Censoring Santa: Sydney says no, no, no to Ho, Ho, Ho Posted Nov 15th 2007 2:52PM by Sarah Gilbert Filed under: Scandals Christmas (or should I say "Xmas" -- "the holiday season" maybe?) continues to be criminalized and the companies that make a business of tinsel, gaily wrapped packages and "ho, ho, ho" don't know whether to embrace or hide from the specter of political incorrectness. I'm sorry. Did I offend you? In the latest blow to the no-longer-holy holidays, Santas in Sydney, Australia are being urged to say "ha, ha, ha," instead of "ho, ho, ho." Recruitment firm Westaff (NASDAQ: WSTF), which contracts with hundreds of Santas, sending them to stores and social appearances throughout Australia, has re-vamped its training. It's telling would-be Santas that the "ho ho ho" phrase "could frighten children and could even be derogatory to women," according to an Australian newspaper. As Zac Bissonnette says, "ho, ho, ho" is offensive? I could understand if Santas were walking around calling people nappy-headed 'hos," but Santa's jolly greeting is more kid lit than gangsta rap. After all, what does "ho, ho, ho" remind you of, more, than "'Twas the Night Before Christmas"? Can't you just see a belly bouncing like a bowl full of jelly? Oh, dear. Now I've just offended those with larger-than-normal body types. While Christmas is certainly much ballyhoed by businesses worldwide -- from Starbucks' frenzy over its holiday drinks to the American high holy Black Friday -- it turns out that Christmas may not even be good for the economy. (Experts posit that buying so many unwanted things ends up making us unhappy, and is wasting our resources. I'd buy that for a dollar.) Christmas is just a minefield. Emphasize Christianity and you're alienating your Jewish and Muslim customers; pull a Lowe's and call your fake spruces "Family Trees" [pdf link] and you'll have the Christians boycotting you. This year, thanks to the China lead paint scare, many families don't even want to buy toys unless they're made in the U.S.A., handily excluding the majority of toy companies' products. If you are a business, can you win this year? Probably not. Unless you remember that this whole thing is supposed to be about the spirit behind "ho, ho, ho." Be jolly no matter what the size of your belly and how jelly-like its jiggles. Offer products that are good, safe and useful no matter how they're marketed in your circulars. Give a little. And, if there's no one watching and you're really careful, maybe you can wish some of your customers a "merry Christmas!" and laugh. Ho, ho, ho. HA HA HA too funny lol, where's the holiday spirit now.
