Why is it that most girls will dump their friends when they get a man?? I've been extremely annoyed @ my best friend lately (well, not really lately since she's been with her man for 2+ years already). The guy she's going out with is like the man of her dreams, her "childhood crush". Ever since she started going out with him, I haven't seen her much. I see her like once every 6 months or so. The problem is, every time her boyfriend is away, she calls me up, regardless if I'm busy or not & just talks to me about nonsense. But when he's around, I don't ever hear from her. A few months ago, we had lunch plans because her boyfriend was going to be away that day. The night before, she got into an argument with her boyfriend, so I asked her if we were still on for lunch. She said of course and that regardless of what her boyfriend says, she's still gonna go out. 2 hours before I was to meet her, she called to confirm everything. Then, 30 minutes before I was supposed to meet her, she called & canceled. She basically flaked out on me at the last minute. Then, she called me a few WEEKS later to apologize. When I asked her for a reason, she said that it was because she had to do something with her boyfriend. She was only on the phone with me for 2 minutes before she hung up because her boyfriend started giving her heat for not paying attention to him. Now, this isn't first time that she's ditched me to go do something with her boyfriend, even after numerous promises that she's gonna come out regardless of what her man says. Recently, she's realized that I've stopped calling her and that I've stopped making plans w/her. I tried making amends, but she put the nail in the coffin when she ditched me for the hundredth time, because of her man. I've lost so many of my girl friends because of their boyfriends. It's not as effortless to remain good friends when there are boyfriends/girlfriends in the picture, because the boyfriend or girlfriend will not always want to hang out w/your friends. Speaking from personal experience, for a lot of girls, they often replace their best girl friends with their boyfriends, meaning, their boyfriends become their best friends instead. This is a big mistake for girls to make because they end up with no friends when the relationship does not work out. So why is it that when girls get a man, they forget about their girl friends?? For me, it's always been chicks before dicks; bros before hoes. I'll never leave any of my friends behind just because I hook up w/somebody.
For me it was quite the opposite, my gf dumped me cos i demanded too much of her time, and i was kinda of selfish and put myself before her friends :(
I think it's hoes before bros! And when the couple breaks up, he's welcome to join the crew again. Guys understand that philosophy.
That's the way it is i guess. It happened to my sis and also a few of my fds. As soon as they get hitched up its like u never see them again. They r always hanging around with their other half and u just cant manage to see them anymore. Whats worst is that they can somethings change and its like "where's the fd that i use to hang around with?" It just happens my sis ended up losing touch with her fds and just hanged around with her bf and his fds, and my fd was the same but we do see him once in a while and after a while he would just rather hang around with us guys then his gf. But i see your pt shy, if u make plans with em and they cancel on ya all the time then thats just bs... i guess u just gotta ask yourself r they REALLY yours true fds?
So what you're telling me is that no matter how many times your best friend ditches you to hang out with his/her SO, you wouldn't mind? Call me selfish, but I do not think that I can put up with having a friend who would ask me out regardless if I'm busy or not, only to ditch me to hang out with their bf/gf at the last minute. This girl would call me up only if she needed something from me, but when I needed to talk to her, she'd always get off the phone with me because her man was unhappy. Every time she needed someone to talk to, every time he ditched her, I'd be there for her. When I had problems, she was never around. She'd always call me up when I'm at work to complain and complain... and she wouldn't let me off the phone, even if I had work to do. A couple years ago, I had gotten into a huge argument with my boyfriend at the time & really needed somebody to talk to. I was kind of reluctant to call up my best friend because she's always busy, but I figured that that's what best friends are for... to be there for you when you need them to be. When I called her up, we talked for 5 minutes before she cut me off & told me that her boyfriend was home. Of course, this wasn't the first time. It's not even that she's devoting all her time to her boyfriend because she lives with him. Her life practically revolves around this guy. Nowadays, she just hangs out with all of his friends & forgets about her own life and friends. I know that as her friend, I should be supportive of who she's dating and what not. People have the right to date whomever they wish, but also, you shouldn't completely disregard your friends' feelings just because you hooked up with somebody. I mean I still regard her as my friend & all, but everyone has limits, and I can only tolerate so much. I don't know. Perhaps guys have different viewpoints when it comes to this sort of stuff.
You don't have to hang out to be friends. When guys get ditched for girlfriends, it's understood...sex comes before friendship =P One of my friends only hangs with me when he's single, otherwise I don't hear a word from him for as long as a year. It's not like I'll hate him if he misses my bday party or something. And of course, I don't wish him to be single just to cure my boredom.
This is the power of love or rather attraction. It makes us do some dumb shit and clouds our good judgement. Neglecting your friends and making your partner the center of you universe is a huge mistake. I have several friends who have been through this situation and they learned from it after their break up. More often then not I see girls who are pushing their friends to the side to be with the guy. I am assuming your friend is in her first relationship because only girls in their first real relationship will behave like this. Again im only assuming and there are exceptions. For the guys they love having this power of controlling their partner. This gets complicated when the girl starts agreeing with everything the guy says or tells her to do. She then lets the guy think for her. When it comes to this, the guy then gets bored of the girl because she has no mind of her own. There is no longer any challenge. For me its not just bros before hoes. Its family before hoes. Feelings are inconsistent, attraction doesnt last forever, but what is left is attachment. Your friend might be in the attachment phase. Often times i put people on a priority list. My family is number one, whereas my friends are placed second. The lucky girl is place third. Any of these people can move up or down on this list, except members of my family. I know that they will never give up on me no matter what, but friends come and go and so do hoes. The girl can move ahead of my friends but not ahead of my family. The ultimate goal is for her to be part of the family. Luckily i have a group of friends who are loyal and trustworthy. It might seem kinda gay but we make sure to make time to bond with each other. Guys night out, guys sports night, or guys drinking night. the girls know their roles and tend to let their guys do their thing. It will take a very special girl to move ahead of my friends and ultimately be part of my family. It all depends on her personality and her actions. There has to be a balance because clinginess isnt attractive. Your friend will regret this in the future because she is neglecting her friends. For the person who said that he or she doesnt mind if their friends ditch them must be confused with what true friendships means. Its okay if your friend dithces you once or twice, but when it happens too often you have to question the degree of friendship between the two of you. There is a term we use for guys who are always with their girls, its called "Whipped". I think this can also apply to girls. anyways your friend isnt much of a friend because if she actually cares she would make time for you. This behavior is unhealthy and not the smartest thing to do. Love and relationships rarely last forever.
most girls will say "oh yeah! chicks before dicks!" but few will ever impose it. i never quite understood why many girls forget everything in their life, including family, just to be with some guy who turns out to be a jerk in the end. those who choose only their bf and no one else don't know how to balance the relationships they have in their life
