Welllll this is a long arse story. Get yourself prepared. Just an important note, I'm over him. It's just what he did to me, I can't help but think that all guys will be like this. In other words, I'm paranoid. -------------- EDIT: The names used in the passage are not the actual names! Everything started off last summer. Me still being the usual outgoing talkative person, him, he was known as a player/rude/disrespectful a.ss. Don't get me wrong, I'm not telling you a cliche story where I'm the nerd, and he's the popular jock. Infact, our popularity level was the same. We've never crossed paths before, I've only known him as Jin, Mike's friend. Mike was a family friend, and he was currently dating my good friend. And so, whenever I saw Jin, which was quite often, I would ignore him. To me, he was a waste of my time. He never looked that friendly to start off with. My good friend Melody who was dating Mike, often told me that Jin was mean, and very very rude towards girls. He wasn't gay or anything, but if they weren't up to his expectations, they were soon labelled as a "sl.ut" and such. Anyways, during the summer, me, Melody and Mike would hang out often. Therefore Mike officially introduced me to Jin and this other guy named Eddie. Soon we began to hang out often, but I never hung out with Jin. At that time I was still crushing on my friend, whom I've been crushing on for around 2 years. One day when we were all hanging out, Jin kept looking at me. I felt awkward and I asked him if he was looking at my other friend who was standing next to me. He just smiled and said no. I ignored him throughout the day not bothering to say anything else. By the end of the day, Melody, Mike and Eddie were all bugging me about Jin. They told me stuff that I would've never imagined, or even think of. Melody would say that Jin thinks I'm cute. Mike would add in that he thinks I have nice skin. Then Eddie would join in and say that Jin wants to know me better. At that moment, I was literally freaked out. I wasn't one bit, happy or giggly because somebody liked me. I found this all to be a sick joke. I never took it seriously and let it slide. About two weeks later we decided to go out and eat. It was Melody, Mike, Jin and me. I found it really awkward and weird. And that night, Jin admitted to liking me. I just said okay. I never really considered him as a potential Bf, because he was infact a player. I asked him about it, and he didn't deny it, since he knew I wasn't get these facts out of the blue. He would then say that he's not good enough for me, that I'm too good for him, he doesn't deserve me, blah blah blah. That kinda talk, well it annoyed the heck out of me. And I kept trying to tell him that no one's too good for anyone. Then a couple of weeks later I got to know Jin better, he was nice and all. Very polite, yet still no sparks. During the time of one month, we spent everyday together, at least 5 hours a day. Not just me and Jin, along with the other three. And on one certain day, we went to the park to celebrate someone's bday, whom I've never even aqquainted with. Instead of hanging out with his friends, Jin hung out with me and left his friends. He cared about every little detail for me. Such as, if I'm hungry or not, thirsty, tired, bored. Jin knew that I hated smoke, and smoking, so he would stand in the way and fan the smoke away when it was near me. Even though earlier that day we got into a mini-fight he still treated me nicely. It was like the spur of the moment, or I really kinda did fall for him. While we were walking, I took his hand. I didn't let him look back, I told him that I think I'm starting to like him. After I told Jin about me starting to like him, he looked at me and grinned. I was a bit scared by this time. I didn't know what to expect from a person like him. But the fact that he's been so sweet to me for the past month, it's hard to resist him. Come on girls, you know you would fall for it too. I knew, and I was sure that I was only STARTING to like him. But later that day I had to go home early and I couldn't stay. So I called my crush, whom I've mentioned to be my friend. But what I didn't say was that, he's my good friend of 4 years to come pick me up. I was his best girl-friend, and vice versa. Jin was going to sit and wait with me till my crush Tyson came. Except, Jin didn't know that it was Tyson who was picking me up. After he found out he was a bit pissed, yet he hide it. [I didn't find out that he hated A LOT of things I did when we had our "fling" I refuse to call him my boyfriend] I know for a fact that Jin felt insecure when Tyson was around. Tyson was every girl's dream guy. There's always a lot of girls after him. He's rich, sweet, caring, and friendly [only to those that know him]. The only reason why I didn't ask Jin to drive me home was because Jin didn't have a car yet. And his friends, well I wouldn't dare asking them to give me a ride. After that day, Jin kept asking and re-asking me whether or not I like him. I strictly told him that I was starting to, but the fact that he keeps talking about it annoyed me. And so, the feelings I had with Tyson was starting to grow again when I saw him. [The story about Tyson, it's to long to even mention in here. A lot of things happened to us, we were once best friends, now we don't even talk anymore. But if you're interested, you can tell me, I'll post it in here another time or in another thread.] Jin knew the competition he was up against. For my birthday, at this time me and Jin weren't that close yet, but Tyson bought me a phone [well worthy over $500]. He wanted to treat his good friends, with everything that he has. It was too great of a gift for me, so I didn't take it. When Jin knew about this, he wasn't too happy. But hey, all of this happened before he came into the picture so w.e. Jin was "mad" that I was being a "player" [I'm sorry but I found this to be so pathetic] So he stopped calling me. He msged me and told me how I shouldn't have done that, [in which I knew] he knows that I like Tyson more than him, and I'd choose Tyson over him anyday, but he still likes me, and he still wants to give us a chance. And he'll wait, as long as something happens. My guy friends, seeing this, they started choosing sides. Even though they were all good friends with Tyson, they decided to side with Jin, telling me how good of a guy Jin was. I told Tyson about Jin. [I never mentioned that Tyson has a gf, please don't assume I'm a home wrecker, I've liked him before they dated, and I did nothing to ruin their relationship, but she never understood that.] Tyson urged me to go for Jin, I did mention and say that Jin's a player, he's had 8 gf's before me. We didn't even bother to count his multiple flings. Tyson believed that if Jin liked me enough, he would change. Jin was a hardcore smoker, but because I hate smokers, he tried to quit. It worked for the time being when we were together. After everything was solved, me and Jin started seeing each other. It wasn't official, I asked him what he would say if I asked him out, he just said that he'll say yes. And we started from there. This is how stupid this whole "Jin" thing is, we've only seen each other for a week and "broke up". If we were to take out the days I was vacationing for, we've only seen each other for 3 days. Before I went on my vacation, I knew that when I hugged Jin last, it was our last time together ever. It was a strong gut feeling. When I came back, summer school started. Tyson had summer school with me too. And so did Jin's ex girlfriend. The one he did everything with, everything. Jin insisted that he wants to pick me up from school, I knew something was up. I denied, but he got all stupid about it, saying that I just didn't want him to see me and Tyson. I got mad and told him to come then. So he came after school. And my suspicions were correct. When we were waiting for the bus, he kept looking back at his ex gf. She was sitting at a nearby bench behind us. [Before all of this, there was a case where she slit her wrist because she wanted him back. Her friends yelled at him. He called her. He told me about this, I asked if he still likes her, he said no. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and trusted him. I didn't know why I wasn't jealous] At this point, I was starting to like him more and more. But Jin didn't seem to care about me at all. Tyson drove by, so I asked him if he could give us a lift [i was also trying to test if Jin would get jealous], Jin got b.tchy and said that I could go and he'll stay. I said that if he'll stay then I'll stay. Then bus ended up coming, but before we got onto it, I noticed that Jin kept looking at his ex. At this point I was mad. I knew something was up, Jin doesn't seem to even notice that I know. At the subway station, I asked Jin. I was calm, and I asked him sincerely, expecting a sincere response in return. This was our convo that day: "Do you still like her? [his ex]"-me "No..Why would you ask that?"-Jin "I noticed that you kept looking at your ex back at school."-me "What? What are you talking about?"-Jin "You know what I'm talking about. Do you still like her or not?" "I don't know" "Okay, I'll talk to you later about this." Our friends were around, I didn't want to make a scene. My friends thought that we were "shy" that's why we weren't sitting next to each other on the subway. They didn't have a clue of what was going on. Later when we stopped at another station, I brought the topic back up. "Can you tell me whether or not you like her now?"-me "I said I don't know"-Jin "Do you like her more than me?"-me "No!"-Jin "Then why are you hesitating to tell me?"-me "I--I dont--" "Just tell me damnit!" At this point, I was pissed. I hate people who aren't straight forward. "Kinda.." "Then it's over." Within minutes, he told Mike and Eddie what happened. And so I told my friends, I tried hard not to cry. He just had to make this hard for me didn't he? Eddie later tried comforting me, Jin was still with us. We were heading off to go eat. Eddie told me that, Jin said he broke up with me. I swear to God, if I could, I would've punched the f.ck out of Jin if I could. I just yelled, and I made sure that Jin heard. "What the f.ck is wrong with people these days? Can they not hear well? Do they tend to misinterpret things? How did, I dump you, turn into you dump me?" I really didn't know what I was saying. I just knew that I was mad. Eddie kept comforting me, we were walking around while everyone else was at the restaurant eating. Jin wasn't there, he knew I was too mad to look at him. So he ate else where. Later when he called Eddie, Eddie ignored his calls. At that point, I literally broke down. *Side note, I never dated anyone before Jin. I thought dating was useless unless it wasn't going to last long. So I never gave anyone a chance. I gave Jin a chance, but he had to hurt me like that. He promised a thousand times that he wouldn't. I know, I'm stupid to fall for it. Eddie told me, that Jin got wasted over the weekend when I was gone and he started thinking of his ex again. When Eddie hugged me, I was mad, I kept ranting to Eddie. I said stuff along the lines of "Why the hell did he do this to me, what the f.ck is wrong with him, why is he sucha f.cken hyprocrite?" [this is cliche like in the movies] Jin was calling Eddie and he heard Eddie's phone go off, and he stood there, he saw Eddie hugging me. He tried talking to Eddie but Eddie told him to f.ck off. [everyone at this point believed that Eddie liked me, Eddie and Jin were like best friends] Starting from then I never talked to Jin again. Then one day he randomly msged me and told me he doesn't talk to me no more because he knows that I hate him. Two weeks after we're apart, he got back with his ex. I thought we could maybe still maintain a friendship because of that msg. But I hoped for too much. Jin just somehow wanted to keep me hanging or something, because he called me later on and told me he won me a big duck that "I wanted". [there was a carnival going on] Ended up, Jin mistakened what I wanted, with what my friend wanted. He ended up winning me something I didn't want. But that day I was at home, so I didn't get it. And I never did get that duck he got me. I assume that he gave it to his gf. When I saw him again, he started smoking again. People think he did it on purpose to piss me off. But I really didn't give a sh.it. What really pissed me off that day was that Eddie kept touching me. Acting as if we're dating. I told him to stop it, rudely too. But he thought it was a joke. Later on, Mike told me, that Jin thought me and Eddie were dating. But I surely cleared things up. It's been 5 months, we've never talked or seen each other. All I know was that he moved a bit further then where he use to live. Then one day, Eddie called me, asking if him and Mike could come over, along with Jin. I said no, but I said I'd meet them at a nearby park. Reason why they wanted me out? They bought some fireworks and the lit it at the park. It was totally whack. In the end we all ran for it towards our own car. By this time, Jin and me both have our own cars. I drove to a nearby 7-11. And they followed. While we're at 7-11, when I was picking out my chocolates and talking to Eddie, Jin kept staring at me. Like buddy, if you want to make it not so obvious, DON'T STARE FOR 5 MINUTES STRAIGHT! I didn't bother glancing at him once. So we went our seperate ways. About 3 weeks later, Mike called me with some weird number, but my phone was out in my car. When I called up, who else but the infamous Jin picked up. Ended up this was his new number. At first I didn't know him. This was how things went... "Hey, did you call this number?"-me "Who's this?"-Jin "_____" "Oh, I think Mike did" Then he gave the phone to mike. While he was passing the phone to Mike, I heard him say "You told her my number? Why did you give her my number?" I was soooo mad, like have the f.cken decency to say it AFTER YOU HANG UP b.tch. Does he still think I'm some crazy fangirl that's still in love with him after MONTHS? Geeze, he's honestly gotta give himself another look in the mirror. If he was someone like Tyson, for sure I'd still like and miss him. Except, he can't even compare. It pisses me off soo much that he thinks so highly of himself. After me and Jin were over, I told Tyson about what happened. Tyson's only resort to things were violence. But there was no point in hurting Jin. It's not gunna gain me anything. And some of the things I found out Jin didn't like when we were "together" was that I talked on the phone with my guy friends. I look at guys that are better looking than him when I was with him. I told him straight up when I met him, was that I like cute fobbish guys, and I, indeed like checking them out and he's gotta live with it. It's not like he doesn't check other girls out. And Jin always thought I was the "player" type. Oh come on, I've only seen him, no one else. Because I check out other guys, he calls me a player. If I've done half of the things he did, then I guess I would be called a wh0re/sl.ut/cheap/easy person. Sorry about my long long long rant. I guess it's not really a question I want advice from, but here's a question anyways. Are most guys like him? In my area, if they're not like him, then they're taken. One more question is that, did I have any wrong in this situation?
oh wow this is gonna be harder than taking all those crazy tests... ohhh texts.... umm I'm sure "shy" or "AVANT" would be able to help with somethin' err... yea... but speakin' for some of the guys... we're not all Jerks... But hey quite a few girls say they prefer the "bad boy" so this is what just ends up happening... umm ...yea.. Have some Haagen-Dazs Mango Sorbet and forget about the whole thing... -bigsmile
Have you ever heard... 'Do unto others as you would have them do to you"? You wrote one extremely long post, but from what I can gather, you didn't like Jin because he was notorious for being a player, but then you fell for him because he was really sweet to you. However, all the while, you had a crush on somebody else (Tyson). To me, you never gave Jin a chance. You always looked down on him just because he had the reputation of being a player. You made a big deal out of Jin looking at his ex when you were hanging out with Tyson, your crush. I don't know Jin, but I feel for him. It seemed that he was more dedicated to you than you were to him. It's almost as if you were just looking for ways for the relationship to fail. I'm sorry; if you want somebody to respect you, you should give that person some respect as well. You were bothered by the fact that Jin checks out other girls while he's with you... well, you checked out other guys when you were with him... so what's up with the double standard?? If you feel that you have every right to do so, then Jin has every right to do so as well. And to answer the topic question... no, not all guys are jerks. And guys are not dogs either... they're not to answer to your every beck and call. Relationships are about working with each other, not about who has more control over the other. If that's something that one cannot comprehend, then every guy who does not obey your every word will be a jerk in your eyes.
woo way to summarize it girl... glad you saved Knoc and I the trouble of reading it -lol Yea we're not jerks... just a bit lazy -lol. hmm ever thought about publishing a book?/
OMG. You are one lucky girl. Maybe you pray a lot... -shrug ... because I have no idea why I read through that whole thing. This was longer and more complicated than shy's MNOPQRSTUV post -shock The answer to your questions is subjective But here's mine: No, not all guys are that stupid, disrespectful to his peers and himself, self-conscious, and lack self-esteem. Best of all, he's OOZING wuss. So you picked yourself a pure breed winner with this Jin guy! -lol There'll be lots of people that you'll meet later that will suit you much better. Now that you have gotten rid of this stupid first attempt at a relationship, you'll only know better for round 2. Not all awesome guys are taken (such as yours truly here -innocent, but I'm picky -tongue2 ) -------------------- My side (slightly more serious) note: Both Jin and you sound very immature and young. You both create unnecessary drama and feel self-righteous in your own causes. Sadly, this isn't how relationships work unless it's a TVB series or Soap Opera. It is best to take this whole relationship very lightly and think of it as nothing more than a stupid fling that didn't last. Reason is because dwelling into it too much will just cause unnecessary drama and negative thoughts that will carry over to your next relationship (fearing your future bf won't stay loyal to you, etc). Just vent it out and try not to use it as fuel to stir up anything else. Be the bigger person and just ignore whatever he says and whatever rumors you hear. If people see you reacting to his comments, then you're only falling for his plan and make his side more believable anyways
I strongly agree with Shy, not saying your wrong though. You look at your crush, he looks at his ex. Reputation isn't anything big. Just cause he has 8 girlfriends does not make him a player, he could've fell for players. He tried to impress you for a month, it ain't a fling, he loved you. Most relationships only last around a month if your ain't serious. And about the "Why did you give her my number?" thing, I don't think he meant it the way you think. After something bad happens, they want to move on (you dumped him and yelled it out), which also explains him dating his ex. Guys got feelings too, they usually have a girl they're really close to that they turn to (girls are more sensative than guys -_-;;; and friendliness builds for guys. He can tell you hated him so he avoided you and getting a new phone number...moving house if he lives by himself? Ps: Guys are jerks...but not as bad as you think we are.
lol how did I know that either shy or avant was gonna read thru the whole thing... It's time to open a PA Love Connection Thread -lol....
wow.......i just can't believe i was able to read the whole story straight thru. from your story, the biggest problem in the relationship was jin couldn't figure out who he liked and you kept comparing him to your crush. since this is your 1st relationship, just think of it as a experience, but don't let this one relationship ruin your future relationship, which would hopefully be better.
Because you know I like to mess with people's heads and give them wrong information -devil *Devilish laugh* Muhahahahahahahaha
Not all guys are Jerk...YOu pick a jerk..Don't hate all other guys just because what he did you. It's just a lessen in life that everyone go through. Without it we wouldn't find the right special someone in our life.
ofcourse all guys arn't jerks.. may-b god wanted us to meet some bad people...so when we found these good people..we will cherrish them...and hold on to them..
i cant believe i read the whole thing. but if a guy is willing to go that far i dont hink you can label him a jerk. and no, not all guys are jerk. At least i am not one. how i know? my gf tells me so. (she does call me a bas**** some times.
i read the 2nd half so it made me feel a lot better when i read that ppl read the whole thing... and no not all guys r jerks... one guy doesn't represent us all... plus i dunno he doesn't sound that bad but then again i didn't read the whole thing lazy.
summary of the story _________________________________ babii_tenshi dates a boy that is known as a player/bitch/rude person called jin(not real name). jin is known for that and even tenshi knows it. they got togheter cause jin was being "nice" to tenshi for months. they broke up and got back with eachother again after few weeks cause jin was being "nice" again. went they went back togheter jin saw hes ex sitting at bus stop and was checking her out. tenshi ask jin if he still likes her.. and after some conversation he said, kinda. then tenshi said its overrrr! day after tenshi heared of a friend that jin told everyone that jin dumped tenshi instead.. and BAM suddenly every guy is a jerk __________________________________ well srry but not all guys are jerks there even are girls that fool around with boys.. and you dont call all woman for players either
She ain;t bad lookin, look 4 better guy. There are always better guys it just that u ain;t meetin them. I think she still likes him cuz she thinking of him (posting n all) The guy wanted face so he said he dumped her. Does he still like her? Dunno, but I think he blew his chances. -shock "Get over it, meng" - Jin
well imo its kinda your own fault tenshi... its just like if someone tell you there's a mine field up ahead and you just happy say... "yes, but maybe im lucky enough that i won't step on one! " why do you think players will "play" so much girls? cause they are being nice! there are people on this bloody planet that can act like a king... so if someone is known as a player just be friends... dont test your luck "and maybe your his first real lover"
I've got a headache, Sorry to say but the both of you handled everything wrong! The reponses, the reactions etc and the other people around are also lost and not helpful. you'll have to work it out yourselves, what went wrong and make sure it doesn't happen again. Too much games and not enough sincerity.
