may have happened in the middle as well.. But that aside...i think the decision is up to you if you wanna be with her...
Thanks for the comments guys... I believe I am in love with this girl and truly believe she is with me for all the right reasons! Both my mum and dad think the girl is really nice and like her too so that is all good but its the older genteration (grandparents and their friends)... Lets hope all works out!!!
Don't know what some chinese ppl want...no foreign ppl nor chinese ppl ^^ I think you should give her a chance...maybe it's a mistake but maybe it turns out to be your big love...who knows. You have to make this experience and find out....
Not sure about the citizenship thing...I dont really understand the in's and out's! End of the day I just think the older generation on chinese in the UK for sure need to realise not all people from china are after citizenship!
well i'm still biased... generally they're after more than wat it seems... =/ but thats more so with the ones that are IN country as opposed to ones who've left and are more "westernised" ie civilised lol those who've left the country for long enough "generally" are smarter and know what they want i guess... doesn't cover all... her not having citizenship/pr is always an issue... but end of day, if its right, then keep at it =)
My assessment; if all the girl wanted was a visa and not a relationship, as soon as she got in country, she would have hooked up with someone and have dumped him in less than 3 months to a year unless she got a firm commitment. But, she's already there for seven years for a masters degree (read this as I don't need any man to support me). Frankly, with the value of her overseas masters degree and her ability to speak and communicate in English, she would be almost guaranteed an extremely high paying job on her return to China. So in effect, staying in Britain may be her worst financial option. Most of the older Chinese overseas generation that went abroad a half century ago can only emotionally recall China as some dirt road backwater and not realize that it is now on the forefront of the world market. Bottom line? I hate to be blunt, but she sure as hell doesn't need you. Hence she must be staying with you because she really cares for you. Tell the folks and relations to mind their own damned business. I too, had married a girl born in Shanghai. You should have heard my parents when I announced my marriage plans. It was like WW3.
Now wait a minute here; China's a pretty damned big place with a hell of a lot of people for such a general statement. Let's flip that around for a minute, and assume that you had the choice to marry someone from the US. Would you? On the basis of the above, you can either marry a multimillionaire living in Venice beach or a drug addict living in a trailer park in Tennessee. Seriously, before anyone can judge someone from China, a better assessment of who they are and what they do, needs to be done. Not all of them are looking for a green card marriage or to come over and be some slob American's sex slave.
POINT TAKEN! and I'm definatley set on going the distance with this girl! I was really looking to get views on if anyone elses family are the same in thinking girls from China are Money grabbers!!!
HAHAHA! She'd be over the moon, Simply cause she missus her mum... She has no family or anything here and if it wasnt for me she'd be on a plan tomorrow!! The point is I believe her, just the older generation seems to think differently and its putting pressure on me and upsetting her!!!
Well, there ain't no guarantee that her family won't be money grabbers once she sinks her hooks into you, LOL...
