My great aunt just passed away this morning. We weren't close but I can feel the pain of losing a love one. I can feel the pain of my great uncle being left alone now. They have been married for over 50 years and now, his wife has passed on. I can't imagine what's going on through his head at this very moment. No one's there to listen to you when you talk since all the kids are grown up and live on their own with their family, no one sleep next to you anymore, no one go with you to the store, watch television, or whatever. Honestly, I don't think much of this before but now that I am married, that kinda feeling comes naturally. I don't think I can handle being on my own. It's not about not being able to be independence or this or that. The emotional tie is something irreplaceable and we're only been married for about 2 years; with my great uncle, 50+ years .. that kind of tie will be hard to let go. I just hope he is ok. I am sure a lot of people on here are not marry but do you agree with me? I am an independent man but suddenly, I feel like I am depended on her emotionally and she on me too. It's different when you're dating. We care for one another but the feeling of dependency isn't as strong.
oh...sorry to hear....:( but yeah, i totally agree... i mean...even if id have to imagine losing a close family member i can already say its gonna be hard...n then try to imagine if its the one u share everything with i think losing ur husband/wife, the one u love most must be so hard... i dont think i could function the same... being together with someone for most of ur life n then having to do everything alone... tough... theres no way to stop the pain or loneliness but hopefully the kids can stop by more often n involve ur great uncle with more family activities n he can be a bit distracted
oh, sorry to hear ~ having been with someone for soo long and then suddenly lose that person is very hard to take. hope he can move on and get over it otherwise its going to be a painful road ~ visit him from time to time will help a little by little
feels the same. My grandparents (on my mother's side) both are in the 80's so I can't push away stuff like close family members passing away.
sorry to hear such bad news -flow i had this feeling last year too when my gran died.....my baba's mammi....and yeshh i could feel the pain too...but not half as muchy as my baba...coz he was sooo upset he didnt speak for a few days and that was ubbbber scary....but like everyone says time does help and never ever forget that nobody can EVER take away your memories you have...!...and if your great uncle is close by mebe ya could visit him a few times....till he's back on his feet..?..
This teaches us to cherish the people in our life. It is sad to have someone close to us leave physically but they will always linger with us emotionally and psychologically. Hope your great uncle will find comfort in her memories.
:( sucks.. If i lost neone in my family I don't think I'd recover.. even friends I don't think life would ever be the same. Not much you can do whats done is done, mayb try spending more time with him so he doesnt feel as lonely.
spend some time with him. give a phone call once a week or so. get to know him a little better maybe. but it is quite life altering. yeah a lot of people here are probably not married, and i'm sure anybody who watched The Notebook (it just came up in my head) thoroughly could relish a bit in the protagonists pain at the end of the movie. sigh :(
you feel lonely because you look outwardly for confirmation of existence or whatever it may be pick up some books about self improvement by joe vitale or eckhart tolle and learn about how all you need is yourself and you will begin to start a new life
i know exactly how it feels... two years ago when my mum passed away, it totally messed up the family... but worst watching my dad go through it... cause that's their soul mate, someone they pictured growing old and grey with and everything... it is hard on them, most you can do is be supportive, but you also got to understand that you need to help them get their life back on track, and not to become emotionally dependant on people trying to help...because sometimes that stops them from facing the world. just help as much as you can...but this is a internal batlle they must face on their own and only they can over come this obsticle and decide when its time to stand up. I'm sorry to hear this...may your great aunt rest in peace... x
Thanks ya'll .. I don't know what to say to my great Uncle .. When I called, he sounded totally normal and even asked me how my wife and I are doing and stuffs. I am not sure whether that's a sign to be afraid of or perhaps they have been married for so long and they're so old that he expect this to come sooner or later. I dunno. I heard from cousin that apparently, my great aunt has angioplasty but because of the shortage of blood supply to the brain, it shrunk (nerve cells died) so she was half wake/asleep. After a week on life support, the family decided to pull the plug. She was 92. I can understand the family doesn't want her to suffer more pain by being on life support at her age but personally, I wouldn't have sought that option unless it's the very last resort. Medical advances change all the time .. a week is just too soon to make such an important decision .. at least that how I feel.
im sure he should be doing fine after awhile.... 50 years is a long time to be married... and i can't even imagine how painful it may be.... but the whole life support option.... its really difficult to decide when you mix emotions into the decision.... but hearing what happen with her brain... even if she were to recover, i doubt she would have full functionality of her brain... medical advances are quick.. but not that quick... since most procedures have to be approved by the boad..
Well, being at that age, elder people are somewhat prepared for such things. That might explain why your great uncle reacts so calm. I knew an elder befriended couple, the wife died a year later at the age of 93. You sometimes hear reports of elder couples die not so far apart of each other. So take care of your great uncle!
There's only so much I can do ... he has children himself of his own who will take care of him. But I gotta admit, every time there's a death in the family, a lot of old feelings start flashing back .. kinda remind me how much time has passed by ... a lot of self reflections ... weird.
