Ok, so this is a conversation I recently had with this one girl in school and it went something like this: me-so, how did u do in psych class? her-good me-yea me too, lot of reading...i hated it, but it was interesting her-yea i hate reading too me-so what courses u taking this semester her-ah business, physics ,bio, law me-OB, business planning, accounting, me-ah i hate physics can't calculate numbers, why u takin it her-ah i hate physics too, i take it b/c no other electives. Something along the lines of that...pretty much basic cuz it was school related. Now I'm working at some tech place n yea, all guys no gurls so far...well it has only been my first 2 days so who knows, but I doubt I'll be seeing any girls. <_< I was thinkin of picking up and getting girls numbers on the bus or something-any advice or tips? Since I have no other way of meeting girls now...lmao Another convo I had: me:hi jen what did u do on the weekend her:watch a movie me-which one? her-skelton key me-who did u go with? her-friends me-oh, friends or bf? hahaha her-friends *smiles me:movies are expenisve...not worth it her-its reasonable What do you guys think? It might also be a social issue...since it is a rather small college, everyone tends to have their own soical group of friends they hang out with. I only hang out with a small group of people, so I don't have many opportunities to meet new peeps. If I date a girl I'm afraid that her friends might think I'm unworthy or something... Oh yeah, and on top of it, the girl I like...and most other asian girls from the ones I know of are super quiet, u always have to be the topic creater and make new topics. Sometimes I really wonder if I am annoying them or are they just shy and naturally quiet? Its not me thats quiet it's usually them. I'm not shy or anything, but if the other party if quiet, well it's sooo hard to talk to them, they'll only talk back if u are the one who starts the topic! What's the deal with that? Any advice will be good. Thnx..-cool
If you ask me, your conversations seem quite dull. Most girls will be attracted to guys who can make them laugh. If you notice that the girl is giving you one-worded responses, most likely, she is not interested in you (like the movie theater girl). You could've asked her what she thought of it, why she went to watch it, or brought up some other horror movies to talk about. For you to say that movies are too expensive or whatever just makes a girl think you're cheap! For you to say that you hate a class that a girl is taking, it's like you're insulting her in a roundabout way... I understand that making friends is hard, but you have to take the initiative, especially if you're the one who doesn't know anybody. Those who already have friends will not approach you, so it's up to you to do something. After that, if you get into a social circle, then you can hang out w/the girls from that circle. This way, you expand your network. Since you mentioned that you aren't a 'shy' guy, I don't see how it could be a problem for you. Definitely don't try to pick up a girl at the bus stop or while you're waiting for the bus. I hate it when people talk to me when I'm waiting for the subway. The subway is my source of quiet time. I don't need some guy to be badgering me. A typical conversation with a guy I'm NOT interested in would go somewhat like this: him: hey me: hey, how's it going? him: good, u? me: good, thanks. him: what did you do over the weekend? me: not much. u? him: blah blah blah me: *just smiles* glad to hear that you had fun... A typical conversation with a guy I AM interested in would go: him: hey me: hey, how's it going? him: good, u? me: good...what did you do over the weekend/yesterday? him: blah blah blah blah blah, u? me: blah blah blah, blah blah blah. The 'blah blah blah' means that I have so much more to say, and that I'm more willing to share things about my life to him than I would with somebody I'm not so interested in. Hope that helps
Oh Gawd, make the pain stop... you fell right into the typical guy attempting to keep a conversation going just to keep it going routine. The one word answers was a dead give away of "get away from me, but you're a nice guy, so I can't tell that to you to your face". Stop prying into her business, you're acting OVERLY interested. The shy girls are only quiet to you because they don't want to open up to you. If you made them comfortable and at ease, they'll yap all day. A cool calm guy also knows when a good silence is appropriate. It only feels awkward because you think it's awkward. Lastly, NEVER think of yourself as UNWORTHY because it's simply not true. Ask yourself if you honestly think you're a good guy? If so, then what's so unworthy about you? Anyways... if you want to get a convo going, get them to talk about something different. Atleast something they are emotion about (good or bad way). Even better if they are passionate about the topic.
Oh, and if you're trying to ask her out. Don't make it sound like a date with a fancy dinner or something. Just go do something fun and ask her as if she was just a long time friend that you want to hang out with, but avoid group dates at all cost if you're trying to actually hook up with the girl.
Exactly. Why do you look down on yourself when others don't even do that? The most important thing is for you to have confidence in yourself. In the event that you do get into a serious relationship with a girl, it still shouldn't matter how popular you are or what her friends think of you. Relationships are between two people, not two 2 groups of friends. Only the people in the relationship know how it's going... everybody else is just looking in from the outside. & if her friends deems that you're not good enough, then they're the ones who are unworthy...because if their friend is happy with you, who are they to disapprove? As friends, they should be supportive of who she's going out with. If they prevent her from going out w/you, then it just shows what kind of friends they are...
wow, you sound sooo noob! You say, omg...I think I'm going to fail physics =( The girl will then say: I'm failing too...(oh we should study together sometime) or physics is so easy...(oh you should teach me sometime)
1. If they're both failing, I don't think studying together would be such a good idea...lol 2. Well, since he said he isn't good with calculating numbers, he'd be busted if she really asked him to teach her. Then he'd only end up looking more like a loser.
throw a paper airplane at her with the msg "i luv u" written in the middle... make sure you decorate it with hearts, it shows sincerity ....hmmm i wonder how girls would really respond to that
Who said anything about studying? It's a date!!! lol. I remember playing the smart guy before too. But then the girl thinks you're a nerd and that is possibly worse than being a loser.
thanx for all the comments guys and girls. they really help! shy/avant, since you guys said my convos are 'quite dull' what topics do you guys think I should bring up and talk about? how do i get the shy girls to open up? lol as you can see, I'm still very inexperienced yeah, i guess it's true what you guys said about feeling 'unworthy'...if her friends are TRULY friends, then they should support whoever she goes out with. Although I'm not popular I think I'm nicer than most other guys out there. thanx for waking me up...I'll keep that in mind from now on. B) ps: i'm thinking of asking her out on a date...do you guys think now would be a good time?
Find a topic that you are both interested in and talk to her about that. You've got to talk to her first to find out what she's interested in. Don't think it's the right time for you to ask her out just yet. You don't even know if she likes you yet. Just take it slow & try to get to know her better first.
Well since you asked so nicely, I guess I'd have to respond As I told you before though, avoid everyday things. They don't spark interest ("how is your day going?", "how was class?" HOW LAME ARE THOSE?!?!?!). While talking about things that both of you are interested in is a great idea, it's hard to pick those things up when you're still getting to know the girl. For those type of topics, it's better to just run into them on accident. Avoid interview questions also. "How many siblings do you have?" "where's your family at?" etc... all lame-o-run-out-of-things-to-say type of material that should be avoided at all cost. Your goal is to be different and talk about things she wouldn't normally talk about. Attractive women are approached all the freaking time! It's your job to not be another sucker. Since you two are acquaintences now, you have a 1 up on majority of the guys that approach her. There are many guys that aren't good listeners, they like to give advice and correct other people's mistakes. Women have to live with our yapping all the time. So flip it up, ask women for advice and be a good listener (take it all in, give her acknowledgement signals, but let her do most of the talking, ask her questions on parts you don't quite get, etc). You can start with something small like "do you floss before you after your brush your teeth" (you'll get varied answers with different people. If she thinks the way you do, you found something in common! If she doesn't, then call her out and tease her about it (jokingly of course). You can start with something more serious like asking her for relationship advice on behalf of a troubled friend (use a real story plz, and avoid giving out the peoples names as it would just become gossip and not advice seeking). In all honesty though, the chances of you getting that girl aren't likely. Had a rough start, and impressions do matter. You're probably already locked into the "nice guy" thing and sounds like she has no interest in you at all :( You can build interest only she is somewhat interested to begin with. So no, don't ask her out yet because you WILL be rejected at this point. Girls want things to seem casual and "destined", not something forced onto them. If you find out that you two have a lot of things to talk about in the future, then ask her out for a cup of coffee (with the attitude of just friends hanging out). If that goes well, the next time you need a date to some type of event, ask her to go with you (with the attitude of just friends hanging out). If she starts to be interested in you, she'll let you know, I'm sure of it. Wow that's a lot of ramble and mumbo jumbo...
Haha. Only thing I'm pro at is sleeping. I don't know anything... I just rant like I do -whistle -sweat
You ARE a pro! (shy - you too ) stop trying to be modest..lol j/k. but thanks for the helpful tips guys! I'm trying to take mental notes on everything hahha. yeah, i figured i'd already given her a bad first impression, but we're in the same class so i think i still have some time to patch things up. but even if i don't, at least i learned my lesson one other question i wanted to ask the pros: how do you ask a girl for her age without making it sound awkward? i know girls generally don't like being asked about their age...
I'm very open about my age, and a lot of people tend to think that I'm older than I really am, because I have more experience than many people my age. Anyway, for girls, it's ok for you to ask, but always take down the age you think she is by 2-3 years. Then, the woman will feel comfortable, and at the same time you've complimented her. A lot of times, these things come into conversations quite casually.
You could just ask like shy said... and not make the conversation fun at all... or you can throw a twist into it Tell her that you are an awesome age guesser. If the woman's interested in you, she'll be curious and ask you to prove it (more or less), then you prove it by saying some rediculous number. Really depends on the age group that you are with tho, but if she's in her late teens or early 20s, say something stupid like 56. If she says no, then say 55. Trick is stare into her eyes and look like you're totally serious (because it sounds so crazy that it'd have to be a joke). More often than not, after your couple of purposeful misses, she'll laugh and just end up telling you her real age. If not, just shoot out a couple more crazy numbers till she does. Then laugh it off like you planned all that (coz you did), and if you are witty enough, throw another comment about her real age once she gives it to you. If after those several attempts, and you end up with no results. It means she's most likely insecure about her age and you need to just drop the subject. Then just keep saying she's 56 later on whenever you need to refer to her age. It's good fun for the both of you that doesn't harm anyone. If you two aren't having fun, you shouldn't be talking anyways P.S. Just re-read what I wrote from the earlier post... I think I was really out of it... typos galore! -sweat
get an account at birthday alarm and get her to fill it in for you -> just say you do this with all your friends, etc and would like it if her DOB is there as well
