Ok, well, obviously everyone in this world lies, but sometimes when a person lies too much to the point that you wont even listen to them talk BS is them lying way too much... Someone I know and care about a lot...she was with this scumbag of a guy...and during their time together, she kept saying how "I wish I could be stronger" or "I'm not going to take any of it anymore, gonna step my foot down" or "I think I'm gonna break up with him..." etc, basically lots of random shit... Now, they have FINALLY broke up because....wait for it....he cheated on her...which she knew was coming and that quite frankly, so did everyone aorund her, and she was saying how "I told him I'm not going to see him anymore, I can't be friends with him knowing he did that to me..." blah blah blah... She's been saying that for quite some time now...yet...time and TIME again, we (me and her friends around her) constantly catch her texting him and occasionally calling him, saying things like "I miss you..." and whatever of the sort...basically she's being a total hypocrite... Today I was with her and I asked her if she wants to go out somewhere later, she said "No...I'm going out with uni girls later" so I was like Ok, I'll see you later... Then one of our friends called and said "I'm at cinema with my bf...and you know who we see?" And can anybody guess who? None other than my friend with her ex in the exact same screening... You know before she would tell me bullshit and I would just nod and try to be understanding, but now... I really thought I can trust the girl, fair enough she still missed the guy and everything...she was in love with him...when she was upset by him I would jus listen...I really thought i can turst the girl...but now...she just completely lies behind my back... I TRY to be understanding, because I absolutely hate this guy, I despise him, but for her happiness, I just bear with it and turn a blind eye, after all its her life and not mine...but she should know how she's starting to lose the close people around her because she chooses to be with someone who time and time again hurts her, and she keeps chatting shit to us and making up lies after lies... When she wants to talk, I will listen, but now quite frankly, i cant tell what she says is the truth or not... I'm getting to the point I've had enough of the same damn sob story and her not doing anything about it! If she doesnt want to see him again...fair enough...don't talk to him or meet up with the asshole... If she finds even his scent and touch repulsive, then stop constantly going back to him... It's SO damn simple...yet she fucking makes it as if it isn't...cries her damn heart out but still goes back for more..... ARGHHH............. I know I may sound quite selfish, after all, she is in love with the fool, but I've had enough of her lying...the more time I listen to her chat shit to me, the more fake I feel she is becoming and how I don't even WANT to be the shoulder she cries on anymore... But it's not in my nature to leave people I care about like that... Though now...I think I may just have to do that...leave her to crash and burn into nothing, and when I think she's burned enough, then come back and pick up the pieces... If you read this entire thing...thanks for listening to my rant...it's pretty long winded -sweat x
wow i dont know what to say, personally, you tried your best to listen and help but you cant take it anymore, so i guess let her be and let her find out the mistakes, shes bound to learn from it....but yeah people who constantly lies, it turns out to be utter BS is tiredsome. if its that bad as you say about her boyfriend, hope she finds out whether it was worth it, cos eventually she will lose her friends if it continues the way it is. I had a flatmate last year, who i didnt know well at first, but friend told me he likes to BS, so ok, but i didnt want that get in the way of my perception of him, but gradually, the stuff he comes up with is rather amusing, in the end its just stories im listening to and not true facts. like he claims to work for Pinewood studios, the studio which makes James Bond films, his mum use to be a supermum and often claims hes been there and there, living in a Penthouse whilst he was in New York and hes only a student at a university in a year below me. conversations are really short between us and i just nod along.
EXACTLY! its jus stories they're telling you now....I spoke to her today, and told her exactly what I thought...and I may be harsh, but hopefully she would take into account what I said and realise she could lose the people who do actually care about her... Your flatmate sounds funny, hahaha, supermum lol. Ayone else on PA ever feel like they're ion that same situation? Of long tiresome bullshit from people you know or care about? x
yeah, there's plenty of people like that. And well.. she's just not that bright to be deceived over and over again. My advice is that you should just give her eye to eye conversation and tell her how much you worry about her. "If you wind up getting hurt and need some help, don't come looking for me." would be a nice warning. or maybe "I told you so" or maybe make a dramatic approach with the guy (and a recorder), then get him to spit it out ! Face it, it's her fault in the end. yeah... i've met some serious liars in my life, all you can do is nod away because you don't want to seem like some arrogant douche and argue with them. people lie, and what pisses you off more is that people actually believe it. Face it, it's her fault in the end.
i HAVE told her face to face how i feel...it's down to her now... and quite frankly, if i saw that idiiot, i wont be talking, id be smashing his face in... he's been nothing but bad news since day one... ¬_¬
hmmm....its hard la... some girls are just in a bad relationship n they try to say things that they think ppl wanna hear for example... im never gonna talk to that a-hole again.... just so u wont tell her thats shes crazy.... i mean... of course u get tired of her ranting n yes its hard to keep ur mouth shut... i know... ive got one of these friends... shes in a bad relationship n i know she really wants to walk away from that guy... but its just too hard of course shes an idiot n of course its bad to lie to ur friend... but i guess their just desperate la... its hard to walk away from someone u love...even though they mistreat u sometimes... what can we do? i guess we only can listen n give our opinion... n wait wait until they open up their eyes n acknowledge the fact that assholes are assholes... n they wont change for them wait until they see the light at the end of the tunnel hehe
If she's obsessed/clingy about this guy then pleas of reasoning probably won't work. Confronting her about it probably won't have the desired effect either. One of my wife's friends is that way. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff this guy has put her over on her (such as pretending to have kids when he didn't, asking for large sums of money to start a company which was shut down by the FBI--allegedly--and having to borrow said money from her parents). Telling her the guy is a douchebag doesn't work; there's always some reasoning she can come up with to justify his actions. So my idea is, fix your friend up with someone else. If she can switch her obsession to someone else, maybe this new person will be better and your friend won't be complaining so much.
i got a friend like that... she's on and off with this guy... and sometimes he can be really sweet but then there's a whole darker side to him... she rants alot to us...comes to us in tears...breaks up with him...then takes him back....and it continues... but what can we do? like u said...its their life... we as her friends can only support her and give her advice which she then chooses whether to listen to or not.. but what really annoys me is that we're always there for her....no matter what...but when we need help or in the middle of a crisis...she's not there for us cos she's off with her bf.. and that has taken a toll on our friendship.. also recently, i was kinda hurt when like she chose to party with some next girls instead of coming around to hang with us.. but what can we do?
She must have been very dependent on this guy to have been so attached.... the more dependent a girl is on a guy the second he knows that he can get away with practically anything... and that is just the case.... your friend is lying to you only about meeting with her ex because she knows you do not approve of it and doesn't want to hear you talk about how stupid that is or that she shouldn't, she is helpless at the moment basically if you want to keep the friendship you MUST look pass this and call her out on her lies. Straight up next time when she says she is going to go out with other people when you asked her to hang out then just simply reply: If by other people you mean your good for nothing ex who is just going to take advantage of your reliance on him than by all means do as you wish, just stop lying to me about it, i'm your friend don't lie to the people that matter most. your friend just needs to snap back on track... she is really lost and can save herself.... she needs people to help her get over him..... and being the friend in this situation is the hardest part..... at times you just want to give up but the extent of how far you will go measures how close of a friend you are.
hahaha, you know, I've been and done all the advice given lol, the funnny thing is, she is my cousin, not my friend, so what I said to her was... "If you was one of my friends, I would have just left you by now, because quite frankly I've had enough of listening to the same thing again, and theres only a certain amount of understanding I can be, but because your my blood, there's an exception and I will still always be here." She knows that I've lost respect for her and knows exactly how I feel and how stupid I think she is, but she keeps lying to us and probably herself too, so nothing else I can do... wait for her to get a reality check and hope things go back to normal...
Ah, I'm kind of in that situation too. This girl always puts a guy in front of everything else and when she gets hurt, she comes running back to her friends, who she ditched when she was going out with that guy. :\ I know how you feel.
can i just say...... girls are just stupid like that sometimes.... lol or so my many friends that are girls say..
hmmm now the question is, will guys do the same or does the same old saying goes " bros over hoes " lol
