Why won't cannibals eat divorced women? They're very bitter. Why do cannibals prefer eating readers to writers? Because writers cramp but readers digest. What did the cannibal do after he had dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass. Two cannibals just finished a big meal and one turns to the other while rubbing his stomach with his fist and say, "You know, I just ate my mother-in-law, and she still doesn't agree with me!" What's the definition of Trust? Two cannibals giving each other 69. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?" When do cannibals leave the table? When everyone's eaten. The first cannibal asked the 2nd cannibal, "Aren't you done eating yet?" The 2nd cannibal replied, "I'm on my last leg now." Did you hear about the cannibal who loved fast food? He ordered a pizza with everybody on it. One cannibal to another: I never met a man I didn't like! What is a cannibal's favorite type of TV show? A celebrity roast. Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant? Dinner costs an arm and a leg. Where do cannibals shop for fine furniture? Eatin' Allen's. What is a cannibal's favorite game? Swallow the leader. What do cannibals make out of politicians? Bologna sandwiches. What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner? The cold shoulder. A man gets captured by cannibals and every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks." Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school for buttering up his teacher? Two cannibals were sitting by a fire. The first says, "Gee, I hate my mother-in-law." The 2nd replies, "So, try the potatoes. Cannibal's recipe book: How to Serve Your Fellow Man. A cannibal visited his neighbor to admire his new refrigerator. "What is the storage capacity?" the man asked. "I'm not exactly sure," the neighbor replied. "But it at least holds the two men that brought it." A tourist goes to Africa and asks his tourist guide while walking in the jungle, "Are we safe here? Aren't there cannibals around here?" And the tourist guide says, "Yes. You can be sure there is no cannibals in Africa." And the tourist says, "But there may be still some cannibals." And the tourist guide says, "No, rest assured. We ate the last one last Monday." ---------------------------------------------------------- There were three men who were lost in the forest. They were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass the trial. The first step of the trial was to go into the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits. The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explains the trial to him-you have to shove the fruits up your ass without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten. The first apple went in...but on the second one he winced in pain, so he was killed and went to heaven. The second guy arrives with ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8.... on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter, therefore also was killed. The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy coming with pineapples." ------------------------------------------------------------------
