Can you change your partner?

My boyfriend is a really good guy but what lacks of him is his immaturity. He is 20 years old right now who isn't focused on career or school. He still plays video games and acts like a 15 year old. I guess in the beginning of the relationship, I thought through time he will become more mature and grow with me but obviously after a year, nothing has change.

Should I continue to wait till he finally becomes a man which could be from 2-10 years from now (we really don't know how long), or make him change by giving him a choice to grow up or just leave the relationship.

I understand that a person would only change for themselves and not for anyone else but how would a person realize that they need to change? Maybe when they are at the lowest point (failure) or they change when the right time comes? I don't know...need to get some opinions here, thanks!

 

Think u should talk to him about it

 

yap. you should talk to him.

majority guys will only be mature after 30 years old.

 

Like evil mui said, have a chat with him and see if you can work things out with him.

 

All you can do is to have a nice talk with him, maybe give him some insights, ask him what are his plans for the future and so on... but you cannot pressure or force a person to change. To do that, you'll just slowly drive him away. To threaten him with a break up is equivalent to forcing him.
20-yr-old is still OK in my opinion. If he's like 25 and still doesn't care abt his future, then it's time to walk away.
Anyway, if you prefer a more matured guy, you can always leave him. U r supposed to like ur partner the way he/she is, and if u just don't like his immaturity then he's not suited for u.

 

It is not easy to change a person.. and even if you do, will it be the same?

I do suggest speaking to him about it. But attempting to change him if he does not intend to.. will probably be difficult and futile.

Maybe through serious discussions, you can get to understand the reasons for his actions. Perhaps he is not as immature as he portray himself to be. Laziness and priorities might be an issue. But it does not necessarily indicate maturity in my opinion.

 

he's only 20; give him a break. need to enjoy that age; it only comes once. plus, if you can't enjoy at 20; when else can u enjoy?